Long roads

And here it is
Like a service station
Closed on the side of the road
No longer listed on the map
What is that?
Navigation
Does it really care about us?
——-
She keeps all the rolls from the restaurant in her purse
She’s trying to be frugal
She’s trying to be the good new wife
And
He’s rubbing penny stocks together
Hoping for a miracle
And you can’t stay here anymore
——
Dividing up the memory between us …
She wants rough sex
Dirty texts
Not rough memories
And dirty men…
——
What’s become of us…
——
What about us…
——-
And he said
Sex will make you do things you never thought you would do…
Make you stay when you should go…
But we all have a ways to go…
——
And I said
I’m afraid I will never be patient again …
—-
And she keeps trying
——
And I wake up again…
I can’t sleep
Anymore
I’m writing it out
Getting it down…
But I can’t write you a letter now …
——
And
—-
She wants to sleep in
But even if we had millions
We couldn’t sleep in
While someone made decisions about our future somewhere out there
And dreams collapse
And you can’t handle that
We all have ideas
That we are a great love
But we can’t handle our own love …
And if I had to live with myself
Receive the love I give
Would I be enough?
Everyone has an idea
But what is any of this
—-
Someone said “as long as they cook and clean…”
I said
I can do those things
I’ve been doing it since I was 17
We were out
And I feel like I lost touch with parts of myself
And I don’t know what to do with time….
Look at these ruins…

-E

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