Things that suck 

In case you haven’t felt 

Your age lately 

Grab on to your cane 

There are grandparents who identify as 90s kids 

There are parents who were born in the year 2000 

You may not be able to tell a kid about a time without electricity,but you can tell them about a time before everyone had access to the internet. 

they will consider you old for this 

A kid born in 2000 will never have trouble remembering their age-if they do,punch them for it. 

Any music earlier than 2009 is old to any teenager today. 

Drunk sex.

Writer’s friend Arthur, 

As in  Arthritis.

Taxes

Running out of sponges 

Wanting bacon but not wanting to clean up the kitchen after 

lactose 

Crohn’s 

Epilepsy 

Rejection letters

Things that don’t suck….

Sober sex.

Coffee. 

Reading.

Writing a pro\con list without involving world news or politics. 

Fiction. 

Poetry. 

History. 

Naps 

Pizza 

Baths 

(How to properly take a bath. For anyone born after 2000.  Take shower. Make sure you’re clean. Run hot bath with bath salts and lavender. Light candles. Bring a book, podcast, or your naked wife into bath with you.

P.S. if your phone is plugged into charger do NOT bring it into bath you WILL DIE.)

Breakfast

Pancakes 

Random makeout sessions 

My wife in high heels 

My wife in anything 

My wife in nothing 

Stationary 

Post cards 

Ink pens 

Old typewriters 

Hard sole shoes 

Hot chocolate 

Glasses 

Watches 

Ties

Goofie socks 

Cheesecake 

September 

The Beach 

Handwritten letters 

Stamps 

Book stores 

Dogs 

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s