Simon: Can we just get pizza?
Ethan: Chicken Biscuits will be fun. They’re Buffalo.
Simon: Blegh…like my dog food?
Ethan: No. Like …moms dip.
Simon: Oh boy.
Simon: Why don’t you just buy biscuits in the can?
Ethan: This will taste better. Trust me. I watched a lot of YouTube.
Simon: So what’s going on with the chicken… I don’t want to know…I’ve got biscuit watch.
Ethan: See, I like olive oil. It’s better than butter. And if you think people are crazy now, they took margarine to the Supreme Court. It was restricted for ages…
Simon: Dad. Dad. Daaad I think the biscuits are done.
Ethan: …smuggling across state lines. You’d have to check people’s lunches. Oh hey, I didn’t leave the oven lamp on. (Opens oven to reveal huge grease fire.)
Simon: Ahhhhhhhhh Fire !!! (Runs out of room)
Ethan: It’s ok I’ve got this. I just need my fire wielding glove.
Simon: All I could find was this Oven Mitt.
Ethan: I guess this’ll have to do. Now to get my salt. Where’s my big can of salt???? Sigh.. Maybe if I just throw it in the sink with all the water. No then it’ll burn the house down.
Simon: oh my god,dad!!!
Ethan: I guess I could toss it in the dumpster. But that will just start a dumpster fire…they would probably link the pan back to me anyway. ‘I was out walking my dog.’ Probably wouldn’t work as an alibi.
Simon: We’re gonna die!
Ethan: That’s ok…I’ll just use this little salt shaker. ..come on you stupid fire. This doesn’t take longer at all. See, it’s ok Simon. Hey,you know what’s really good? Chicken salad.
