if beige was a feeling

I wonder what the news will bring today?

Everyone is going to need something to write , something to sell…
I wonder if we will be ok
Every one of us has lost someone
we love
That love
That time
Our hearts so young
Remember us hitting on all the nurses and doctors while they were in school?
Praising them when they graduated
These days
Our eyes
Are gray

– if beige was a feeling,
she says…
And we think we know better
While we had kids and loans and homes
They studied and wrote journals
for decades
And I took a chance
Burnt out
I rolled the dice
And I made it
But I don’t feel anything, these days
Are so long
The heart can only stand so much pain

– We can talk about anything but covid, I’m living it.
She says …
We are like veterans from war
Eyes fixed
Killing whatever was left inside
Life is easier once you realize you’re already dead…
No one ever realizing what we’ve seen
What she’s seen every single day
While we endlessly scroll
And she cries in my arms
Because there’s too much loss
Too much death
And she feels like a car hop because of politics and administration
And there’s no beds
There’s never enough
And never a break
And everyone thinks they know
But it’s too much
And it’s the same day every day
And it’s not what it once was
Added to the struggle of an everyday life
How are we supposed to be ok
After this?
After we ghost ourselves
Do we know what we will become
And a kid cries because
They think they killed their parents
I wonder what we will become after this
I wonder what the news brings today
I wonder what we will do after this
And I wonder if we will ever feel again…


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