The kid with the rubber band gun

  

1

A lot of people have been congratulating me lately on my engagement. And their children find it incredibly interesting. There’s one kid,who always thinks I’m Tony Stark…

 (Little kids think I’m a superhero and adults think I’m JFK JR…but there’s nothing like the elderly and their deceased grandchild to bring it back down to earth.) 

He was just standing there, shooting me in the throat with a rubber band gun,asking questions. “Why did you want to do that?.” And then his sister wanted to see a picture of the ring…so I showed them a picture of the ring and they both said …”buy me a ring like that!” And then my Larynx was shot with another rubber band…and the question was asked again…”why did you buy her a ring like that?” 

“I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with my best friend and grow old together rather than apart.” 

They just looked at me…

His sister tilted her head and then said “I think you liked her too.” I laughed “Maybe just a liiittle bit.”  – Another rubber band bullet – “you like her!! You like her!!”  They both were saying it. “Well,you have me there. We do like each other. Very very much. I guess I can’t hide the truth from two clever people like you.” 

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In other news…

People have been coming up to me and telling me…”I was up ’till 3am reading your blog…I read all of it.” I really don’t know what to say to things like this…I just thank them. Because I am thankful.Without you guys I’m nothing I just can’t get used to people actually reading anything I write.

But if it’s…I don’t know what you call yourselves these days…teenagers I guess,we will go with teenagers.It is substantially easier…I say, “did you get to the dark matter? …the stuff that echoed Trent Reznor? …then you didn’t read all of it…but be thankful for that. You stopped just in time.” 

And they look at me and say “you don’t look like the sort of person that would listen to Nine Inch nails…” And I just laugh and say “it was a very strange time in my life and I was very young.Be glad you weren’t there. Trust me.” 

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Cooking is so much easier now. Today I made chicken.Frickin’ Fried Chicken.And a salad that I didn’t understand-but it was so good-did you know,almost every meal requires Olive Oil? I should have invested in Olive Oil. Forget motor oil…invest in cooking oil.  

I’m drinking cold coffee…which still smells almost like warm coffee..I think I like the idea of coffee…I just never really finish it…which drives L crazy…that’s what we will call her …L…

Everyone thinks I’m on a diet because we started cooking…this is not the case…but I will eat anything. And L knows this. And she will tell you too…because I am just glad to be eating. Before ,I just had yogurt and vodka. I never cooked until we started dating. And then I started making meals and soup for her to take for lunch. Many of which ….were not that great. I can’t believe she even finished them. I remember getting one text that said …”this is great. But. salt and pepper dude,embrace it.” 
But – from burning water.To fried chicken? And sharing recipes with people?? Not bad. Not bad at all. 

 

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