Ethan: Hello, wife. Woman that I love. Mother to our beautiful pack. 

L: Did you stop up the toilet again? Babe! Squares of toilet paper. Not pillows! 

Ethan: No…but your info is noted. You will be happy to know. I learned something new about our dog. Simon. 

L: What? 

Ethan: Last night, I put up his food bowls, you know, to clean stuff.  

L: and??

Ethan: Apparently, Sleeping Beauty likes to get up for midnight snacks.

L: How do you know that?

Ethan: He woke me up. Big eyes panicking. “Dad!! We’ve been burglarized! Come quick!” Took me straight to the empty spot in the floor. Just stared at it like a big dope. 1 in the A.M.  I was like, sure Simon. Because your food is on the black markets top ten hot items. 
Simon : hey, dad. Do you think this makes me look fat?  

 
Ethan: Yes.Yes I do.