Haunted October (quiet)

– I’m not happy

She said it quietly, almost as if to herself more than to me or in conversation.

– You’re not ?

– No I’m not. I’ve not been for sometime. When we are together, which is rare, all I do is cry. And we fight. Or he’s not even there at all. There’s nothing worse than feeling invisible. Hollowed out. I’m more than a face, you know? I’m so much more than that.

– What are you going to do?

— shit. Shit shit shit. I just want to be desired. I want someone to think of me first thing in the morning and just before they go to sleep. I want to be desired. Not taken for granted. Not assumed. Not controlled. Just ….desired. You know what I mean right?

– Hey, you’re fine. Everyone wants a poets gaze but,

– Without the poet.

She lit a cigarette

I poured another drink

Neither of us knew what we were going to do….

I looked out the window

It was raining

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