In case you haven’t felt
Your age lately
Grab on to your cane
There are grandparents who identify as 90s kids
There are parents who were born in the year 2000
You may not be able to tell a kid about a time without electricity,but you can tell them about a time before everyone had access to the internet.
they will consider you old for this
A kid born in 2000 will never have trouble remembering their age-if they do,punch them for it.
Any music earlier than 2009 is old to any teenager today.
Drunk sex.
Writer’s friend Arthur,
As in Arthritis.
Taxes
Running out of sponges
Wanting bacon but not wanting to clean up the kitchen after
lactose
Crohn’s
Epilepsy
Rejection letters
Things that don’t suck….
Sober sex.
Coffee.
Reading.
Writing a pro\con list without involving world news or politics.
Fiction.
Poetry.
History.
Naps
Pizza
Baths
(How to properly take a bath. For anyone born after 2000. Take shower. Make sure you’re clean. Run hot bath with bath salts and lavender. Light candles. Bring a book, podcast, or your naked wife into bath with you.
P.S. if your phone is plugged into charger do NOT bring it into bath you WILL DIE.)
Breakfast
Pancakes
Random makeout sessions
My wife in high heels
My wife in anything
My wife in nothing
Stationary
Post cards
Ink pens
Old typewriters
Hard sole shoes
Hot chocolate
Glasses
Watches
Ties
Goofie socks
Cheesecake
September
The Beach
Handwritten letters
Stamps
Book stores
Dogs
Regarding Samuel 