I’m telling you for the last time

So I started going to the gym again
For real this time
I am aware this is like the 39th time
I’ve written about this
And I’ve come to terms
With the fact that maybe this
Will be my “yoga bitch”
(A book I haven’t actually read,only looked at while visiting my sister.
For all I know it could be about knitting)
You know,the book where she’s on again -off again with yoga
And cigarettes and drinking
And she accepts that.

But I waited like 3 weeks before writing about it this time
And I can tell you this …
Your body never gets used to anything 5 am or earlier …
That’s the hardest part
Waking up
Why are we waking up?
It’s 5 am…
Are we sick?
It’s cold outside
We are not sick…
We’re going to lift things?!?
This is madness!!

After separation anxiety from your bed
You’re good
And I say this
Because in all honesty
Unless you’ve been getting up
Earlier than 4am
For thirty years
You’re never going to be used to it
And people who are
Only got used to it
The last stretch of those years
I really believe that
I’m a night owl
I can stay up till 4am
And I’m good
If I go to sleep for two minutes
And then wake up
Forget it
Someone is going to die
(Unless I take my sleeping pill
In which case-good luck-I will sign the house away half asleep and bless it speaking Klingon
But come morning
I remember nothing.)

So health!
It’s good early
No one is there
You can do things you
Don’t commonly do
Like lay in the floor and cry
Or coach yourself along
“What if I hadn’t took that fifth Oreo
12 years ago
Maybe then I would be a person
Of health and not failure”

But the truth is
You are a person of health
You’re the health nut
Because anyone else
Would be asleep right now
And I guess that means something


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