The obvious

When I was younger
I really believed certain things were
A lot more serious than they turned out to be
Spending most of my time
In fear of the FBI
And not for logical reasons
It was those stamps on mattresses
The ones that said “do not remove”
I never figured out why we had them either …if I remove it
And a child suffocates
Will I be in trouble
Because it couldn’t read the warning label?

And blow dryers
I don’t understand that warning label
“Do not use while sleeping”
This literally means
Someone used this while sleeping
You’re looking at the result of a lawsuit
This label
Either that
Or
The result of a horribly gone wrong
Murder case ….
Officer: “well judging by the broken window …the muddy boot prints …and the cord wrapped around her throat…severe burning…
Looks like she fell asleep blow drying her hair again”

Worst fail ever.

That was all when I was younger
And like I said
None of it turned out to be as big a deal as I thought.

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