Ethan: Hello, wife. Woman that I love. Mother to our beautiful pack.
L: Did you stop up the toilet again? Babe! Squares of toilet paper. Not pillows!
Ethan: No…but your info is noted. You will be happy to know. I learned something new about our dog. Simon.
L: What?
Ethan: Last night, I put up his food bowls, you know, to clean stuff.
L: and??
Ethan: Apparently, Sleeping Beauty likes to get up for midnight snacks.
L: How do you know that?
Ethan: He woke me up. Big eyes panicking. “Dad!! We’ve been burglarized! Come quick!” Took me straight to the empty spot in the floor. Just stared at it like a big dope. 1 in the A.M. I was like, sure Simon. Because your food is on the black markets top ten hot items.
Simon : hey, dad. Do you think this makes me look fat?