Mr Responsible 

Growing up is weird. You’ve spent your entire childhood being told to  go outside! Don’t sit in front of the TV!  Do something productive! Now you’re an adult, you’ve paid your bills, you’ve got your groceries, going OUTSIDE costs money…it flips. The responsible, Productive thing becomes staying inside and watching Netflix. Hey, you paid the bill. It’s ok. If you go outside it’s going to cost you three months of Netflix…

And face it, if you go outside and play with a stick and climb on swing sets you just end up in prison.

I struggle with this all of the time. I feel like I should be doing something… if I’m reading I feel like I should be writing, or cleaning, or going out and  doing the mysterious Productive…

My wife is always reminding me, it’s ok to sit down and relax. Cook inside, work-out inside and being Productive is taking on a whole new meaning as an adult. Just don’t be TOO productive…

Hey, it’s not my fault the price of college increased over 500 percent and text books shot up 1000 percent since the ’70s. How can you afford college for your kid? You can’t even afford it for yourself!

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m just a really young old man. I’m not going to have any more apps on my phone. I’m not learning another techno gadget. I can’t- I’m out and not in a good way. I don’t have anymore energy to learn another word processor or app. 

Face it. The only reason FB is still here is because it’s integrated itself within our lives, like Kudzu. Or that third wheeling friend that shows up in all of your photos but you’re  not really sure when you became close. You use fb to sign in and out of everything. It forced you into a marriage you’re not that proud of. And it knows all of your dirt. 

I don’t even have Snapchat. I deleted it for storage space. Why do I need an app that allows me to send text and pictures? Don’t I do that with messenger and my phone already? 

Remember Skype? Whatever happened to that poor thing? Somewhere out there is a little green light saying you’re logged on. It’s just hoping you’ll come back. Also, it probably still has all of those messages you forgot to delete from drunken frat houses. 

Which is probably why someone created Snapchat. . . 

These days we have to constantly upgrade and relearn everything every other  year. I don’t ask for much… just a nice laptop, like a Dell. Remember those? One that will outlive the expiration date on the credit card I used to pay for it. 


A picture of my much older self…

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