A meteorologist,a football fan,and a dental hygienist.

have you ever wondered who looks at a crime scene and says
“Hold on guys
I have a feeling about this place…
That’s it.
I just bought this scene
It’s mine now
I want to keep it
For people to look at..forever”

Martin Luther King
Marilyn Monroe
You can apparently look at the rooms they died in

The football fan looked at me
The dental hygienist looked at me
The meteorologist looked at me
“Or maybe they just recreate the scene with like food stains …ya know?”

Football fan looked at me
“Wait, Martin Luther king was killed? I thought he died in his sleep???”

I stared for a second
No,man.that is so far from close.

“But he was in a hotel??”

Yes,giving a speech on a balcony and then they shot him
Like they did the kennedy’s

“There was more than one Kennedy shot??”

Oh yeah man…his brother was shot too.
Not at the same time but very close together. ’63 and ’68

And you would think
Important people
After some time
Would start to resist
The urge to stand near balconies
Or large windows
Or open automobiles
It’s history!
Right there!

Meteorologist hyped in
With “hey the pope mobile!
Dude
You can’t touch it
If planet earth died …he spread his hands wide for effect
It would be the only surviving thing
To remember us by
Catholicism wins again”

Oh yeah,I said laughing
Airforce One!
It could double as a bunker missile
And the president would still walk out into your living room
And be like
“Yeah,we found you.”
That would actually be a good George Bush joke …where are these when I need them??
The dental hygienist shook her head
“I don’t get it?”
It’s ok,never mind.
I was so mad at the movie
You know, Airforce One
Back in the 90s
with Harrison Ford
And Gary Oldman
When the plane breaks up into a bunch of paper pieces at the end
I was like
That’s
Never gonna happen
Ever!

The football fan
shook his head
“Oh yeah
I loved that movie
Harrison Ford was so great
He was the bad guy right?”

I couldn’t speak
I just sat there
The dental hygienist started laughing
Into her hand
And then it all just came out of me
At once

He was the president !!!
Dude !
You had one job!
One job!
Remember,
Gary- Oldman – is – the – bad guy
I said with probably too much effect
And it’s so great
Because they came back
In Paranoia
And fought against each other
And Ford did his famous finger pointing
“and now I’m standing on your neck!!”
Or something like that
“That’s a really great impersonation!”
The dental hygienist said,clapping.

Yeah,
he’s unfortunately
coming back to do Han Solo
In Star Wars which I am not excited about
It’s really like he’s doing them a favor
He even broke his leg
The Millennium Falcon’s door fell on his leg
They stopped filming for like 4 months!

The football fan
spoke up and pointed
“Oh yeah,aren’t they doing another Star Wars film soon,guys?

Everyone lost it
“Oh my god man !!”

You’re killing us
I said
Literally
Dead on the floor
Blood
So much blood
Look at it
It’s like Jurassic park in here
I can’t believe you
I’m going to have to write about this
It won’t be poetry
I may have to kill you
In my Novel
The meteorologist got really excited
“Hey!” Snapping his fingers
He pointed at me to stop me
“Have you written about that yet?”
Everyone looked across the room at me
Waiting for an explanation

Not yet
It’s not as funny when I write it
As it is …when you tell it.
I said
trying to get him to …well …tell it.
Everyone waited
Ok
I gave in
On the 4th of July
They
Saw …
I waved my hands as if to explain
An object flying
At the same time
On different sides of the county

He was bouncing up and down now shaking his head “mmmhmm we did !! It was a green light! A UFO”

And you were sitting on your porch
Drinking “Mountain Dew”
I said
Annnnd it absolutely wasn’t fireworks
Because …of a certain holiday??
“No” He said
“Remember someone else saw it !
You can’t deny it”

Well, I guess we’ll have to call Scully and Mulder ….
Everyone stared blankly
I waited …
Just forget I said anything.
That’s an X-file

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