Stutter into 2014

This year has been something else
I was thinking about it this morning at the gym 5:00am to be exact
– let me just say, it is a miracle I made it to the gym that early
5am is virus hours,you just shouldn’t get up until after 10. It shouldn’t happen-

I’m moving at the end of this month
Half my family is moving to Africa
For a significant amount of time
My younger brother is getting married
And to top it off I have questionable spots on my chest and back – and the muscle hurts.
my friend Silvi, always the optimist, isn’t concerned, so I shouldn’t be, right . Right? Not concerned. Right.

Change happens
You cannot stop it
It is more reliable than death and taxes,well maybe just death.
Not only is it a part of life
It is in essence
Life, yet
We spend our entire lives planning for the future, preparing for something we do not even have the assurance of
And Change happens
What’s important is how we react to change.

love happens


My brother is getting married
Saturday – to be exact
I’ve never seen two people
Compliment each other more
Now you have to understand my brother. He really liked dating.
and I thought for sure he’d be the last to get married.
But that’s the thing, you don’t know.
I remember him disappearing every night to sit with her and they’d just talk …..and then one day he comes in and staring up at the ceiling said, ” I’m gonna get married”
So I gave him our grandmothers ring.
They just fit .
And that’s what change is.
He puts it this way
” we talked , and the more we got to know each other – the more we wanted to know , and the more we opened up
We realised we think about things
And feel very much the same”

That’s the thing
You learn to live together
What makes you tick?
What makes you really laugh ?
I mean really like until you snort.
What do you like, what are you passionate about ?
What makes you angry
You learn all of this
How to function together
And most of us
I know I have and even My brother
Had this fear that if you get so close
Then it’s old and the new wears off
And so you move on
But it’s really quite opposite
Because the closer you get
You should be constantly seeing something new
Because we change as we live
Our taste changes
Our desires change
You just have to be committed
To applying the effort
And you find
That after you know them
You love them
With all they are
For who they are
Not your idea of them
For all they’ve shown you
After you see them dance
Sometimes while driving
After you’ve seen them really upset
After you’ve heard them breakdown on the phone
After you’ve seen them
In their natural state
Who they are
How they are
The up and the downs
The late calls
What are these things ?
things that make us unique
Make us enough
Nobody is perfect
So burn your list
You’re going to hurt each other
But are they enough?
Are they worth it?
Do they compliment you ?
Make you better?
That’s what I see with these two
Life is change
Breathe it in
We can build fences or we can build walls or we can reach across these things-in an attempt to connect.

So There’s a lot going on
But not a lot at all
It’s just change
People moving forward
People living
It’s movement
And it’s all worth it
And I don’t know what it all means
Insurance is so expensive we can’t afford it – from 250.00 to 6500.00
The world is suspended in motion
And quite upset
How it all ends I don’t know
But if it all ends tomorrow
At least we reached across ,
We climbed those walls,
Reaching for dreams
Reaching to connect
Finding people like us
This is our story
The story of us
At least we were real.

2 thoughts on “Stutter into 2014

  1. your prose is something to marvel at. you don’t know me, and i don’t know you, but your writing gives me a sense of unbridled melancholy mixed with seasonal nostalgia. it makes me sad, but the kind of sad i could move mountains with. don’t, don’t, don’t ever stop expressing.

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