December (2019)

Maybe it’s a gut punch





Do you even taste victory ?

Thorn in my side –

I don’t look for permanence

I don’t look for needle & thread to bring about some kind of strand for hope

I fight to live

My best life

Every day

I play the cards I’ve been dealt

Like it’s the ones I wanted


Gut punch

Hand down my throat

Just to find release

I can’t even sleep


I’ve changed…


Dark earth

I can feel myself getting bad again…

The heart breaks

And it leaves its shadowed scar over my skin…

I wake up and for a moment

I’m cut open again

All of my pain

The flame

Is burning in my gut again

I close my eyes

And my breath is short

My throat is dry

And I’m held down

Swallowing the tube again

Pump this broken heart

Cut it out

I don’t want this

Take this from me


Gut punch

You start to live with purpose and intention

I’m not supposed to even be here…

you hold to things loosely

So you continue to grow…

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