New York #5

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After Laura’s funeral
I couldn’t write
I couldn’t eat
It was like
I just couldn’t function
I suppose
No one is easily
Prepared for loss

I had all of these drafts
Ready
But I couldn’t turn any of them in …

There was this one lunch
Sara and I had
Sitting in a cafe
About 3 months after ….
The traffic moving outside
I just grabbed a piece of paper
And started writing
And slid it across the table
To her …
She stared
And then wrinkled her nose
And covered the paper with her red hair
Blocking my view
And slid it back to me

This was a lot like texting
I guess
But closer
The time it took to write it out
It felt …closer
And we went on like that
For the course of the meal
We never said a word
We just slid that paper across the table …
and somehow
It was like
A dam broke
And I was able to breathe
Again
For the first time
I cried right there
Beside that old stop light
Where the bbq hut used to be

And Sara walked with me to the
Theatre
where we dropped off my drafts
And then we went home
climbed in bed together
And fell asleep
Nothing else
Just …sleep.

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