The lights of the evening sunset, run across my car as I drive down 280 in this, a concrete city… a city that was called a magic city…
Only now it’s beginning to rain…
The colours run…
We vacationed in lieu of breaking up …
That’s what I think I wrote somewhere …
Channeling Didion… “in lieu of divorce…“
We went swimming in the ocean
We went swimming in heated pools
In ice cold pools
The sun and the sand burned our skin
The riptide and current and salt
The pools
Cooled us down in the evening
I didn’t drink
I am still sober here
I am trying here
Trying not to run
Trying to face something
The thing inside myself
The fear outside myself
I am trying to write again
A true sentence
Without delusion
Just a truth …
We stand on the outer edges
Looking in
On ourselves
Waiting on a drop
An echo of cutlery on the floor
A raised voice
A shadow of something we’ve thought we’ve seen before
A reason to leave
To return to familiar loneliness
To return to something else
I am 32 here
Soon to be a father
What will my son learn from me?
What did I learn from my father?
Without trying ?
Between the spaces ?
Between the sentences ?
The silent places …
Let there be a hope
A space for truth
A space for patience
Let there be a space for love
For love
For courage
Don’t fall with me
Don’t
Just stand
In this silence
The beating heart
Words on paper
Light in sunset
Across June
32
Becomes time
Time is fleeting …
Oh son …
We are not infinite
We don’t get all things back
We try to stand cautiously or chaotically
Live live live they say…
Or fear fear fear
Even trying not to make a mistake – you will…
And trying to live as tho you want to drink every wine …you will be drunk and lose the moment and memory…
Just stand patiently and be prepared for opportunity …
And ride with the sunset…
Know who you are…
Know who you are
-E
Regarding Samuel 