Eggs

So cooking can be fun
As long as there’s someone to cook WITH
You know,like a social thing
But not a party
Because that’s too much going on
Too much anxiety

I like to cook
At like
3am
That’s the perfect time of day
to be in the kitchen
Nobody cares what you look like
Or what kind of mess you make
You just make your soup
And hand crush the tomatoes
And everything is fun

However
If you get up alone
Like I do sometimes
Because of insomnia
midnight hunger
From eating like a bird
(I can’t help it)
The kitchen can become a very dangerous place

Take eggs for example
I don’t bake a lot
I’m not quite THERE yet
I’m still on like soups and sliced bread
But
Apparently eggs go bad
And I forgot about this
Mostly, because I have one minuscule
Incident with bad eggs
From my childhood
And it involved a wooded area
And running …
So I guess I blocked it out

But the thing to know is very simple
when eggs go bad
they don’t just explode
they also become the substance of play-doh

Let me tell you
They do not smell the same
As play-doh
But this can be fixed
By quickly taking out the trash
And cooking mass portions of bacon
Because,bacon.
Bacon smells delicious
Kind of like pickles
But better.

So if you ever crack an egg
And it just stays in your hand
Like a rock
Or clay
And you’re not in the woods
Where you can throw it at your siblings
Or any other small children
Just run….

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