The one about Stranger Things

I tried to write this as humorously as possible

It’s been a crazy week hasn’t it.

Kind of makes you wish you were still in 2016 just crying everyday over a new celebrity death. 

 I mean really. I know why they could only take aerial photos of the inauguration. All the cameras were at protest rallies. 

They’re so many. 

And if it were a Democrat in office. Everyone would be whispering “shhh calm down.” To their neighbours. Because this is the kind of behaviour that gets you martial law. 

But hell 

I bet the Republican does it first .

These are crazy times 

I’m not gonna lie 

Even comedians at this point are like “I got nothing man.” 

Everything is happening so fast 

And reality is stranger than fiction 

And then they told us that there is alternative fiction – which is actually – reality. 

I thought they meant Donald Trump had published his Twitter Feed and all of those executive orders were just book signings. I swear at one point I said…

“I’ve read that one. You remember it on his marketing campaign, the one with walls and hand gestures and then those  chapters with the pussy.”

I don’t even know where to begin 

I mean honestly 

This is really happening …

You can’t get upset about everything that’s what got us into this – crying and whining and trying to please everyone – apologising

Meanwhile a mad man closed the golden gates and replaced it with a golden Tower stamped with his name 

But hey, what did his voters say? What was that? 

“He doesn’t apologise. He says what he means”  I mean there weren’t that many of them. 

But don’t tell them that. 

They only watch “Faux” News 

So they genuinely believe they had a massive,historical,huge voter and inaugural turnout 

We could probably learn something from that. Kind of like when you were in high school, and the girl went for some other guy and you were like …”but why??”

And she said ” he doesn’t apologize” we all know she felt differently years later when he hit her but still…

Forget about it 

I was homeschooled 

I was outside holding up leaves saying 

“Look what Jesus did.” 

I don’t know anything about high school 

What I’m saying is we’ve got work to do. 

The south generally likes to think of our country as a “Christian nation.” 

We’ve made great leaps 

thank you Obama 

We don’t teach “abstinence only”

In schools anymore 

And generally we all are open minded – we changed our minds about things and we all are very much progressive.

Because since when is withholding 

Information a good idea or road to understanding …

Oh yeah. Sorry EPA and Science community. You guys can just buff out these scars on the earth in four years right? Just throw some Miracle Grow  on it or something??

Yeah

I am all for rebuilding our infrastructure- it’s not like it wasn’t on Obama’s list of things to do though.  And even tuning up healthcare but hey some of these methods are insane 

Just imagine if the numbers of people who will be without healthcare-and likely die- were going to be without guns instead …

Republicans would dig up Ronald Reagan (he would be surprised by their affinity for Russia) and use his bones for witch craft. The protest would be over night. 

But guns aren’t on the table 

Just human lives 

But they’ve already been “born” so fuck them.

We’re not pro life 

Just postponed abortion 

We’ll give you 18 years and then give you a gun and send you off to war. 

Which brings us to freedom of religion 

Which also, means

Freedom from your religion 

If you want to tell me how we are a Christian only nation 

And immigrants are taking our jobs 

And it’s unsafe 

I’ll tell you your church is a cult 

Your children believe in a flat earth 

And careful, or your kid might get sex – ed  from children’s church 

But they won’t know what’s happening because hey, you just taught abstinence 

You didn’t actually give them information about their body or the science of sex 

 We’re all about going out 

Into the world 

Out there 

It’s the great commission right?

You would think at some point we would stop at the airport 

And notice the refugees 

And say

“You know what? I think it might be easier if we just stay here instead. Maybe open these gates a little wider. Help them learn English and get a job.” 

But we don’t do that 

Instead we make fun of their struggling second third or fourth language to our barely Uno 

And we campaign for a sadistic 

Racist

Sexist 

Xenophobic 

White man 

And then go to mission training programs 

Because that’s what Jesus would do…

The fact is 

We only love you 

If you stay over there 

Go back to Syria 

We don’t want your war torn hands 

On our church basketball court

We’ll send you a shoe box and a bible 

And make sure to make you pray to Jesus because that’s the most important thing 

We have a lot of learning to do 

At the end of the day 

If anything 

For the white ones of us 

We will learn 

To wake up

we have a civil duty 

We have to defend these liberties 

We can lose these 

We are a free society 

And we want you to be able to read your Muslim books on our planes 

And have a job 

And pray to whatever god you want 

Why? 

Because you become better doctors 

Better citizens 

And better scientists 

You know things that will be written 

That I need to read 

Why?

Because you CHOSE to come here 

Me?

I was just born here.

We will make it through this 

But a lot of us might not live through this 

And regardless 

Even if this is a good administration 

It won’t erase what it was run under 

And we won’t ever forget how it was defended 

And it won’t erase 

The fact that we made excuses 

For Syria 

And Syria could be any of us 

Syria doesn’t exist 

It’s gone 

There’s nothing to go back to 

In today’s climate 

Any one man government 

Can end the world for a nation 

Or the world 

Syria can be any of us 

It’s a crazy year 

And it’s just begun 

But hey 

The majority of us 

Are open minded 

Critical thinking people

And we want the best 

For everyone 

And we want them to have 

Opportunity 

And equality 

And freedom 

Because 

We are a melting pot