New York #10

  (Photo origin unknown)

Did you know,that in WWII…Hitler wanted his generals to burn down Paris …but they looked at the city…and  they just couldn’t….the idea of saving it ‘s historic pieces …was to great.To be able to look at them…years later…and know…’I could have destroyed that…but I chose to save it instead.’

Too bad they couldn’t all feel the same about saving a race of people ….

I’m sorry I’m rambling again 

I was just looking at a photo Sara took…it’s hanging above her couch…Her place is small,but nice.’efficient’ is the term she uses.Doesn’t believe in wasting space. 

She walks out of her room, red hair,pulled back into a messy bun.Hands me a large Yellow envelope….and just stairs at me with her big green eyes. 

“Take it…it’s nothing…I just thought you might want them.”

I tear open the corner 

And there they are

Black and white images 

Of Laura, working on stage…directing actors….Laura …sitting in a window…looking out at the people of New York 

My chest feels heavy….

“When did you take these??”

I ask 

Sara just shrugs and pours some coffee 

“A few months before the accident…how are things with you? We haven’t exactly heard from you and it’s been a while since I see you around.”

She sat down on the floor beside the window ,crossing her legs…lighting a cigarette.

“I’m ok.i took a journalism internship…but i had to go to Louisiana… Just a bunch of old jobs …stories on culture…things like that.”

“Sounds good”

“It was…I really needed to get away,ya know?”

“Yeah….I can’t really take much photographs anymore…I have this thing with my eyes…I just can’t see.”

“What?,why didn’t you say anything? Have you had it checked out?”

“No,no,I don’t have to…it’s genetic …I know how this works.”

She shrugged and got up,crossing the floor.

“Sara,look,I’m sorry…I know I haven’t been around…I left real fast.like,real fast.and I’m sorry. But…I had to….I just want to be a good writer…I want to write something that matters…something good.and I’m really sorry,you should have been able to reach me.”

She turned around and looked at me.

I kind of felt sick then 

Because I realised 

Everyone is older now 

and some of us are dead 

Some of us are going blind 

And for me 

The world just kind of felt numb 

And I just kind felt stuck 

And I felt real selfish

And ashamed 

“You could always tell me anything,josh.you didn’t have to leave like that….and all of us had plans…I don’t know what I’m going to do…I have seen wonderful things …I regret nothing…I don’t have to see anything else.especially if i have you two.” 

Sara looked out the window 

And I realised just then 

How there’s so many people in New York 

But yet 

We still have only a few 

And we still feel alone sometimes 

And if  we are lucky to have these few …who stay close …we should definitely keep them. 

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