Beagle in the City #163

Ethan: it’s almost your birthday. You won’t be a puppy anymore. You’ll be two. What are your plans? You’re not going to move out or anything? Smoke some cigars, borrow the car…

Simon: I’ve decided to grow a beard, dad. Check it out. I’m way more serious now. Do you see it?

Ethan: What? Who’s this old dog talking to me? Where is Simon? My puppy?

Simon: Dad.

Ethan: What have you done?? Who are you?

Cold #3 

The girl was there in the floor. Cold and lifeless.  Her limbs spread like wet pasta. Her eyes open and grey. 

Agent Baldwin walked through the house. His clothes wrinkled. He had grabbed whatever happened to be laying across a chair in the middle of the night, when he got the call. 

“What’s the story, Sarah?” He asked while rubbing his eyes. 

Sarah just looked at him. 

– how long do you have? 

She asked. 

– I’ve got a female adult body. With no markings of any kind, dead in her own home with no signs of breaking or entering. More than that…

She stood up and stood closer. Whispering while looking straight ahead. 

– I’ve got three more bodies from across the county.  All the same.  

– shit. 

Baldwin took his phone. And texted Janice. 

– I’ll get Janice on it. I better bring her some chocolate cake for this one. 

– you’d better add beer and pizza 

Sarah said dryly. 

– it’s going to be a long summer. I hope you already got your PTO in. 

Beagle in the City #162

Blaster: Well, I’ve had a pretty eventful week. Just the other day, my hip went out, so I had to get up and change sides of the porch to sleep on. 

Ethan: Why didn’t you just roll over?

Blaster: That explains a lot of things. You’re a smart man. 

Blaster: What about you?

Ethan: Hmm, well, I discovered bucketless Pine Sol. It’s fantastic. And my floors look like they belong in Chatsworth. But that’s probably just me.  

Blaster: Boy,that’s just depressing. A hooman with a license a phone and a car…I get better stories from the Up man.

Ethan: The up man?

Blaster: yeah, he drives a truck with his name on it. UPS.  I’m like what up, ups. It’s his secret name though. He really brings us treats that are so good you have to sign for them. But you didn’t hear it from me. 

Cold #2

The bell jingled for the third time. Elisabeth sat up in bed.

 “Lou Lou?” 

It was a little girl’s  voice.  

She fumbled in the darkness to check her phone. 3am …

The hallway was pitch black and felt longer and colder…

The bell jingled again. 

“Lou Lou.” 

There in the darkness at the end of the hall. Was a little girl …

She tried to breathe…she didn’t have children… and she didn’t babysit…

The girl just stood there

That’s when elisabeth saw the dark figure behind the girl. It’s big eyes 

And smiling face. 

The clown holding a bell and a knife 

“Lou Lou” It said. 

The girl laughed

Elisabeth grabbed the wall looking behind her. 

“Lou Lou.” 

The little girl laughed again.

And the bell rang one last time.

Beagle in the City #161

Simon:  My Mom is the best at naps. Sometimes, I try and beat her at it, but I get distracted a lot. She doesn’t even move when I touch her shoulder, like I do with dad. She must have practiced so hard. 

Every morning, she takes hair from my tail, and messes with dad. That’s when he slaps his face in his sleep. I try and fight her off. But then we fight the mighty snake dragon…with its five shiny heads. Just when I almost get it…it changes back to her hand. I think she’s a magician. 

She has the best dog friends, 

I’m so glad she got me from the shelter…

Little Bit: And that Vet, they wanted to give me the Senior Physical. Can you believe that, I’m just a puppy. How long have we known each other? Ten years? Seven years? Really,  I am astonished. And they call themselves professionals. Hey, Simon, look at that rabbit. Do you have those in the City? 

 I Don’t know why you got this little beagle. He’s so annoying  and he never listens. He doesn’t even chase rabbits. Just stands out there smelling flowers. 

Simon: Are you a flower? I’m a beagle.  

Little Bit: But I guess he’s ok. And your guy is ok too. He has a nice beard. And it’s nice when he sings to me.  As long as you’re happy. And remember, you’re always my girl. 

Happy Mother’s Day. 

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