2020 #45

I just want to be good…

All my cards are on the table

No one is going to bail me out

If I don’t make it

It’s easy to say there’s more to life than money

When you haven’t been without it

The enemy of good is perfect

What’s the use

I wear this bruise

Can I make it through

I’m dreaming out loud

I’m running t

Who are the ones

Who made promises

Out there late at night

That they would get out

And those friends are gone now

Who else is running

A race

For their younger self

For their friends that are already dead

Even though

They will never see them

Cross the finish line

Do you know the pain

I carry every single day

Do you know

That emptiness

How low those roots go

Maybe

We really can have too much

Maybe

We just pack ourselves with light

And distraction

Maybe

Poverty

Real poverty

Leaves a scar

I remember potatoes

Every winter breeze through the window

Maybe there’s a kid over there

Who knows about playing football

On a frozen driveway

Maybe

I keep putting things off

And I’m afraid

And

When it’s late at night

I pour a drink

And I see her eyes

In the stars in the sky

And I’m afraid

Of what I feel

I write some words

And I send them her way

All I have is empathy

All I have is poetry

All I know

Is how to be me

All I know is

Time is running

I am running

But remember

There’s a kid out there

Who’s going to see your story

There’s a kid out there

Living something similar

You’re not alone in this

You can’t do what everyone else is doing

We live in a do what feels right

Do what feels good in the moment

But that’s what children do

We are not children

We come from adults

We have witness in heaven

And we plan

We make goals

We have a personal responsibility

To ourselves

To our communities

To our dreams

No one else will get it

They don’t have to

It’s not my parents fault

It’s not anyone’s fault

I’m just tired of kissing up to banks

For credit

I’m tired of living a life that is not mine

I’m tired of sitting in crowds of people

That are always looking for the next feel good drag.

I’m going somewhere

I know what I want

I want peace

I want comfort

I want freedom

I want passion

I want love

I want to be better than I was yesterday

Better than I was last year

There is a line that only loss

Writes

And I carry it with me

Like a rose

Regardingsamuel

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