Recently I had a mammoth sized clog in my kitchen sink. And by recently I mean – today – like, two hours ago. Actually, I am fairly certain the clog is still there.
Because I didn’t manage to get the thing.
And here is why
Usually I call maintenance to come fix things. Because it is their job and I don’t live in a home. So why would I try to break it further.
But this was just a clog,right?
I got this.
I was going to be cleaning. And I really really do mean clean. Not the other kind of clean, which ends with Meth. No matter how many chemicals you read from here on.
Only I noticed both kitchen sinks were blocked up. And had standing water. So I went and got some liquid Plummer. Because that’s what you’re supposed to do.
Only it didn’t work.
So I got more.
And when that didn’t work.
I remembered seeing someone plunge a sink in an old movie once…
Now, you know how sometimes you see things and think…I bet that’s not so bad. Or I could handle that.
Well. It is so bad and you can’t handle it.
My sink is a double sided Joan of Arc. She has more chemical stains than the Original CSI Lab Room.
And that was before what’s about to happen happened.
I managed to plunge it until I heard the water go down. And I let myself get really excited. Mistake number Uno. Because when I looked over I saw that all the water from the side I was plunging had migrated to the other side of the sink. Like, I hadn’t seen syphining like this since my dad showed us how to steal gasoline out of his old junk cars… I’m still not sure why we had to learn that actually. But I remember it involved putting your mouth on gasoline and I was not into it.
My sink on the other hand ….
Luckily, I got another idea. I plunged the opposite now full side. Which totally did nothing. The water just moved from sink to sink. Like I was the missing fourth stooge.
I’m all out of fucks at this point. I just plunge it out of one side and pour the powder Drano down the empty side.
Do not pour the powder Drano. It mixes with the liquid and you have a gas storm that burns all of your senses.
I took the plunge out.
Water starts going out of the sink. I had finally ….what the ??? …
The water was pouring out from under the sink. The pipe came off the bottom of the sink and flooded both sinkfulls of water and now mixed Drano all into the cabinet and floor.
Good thing no one ever keeps anything under their sink…
Like, dish washer pods. Or trash bags.
I just stood there. Water running into my shoes and under the fridge. I looked over to my dog Simon for support. Just in time to see him turn running into the bedroom as if to say, you’re on your own dad.
Many small passing minutes later and a lot of burning skin.
I had all of the drying done. One broke sink with a remaining clog.
I have no idea how but the funny thing is. The whole time I was working on this…I kept thinking man you’ve got to hurry so you can write this down.
So I hurried and called maintenance and asked them to come by in the morning and apologised for trying my best.
Then I took a nap and a really long shower.