The Wars are upon us.

So I guess this Star Wars thing is going to be around for a while. 

I heard that a guy actually legally changed his name to Darth Vader…

Can’t imagine what his Halloween costume is going to be for 2016….or any prospective children will be named ….

Christmas is over with 
So now 

Instead of reading 

The 12 or 30 days of Anna being greatful in your newsfeed …..

You get to read her resolutions 

And pictures of her food 

You know 

Just before she gets pregnant 

Which probably happened because 

Of  Steve’s gym selfies 

I mean 

That guy was working really hard 

He posted every day 

Can we talk about progress.


Seriously ….

I was at work the other day 

And someone asked me how I keep working around people for so long 

And I just said 

“Hey man, Donald Trump sends me motivational text messages through out the day ….” 

But I was only joking 

I’m still waiting on everyone in my newsfeed to tell me they too are only joking ….

Someone else posted lists from Google 
“The top states and what you googled …in 2015”

And it wasn’t too far from what we talk about everyday 



People names 

That start with the letter O

And I was like 


If you’re THIS stressed 

There has got to be another list 

Like I want to see the hidden list 

The one with that other word that starts with the letter O 

I live in Alabama 

We had the most names on the Ashley Madison thing 

I know I know we are incredibly 


But still 

There’s another list out there

I know it 

And so then they handed me 

Montana and their top search 


Way to keep it real Montana 

Thank you.

I went to a book store 


Did you know 

Coloring books are back 


Adult coloring books 

Not that I ever stopped coloring 

But damn 

I’ve been sitting around 

Coloring Dora 

And never knew 

I could be coloring Paris 


And lingerie ….

For real. 

I felt strange though 

I paid like 

10 to 16 bucks for them 

And I actually thought to myself 

When I was younger these things were only 2 bucks 

It’s funny the things you get excited about after you grow up 


Coffee makers 

Kitchen knives

Kitchen knife sharpners 

Kitchen knife sharpners 

That actually work 

A good nap 


Bath towels 




A good recipe 


Champagne is really good 

Beer is good 

But you feel bloated 

And weird after 

Vodka is good too 


Just really cranks in there 

Like a navy seal 


But champagne 

Walks in with lights 

And a red dress 

And it just seduces you 

It’s slower 

And you taste it 

Because it lingers 

You know 

Like  the internet 

And Star Wars 


That bad red Light 

But it’s ok 

Because champagne 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s