Talks with Women #7

Ethan: How has life changed since you became a mom?

(Photo by ethan bethune) 

Jessica: Well, it’s definitely been life changing. I went from being so care free and confident to lonely, insecure, and constantly worrying about how others looked at me. Motherhood is a beautiful thing. You get this mini human who you love more than anything in this world and would do anything for. It is a love you don’t  even understand. But a lot of people don’t see that. All they see is whether or not you breastfeed or formula feed, etc. A big comparison game begins, like new mom’s already don’t have it hard enough, here comes everyone judging you. I’ve learned to move past this, but it took me over a year. Motherhood is hard to explain because it’s the most joyous part of your life, yet the hardest part, mentally exhausting.

Ethan: How do you balance time for yourself and being a wife and a mother? 

Jessica: This is a tough one. I get up before my son in the mornings, and drink coffee, read, and workout. That’s my ME time, and it’s so important. For the longest time I never gave that to myself, and I was miserable, but I didn’t know any better in a sense. I thought that driving yourself into the ground was just part of motherhood. It didn’t help I was a perfectionist wanting everything to be perfect. I literally would FREAK out if a dish landed in the sink. 
(Photo by ethan bethune) 

Spending time with my husband can be difficult. He works 3rd, so our schedules are opposite, plus he works ALL of the time, but we do what we can. Friday’s my son goes to school, so we usually dedicate the morning to us until he has to go to bed. Saturday’s he almost never goes to bed to spend time with us. I’m not going to lie, I have failed my family lately in time management. When I began my coaching journey a couple of months back I was constantly on my phone! I was in fact dedicating more time to the coaching business than my family. I have improved though, with setting “work hours”” aka my son’s nap time. I try to double check everything before bed and call it a day. 

When I’m not cooking or doing household chores, I play with my son. We build things, we read, we go outside. We enjoy trips to the park and splash pad. I’m also in a mom group to schedule play dates. I have bad days like any parent where I’ll turn the TV on, just so I can get extra things done around the house, but for the most part I find making time for my son easy, because he loves to play, and I guess it brings out my inner child which makes me joyous.

I’m also reading a book on how to schedule dates for hubby and wife. Like making it a point to hang out, Because we struggle with it! 

Ethan: Tell me more about your health and fitness coaching 

Jessica: I’ve only been a coach about three months, and it’s been nothing but uplifting. I’m enjoying learning about others and their goals and working together to reach those goals! I was so scared to jump in the coaching world, but I have great desire to show women that it’s okay to take care of yourself. We often forget how to, or that’s what happened to me anyways.

I neglected myself for so long I was falling into a state of depression. I had been there before with the meds, etc, and knew that’s not the life I wanted. I started working out to keep my mind occupied. I had no idea it would change my life. Before I knew it, I had finished a program, and I felt accomplished for the first time in a really long time. I kept it up and felt better mentally and physically each day. I know now that I’m worth a little me time. Instead of focusing on everyone else all of the time, I think about me too. I’m happier all the way around and it has made me a better Mom and wife. No, I don’t have all of my shit together, but I’m trying, and I hope other ladies see that through me. That it’s okay to be a work in progress and to love yourself. 

Ethan: You mentioned you like art festivals…

Jessica: Relaxation…

I know this sounds like work and not relaxing, but I enjoy drinking beer in the sun and redoing furniture. I find it very therapeutic. Planting and caring for flowers is also therapeutic. I hope to become a decent gardener next summer. I only did herbs and flowers this year. I also love looking at others creations. That’s why I enjoy festivals with all of the arts and crafts. It shows who the people are. It fascinates me, really…people just making stuff and putting it out there for the world to see in hopes the world likes it. It’s bold and it is beautiful.

I love the beach and beer. That is true relaxation…my husband and I haven’t been to the beach yet with a kid, so I can only imagine it’s not as relaxing haha. 

Ethan: Thanks so much for doing this Jessica. 

Jessica: Absolutely! (Photo origin, Jessica) 

Jessica is a health and fitness coach, wife and mom, lover of flowers and Coffee fanatic. She lives in Alabama. 

You can follow her journey Here 

it’s okay to be a work in progress and to love yourself. ” 

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