The one about gasoline + cars 

Look here for the short video of this post

 

In case you didn’t know,cars need petrol,fuel,or as we say in America gasoline…to run. 

 and there are signs along the side of the road and interstate–to help you find this special fuel. 

As you well know…I have the shortest memory …of anyone…ever. So remembering to GET the gas is a pretty big deal.and if your car doesn’t have a fuel gauge that works…yeah.Some men become rocket scientist and keep logs on how many miles their vehicle can go on a tank and what mile they last filled up said car….

I am not one of those men.

We were driving home,yesterday,when my girlfriend looked at me,and said “do you think we should get gas?”

I looked at the dashboard,tried to remember filling up the car…

I looked at the last gas station we would be passing for some time “nah,we’ll be fine.” 

Then the car shakes …

“Uh oh,babe. I think we just ran out of gas..”

Now,this story would be great…like for one of those learning moments…

Had it only happened once…

But it didn’t 

It also happened last week 

While we were on a different journey 

In the same sequence 

“Do you think we need to get gas?”

Looks at last gas station,looks at magic dashboard,like it has the answers…despite the fact that it is broken…

“Nah,we will be fine”

Car shakes 

“Uh oh,babe.i think we just ran out of gas…”

So I had to walk across the interstate to the local town’s water board and ask about a gas station 

The girl looked at me 

And then standing 

She said “wow,you’re so lucky.there’s one just beyond that tree!”

I thought she was being sarcastic 

But then I saw the sign …about half a mile from our car…Jet Pep 

So I walked over there 

In the heat 

To buy a gas can 

But they didn’t sell any gas cans 

I know this because I asked the woman behind the counter…she just looked at me …smoking her cigarette With all this sweat …putting both hands on the counter…she said…

“We don’t have any,Hun. ( strike one,never call me Hun) and the last one I had around here I gave away yesterday to a poor pedestrian…they never brought it back…”

“So you don’t have anything,anything at all…gallon jug…maybe a bucket.”

“Nope.too bad for you.”

“Ok,thanks.”

So I started walking back to the car…passed a dead raccoon …saw a diaper…never used…

And then I saw a yard.It was a tilled yard…from a tractor…like in those country songs…so I thought,if they don’t kill me…before I can ask for a gas can….

And I started towards their front door…

My girlfriend started texting me 

“What are you doing?,did the station have gas?, where are you going?”

I took out my phone,pretended to talk on it ….knocked on the door…but because this is not CSI and I was not about to be axe murdered by a meth head….

No one came to the door

and I realised I’m going to have to push this car…that’s about to happen…and I said to myself…oh Lord,if there is anyway possible that I can get out of pushing this car…please…

Just then–a car whipped in behind ours and a good citizen, jumped out,with a little too much enthusiasm,jeans tucked inside his boots…

“What’s going on?”

I looked at him, “well,I’ve run out of gas..and the station doesn’t sell anything to put gas in.”

He looked at our cars

Put a dip in 

“Well,I don’t have anything,but I tell you what…if you put it in nuetral,I’ll push you with my car.” 

Bless this good citizen 

On that day he was like batman to me 

So we did that 

And when we got there

I carried a credit card inside — to the chain–smoking angry woman 

“Can I use this at the pump to fill up?”

She took a long drag 

“You bet,Hun”

(Strike 2)

“Awesome”

So the moral of the story 

Is this 

If you have a short memory 

Night blindness 

Your inner GPS is like a shaken box of scrabble 

And gas is an important commodity 

Men

Listen to your women 

They know things 

They’re much smarter than you 

Don’t take all the risks 

Like driving without gas 

Or else

You just may be pushing that car…

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