Ethan: well, you know, all the time…
Simon: All the time ?!!?
Ethan: well yeah.
Simon : I don’t know dad …I think your socks are pretty weird now. Are you leaving us for the circus?
Ethan: Not until after my year of fly fishing and camping.
Simon : What!
Ethan: Someone actually told me about hiking two miles …to …well, you know, camp and get alcohol today.
Simon : and??
Ethan: a two mile hike to get,is a five mile stumble and fall home.
Simon: why don’t we go ca-
Simon: But the tv makes it look…
Ethan: it’s not.
Simon: are you su-
Ethan: Scientific fact.
Simon: convince me.
Ethan: (((sighs))) I know I don’t look like it. But I went camping once. When I was very young. It was the first time I ate sunflower seeds. They asked me how they were…and I said…”they’re kind of crunchy.” I didn’t know I was supposed to spit the shell out.
Simon: Good job dad.
Ethan: anyway, I lost my fish…jumped in a lake after them…slept too close to the tent wall and got sick …ended up throwing up around 4am. Looking back…it probably was from jumping in the lake. A few years later I took my younger brother…he was into wilderness survival.
Simon: and that went better. Like in animal planet. Right?
Ethan: a tornado came by and it stormed. We built a fire. And cooked little tiny cans of deviled ham. Which taste a lot like something that would probably belong to the chum bucket. The wind was so bad that the smoke from the fire kept blowing all over us. When the tornado went by …we finally decided to go home…
I smelled of soot
My hands were burned.
I threw my clothes away and never went again.
Simon: Gee dad. That’s crazy. You should have brought a dog with you.
Ethan: I’m just saying. I’ll take drinking inside every time. There are very few things I’m going to hike two miles for….well….I don’t know.
Simon: milk bones
Simon: what if it felt more like a determined walk And less like a hike?
Simon: you guys are always so focused when we walk.
Ethan: ok ok. Take a picture for Mom.
Simon : picture time. Hello mom. We miss you.
Simon: You’ll send this one to Dogue, right?
Simon : what, it’s a thing dad.