The neck was pulsing
Blood, pumping,red, a fountain against the green of the grass.
The eye was looking around in panic .
Before stopping on the boy.
He just stood there
Frightened into shock
Staring at the beast
It’s large muscles trembling
It’s left front leg
Hanging from the skin,split in the middle
Like the string from a snapped bow and arrow
Like so many sticks the boy used to break over knee
He’d heard the shot while exploring the woods.A single boom…the percussion shaking the earth,wildlife scattering,coyotes bellowing in the distance…
He came running — only slowing when he saw the horse…laying there in the open…tied to a tree.Leg,split…and a fountain of blood from the gun shot …pumping with every heart beat….
This will be his first encounter with death.
the matrix (1999)
Remember The Matrix?. I do. Mostly,because I drank a Surge and got a big dose of nostalgia for things like Surge,Hi C, and things that happened in 1999
This was a great film and even better trilogy.IF you rented it. it had that cool aspect that only films in 1999-(the year the world was ending.Was the Y2K even real? What was real?) overpacked with information-featuring robot bugs digging around in someone’s stomach could have.(you know you remember) However,when it was on TV–Back when good things were still on the Television.Like Friends and Frasier and remember that Yahoo commercial? Man,who would’ve thought Google would crush that.But like I was saying…when it was on TV …you got a whole other film…I know …because I tried to watch it when I was like …I don’t know…Ten or so…and keep in mind…I’m Ten. The longest film I’ve seen is Jurassic Park.Saving Private Ryan. Maybe,Gone With The Wind …it always took a whole weekend much to our dismay (it was my sisters favourite) There was no Netflix.Google was only a year or so out of the box. Cell phones had green screens and you were lucky if you got to play Tetris. What I’m getting at is this.
Unless it was Saturday morning and you were Spiderman Or Batman…maybe Gundam Wing…or Dragon Ball Z …I did not have time for you. I was an active kid…I had 40 acres of Woodland territory to get lost in…(much to my parents hopes I’m sure)
But back to the matrix.
This thing is such a different film on TV. I’m sitting there. Neo is in leather and sunglasses. Dodging bullets.Effing bullets!! I get up to get pop corn or I don’t know …use the bathroom…make a sandwhich. Come back. Hey-ho! New film! Dude’s on a space ship vomiting everywhere! With ports in the back of his neck…Get up for more drinks that were NOT Surge (I had a heart thing that would not permit the consumption of Surge) and come back,Neo is dodging bullets again!!
I thought for like two years these were two different films. Seriously. Until we had a marathon of the thing at a friends house.
So yeah.I watched the whole thing again a couple of years ago…made sure I had my food …my beverages and wouldn’t miss a thing. and you know what. I still have no idea what it’s about. But occasionally I may quote
“Good evening Mr. Anderson.”
To show that I was there…
until the stars burn out
The earth freezes
In its motion
The rivers run dry
Level into the sea…
Like so many coffee cups
In the floorboard …
And when it all ends
I will start again.
“Second to the right,then straight on ’til morning…”
I hope your dreams
As you continuously
They say that caring is finite
And need is eternal ….
A doctor breaks down on a rooftop
Or maybe in the stairs …
They say that every Monday morning
Pastors and psychiatrist’s
turn in their resignation
And notices ….
They say that love will grow old
And we will grow tired and wary
Familiar with knives and all too numb…
But sleeping on a plane
I saw you
It hit me right between the eyes
You and me
See how we are
You and me
See who we are
Sleeping on the wires —
Triggers for all the ghouls and all the shadows —
It’s all right
We know who we are
So we give
Until the world turns
And all the triggers
Are houses for memories
And I love …
You and me
See how we are.
In the midst of everyone
All the faces
All the people
Everything that could be
And start fires
In my lungs
Hurricanes in my soul
Under my skin
our love could
eclipse the universe.
(Photo origin unknown)
Did you know,that in WWII…Hitler wanted his generals to burn down Paris …but they looked at the city…and they just couldn’t….the idea of saving it ‘s historic pieces …was to great.To be able to look at them…years later…and know…’I could have destroyed that…but I chose to save it instead.’
Too bad they couldn’t all feel the same about saving a race of people ….
I’m sorry I’m rambling again
I was just looking at a photo Sara took…it’s hanging above her couch…Her place is small,but nice.’efficient’ is the term she uses.Doesn’t believe in wasting space.
She walks out of her room, red hair,pulled back into a messy bun.Hands me a large Yellow envelope….and just stairs at me with her big green eyes.
“Take it…it’s nothing…I just thought you might want them.”
I tear open the corner
And there they are
Black and white images
Of Laura, working on stage…directing actors….Laura …sitting in a window…looking out at the people of New York
My chest feels heavy….
“When did you take these??”
Sara just shrugs and pours some coffee
“A few months before the accident…how are things with you? We haven’t exactly heard from you and it’s been a while since I see you around.”
She sat down on the floor beside the window ,crossing her legs…lighting a cigarette.
“I’m ok.i took a journalism internship…but i had to go to Louisiana… Just a bunch of old jobs …stories on culture…things like that.”
“It was…I really needed to get away,ya know?”
“Yeah….I can’t really take much photographs anymore…I have this thing with my eyes…I just can’t see.”
“What?,why didn’t you say anything? Have you had it checked out?”
“No,no,I don’t have to…it’s genetic …I know how this works.”
She shrugged and got up,crossing the floor.
“Sara,look,I’m sorry…I know I haven’t been around…I left real fast.like,real fast.and I’m sorry. But…I had to….I just want to be a good writer…I want to write something that matters…something good.and I’m really sorry,you should have been able to reach me.”
She turned around and looked at me.
I kind of felt sick then
Because I realised
Everyone is older now
and some of us are dead
Some of us are going blind
And for me
The world just kind of felt numb
And I just kind felt stuck
And I felt real selfish
“You could always tell me anything,josh.you didn’t have to leave like that….and all of us had plans…I don’t know what I’m going to do…I have seen wonderful things …I regret nothing…I don’t have to see anything else.especially if i have you two.”
Sara looked out the window
And I realised just then
How there’s so many people in New York
We still have only a few
And we still feel alone sometimes
And if we are lucky to have these few …who stay close …we should definitely keep them.
I feel so heavy in your arms
And I know you can see
You can see straight through me
And all the weather
And all the sea
Can come and drown me
I feel so ….
My soul leaving me
I’m letting go
These things that seperate me
Bones and flesh
Ash and shadows
I’m leaving it all behind
I feel so
Heavy in your arms
But you still carry me
And all stays the same