Venture Forth

Hello, all. 

So L and I, we decided to take a trip. A vacation if you will. I’m sure you have heard of them. 

Women pack very differently than men. I don’t know how or why. 

Maybe I just don’t pack things right.  I noticed this when I sat down and began watching her pack. And she asked me where – my -things were. And I said , “dear,I already packed.”

L had a bag just for shoes. A bag for clothes (not counting what was on hangers) and a “random crap bag” Which is really cool because you just start throwing soaps and shampoos in there. Not really. You have to wipe that down man. Set that in there under organization. Put Tetris to work. You were a 90’s child. Come on pull yourself together. 
Here lies my bag. I too had things on hangers. But this had everything else in the world I thought I could imagine needing – for 5 days. 
It was a swell time. 

Vacations are magic places where Reality does not apply.Why else would you drive 7 to 12 hours to be somewhere else other than the place you call “home” you know,the place you looked at when it was bare bones and dirty windows…and then signed a 36 year housing loan just to call it “home”

And here’s why they are magic.  I’ll explain…

The shower broke. As soon as we got there. I used my years of plumbing experience passed on through the DNA…I stared at it for 45 minutes. And then began turning handles. Finally I made a phone call. So they sent a worker out to our room to fix it. and when she got there I was really excited and I made sure to watch. So I could learn how to fix showers. And share that information with you.

And here’s what I learned ….

she stood there…staring at it…and then turned handles…and looked at me. And said..The words I’ll never forget…

“Yup,that’s broke.” 

And smiling pulled out another key…

“We have you another room that’s bigger and better.Enjoy your stay.” 


If you ever have a broke shower outside of the magic vacation Bubble , you better pull up YouTube or call your local Plummer.’cause you’re not going to be able to trade that in on a better house or bathroom.

That’s what I learned. 
And if you are driving over 4 hours at a time. Stop to walk around. Otherwise. You will not be able to move.Your body just locks up. It’s magnificent,really. Like a preview of life at 70…”coming attractions…eat more potassium.”

They say the drive back feels like less time because your brain isn’t taking mental pictures. Slow or fast time is only a perception. If you stared at a wall for four hours or rocked Rio,It passed the same regardless.

And boy did my body tell me that when I drove and was like  hey We should probably stop and walk around a bit…maybe eat something or whatever

And immediately thought 

Nah I’ll be fine we’re making great time 

I was a like one of those gargoyles on Draculas  castle 

No blood flow 

No life 

Just dead stone 

Like a present day statue of the American  tourists set in driving position. 
I could not walk.

But really. It was nice. We saw a lot of tourist. Ate a lot of food.Watched a lot of TV and I wrote poetry about everything else. . . 

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