New York #2

Women + Men

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“I don’t know…”
Sara was staring straight ahead with her camera …taking shots of old people in the park
And animals …
Her flaming red hair spraying out
From her hoodie
I looked at her for a second
Shaking my head I asked again
“Are you really ok?”
“No…we were together for 7 years
And then he just left…
I don’t know if I can do this again…”
She was always the strong one
In the group
Her British accent
Tattoos and camera
She seemed untouchable
Until she started dating again
And then reverted back to
This …person…
Who couldn’t make a decision
But in her defence
Her previous relationship
Had been something else
“Jared looked at me like he didn’t know me …and then he just left…”
She took a shot of an old couple asleep on a bench ….

I sighed …
“Well,you can’t stay in bed all the time…you have to get out more …
Turn these pictures in…”
I kicked the curb ….sending pigeons flying around in a panick

“You turn in your manuscript??”
She was genuinely concerned
“No…I can’t finish it…”
“Are you still seeing Laura?”
“Yeah,but I don’t know…I think so…she’s a screen writer …I mean we essentially do the same thing …and I don’t know…it seems to be going well…”
“I think I’m a lesbian…”
I stopped …
“What? I helped you pack when Eric cheated on you…you just got through telling me about jared having a hard time because…”
She laughed
“I know I know…but I don’t know how to be myself in a relationship…
But with women …I can do that…it’s very freeing…I can breathe …”

“Well,I’m not telling jared..”
“Neither am I …I’ll just let it run its course..”

“You are fucking insane …”

“Maybe but at least I’m not afraid to turn my manuscripts in or ask a girl to marry me”

I grabbed her camera and shot a bar across the street
“That’s just unnecessary cruelty …I’m not getting married anyway…
You need to talk to Jared
He needs to understand what’s going on he fell in love with
A strong woman who made decisions
And now you’re afraid of upsetting him …you have to talk to him about
What’s going on .”

She stopped setting the camera down
She started to cry …
In 5 years I had never seen Sara cry
So I just held her
And said nothing


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