Your weekly update

I saw my brother
At his job
He’s so in love with that place
I asked him how he was
And he said
“Oh I’m just dying from anticipation
Of Black Friday
I can’t wait
I’m counting down the days
In fact
I found out what I’m
Going to be doing,
Working in electronics”

I looked at him
And said
“Hey that’s great!
Nothing exciting ever happens
In electronics
You’ll see hardly anyone”
He’s probably going to see his dr though,I don’t know.

I went to my Dr recently
I love him
He’s great
After two years maybe three
I have come to the understanding
That I am his youngest patient or client
Everyone else is
just breaking a century
Sometimes
I like to sit there
And pretend I’m Benjamin Button

My Dr is hilarious
He asks me random questions
With a fake amount of concern
Such as
“Oh my
Have you always had that nervous tick? I notice
You have a lot of nervous energy
When you’re sitting..”
And I’m like
“Well yeah doc
I’m an anxious person
We’ve been medicating this for two years…it’s kind of one of the reasons I’m here…remember.”
And then he asks me how my depression is going
And I’m like
I don’t sleep
And he says something like
“Well what about what I gave you for that..?? Did it help”
“Well I kind of quit taking it
But I wasn’t depressed when I took it”
“Well you see it was an anti depressant,so if it was helping…(dramatic hand gestures)
You should probably keep taking this medication you stupid man
What’s the matter with you?
(Fake slaps me)
This is generally how we get along

And then I leave
And as I’m leaving
I hear a voice
Not just any voice
But the voice of a relative
A distant relative
We’re close
Like real close
Like Alabama and Minnesota
The earth and the moon
He is always waving dramatically
And declaring
“That’s my cousin!”
Now I don’t know this man
I have never seen him
I’m sure we must be related
But it’s not a mutual feeling of excitement for me
I try to be social
And nice
But it comes across about as well
As a public stoning

So I just keep walking and wave
And just as I’m walking out the door
I hear
“That’s my cousin!”

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