Living with crohns
Is like well, yeah.
But I’m thankful that I’ve made it this far.
That I’ve been able to keep working
That I’ve not had a flare so bad I was forced to stay home or go to the hospital
Or pass blood
Or any other number of things that are far too gross to go in to detail about…
I don’t have insurance right now
I can’t take medicine right now because of that…
So I’m thankful
That I’m able to keep working
Towards my goals ….
For all the good.
For the mornings
I’m thankful for the beauty
And if I’ve been harsh
Or fixed in my vision
I often feel the need to apologise
I think I will always be hungry
I will always be chasing
I’m not the same as
Other people I’ve known
And I’m at a pivotal moment in my life
Other people want to buy cars
I just want food
And to invest in something that will grow
Not buy a car….
My hope is that my future self
Will be thankful too
That my future self will be proud.
I went to Cleveland to make contacts
In six months I could be anywhere.
Making more money than I’ve ever seen.
But this morning I counted out four dollars in change to get gas.
I think it’s important to remember where you came from.
I remember working with my dad when I was six. We would get up early in the morning and go sell produce. You could smell the corn and the tomatoes and the watermelons. We cut grass and we sold tools. We did whatever we could.
I remember going to food banks and the cans had government labels on them. They were not attractive or marketable. They were blank. Bland colours.
We pretended we were soldiers and it was our rations.
I keep remembering all of these things from the past…
And I’m just thankful.
That I’ve made it this far.
No matter what happens.