Virgo

It’s Virgo season and the urge to disappear and ghost everyone and everything is especially strong…

So I did.

I deleted snap chat

All my social media

Now I just have this and patreon and it’s freeing

I had felt this pressure to only create in a certain way…

And FB is consistently deleting content

For example I joked about not being able to trust a fart since 2009 because of crohns and how people are always like “yeah I have the ibd too.” And I’m like, if you can fart comfortably you don’t know how good you have it.

FB said it was inappropriate

On top of the logging in everyday just to see that three more people have died from the Covid it just wasn’t a good time anymore…

I may try and start a YouTube channel for spoken word

I’m not sure just yet

Lens (our times)

I ask myself …

How much do we owe the past?

Source unknown

We look at our times through an instagram lens

As though we are the first to feel such pain and ask such questions …

To feel the enormous task of responsibility before us ….

There is a certain amount of gratitude owed here…

It was only 70 years ago

40 years ago

20 years ago

It was a lifetime ago and only yesterday …

I’ve asked myself if I should keep a journal, surely I won’t forget these times …

But how much have we already forgotten…

D Day had a loss of 4K plus

Filmmakers documented it and couldn’t even show the footage, it was too graphic and too painful ….

Those who came before us

Sacrificed so much …

Believing that if tyranny ever repeated itself …civilization could not survive it…

We owe it to the past

To ourselves

To take ourselves and our communities seriously…

To tell these stories and remember …

if beige was a feeling

I wonder what the news will bring today?

Everyone is going to need something to write , something to sell…
I wonder if we will be ok
And
Every one of us has lost someone
we love
That love
That time
Our hearts so young
Remember us hitting on all the nurses and doctors while they were in school?
Praising them when they graduated
These days
Our eyes
Are gray

– if beige was a feeling,
she says…
And we think we know better
While we had kids and loans and homes
They studied and wrote journals
for decades
And I took a chance
Burnt out
I rolled the dice
And I made it
But I don’t feel anything, these days
Are so long
The heart can only stand so much pain

– We can talk about anything but covid, I’m living it.
She says …
We are like veterans from war
Eyes fixed
Killing whatever was left inside
Life is easier once you realize you’re already dead…
No one ever realizing what we’ve seen
What she’s seen every single day
While we endlessly scroll
And she cries in my arms
Because there’s too much loss
Too much death
And she feels like a car hop because of politics and administration
And there’s no beds
There’s never enough
And never a break
And everyone thinks they know
But it’s too much
And it’s the same day every day
And it’s not what it once was
Added to the struggle of an everyday life
How are we supposed to be ok
After this?
After we ghost ourselves
Do we know what we will become
And a kid cries because
They think they killed their parents
And
I wonder what we will become after this
I wonder what the news brings today
And
I wonder what we will do after this
And I wonder if we will ever feel again…

-E
Regardingsamuel.com

Why I’m leaving social media

UPDATE

I’ve always believed in creating a safe space where everyone and anyone
is welcome to escape and read
Be encouraged or cry and learn…
An ad free space (until this year) at Regardingsamuel.com
I always thought about our library trips growing up and wanted to re create that feeling.

After several weeks of considering my options and goals with several friends and reading several articles from other artist…

I’m announcing my departure from all platforms of social media starting in September.
This will include but not be limited to
Fb, instagram and twitter.

While I’ve utilized free platforms (as far back as tumblr)

It’s just not the same tool box anymore…

I find myself in this rat race to create and post everyday, just to keep up and stay relevant along with marketing myself, only to still get lost in an algorithm and many of my posts don’t even get seen by my oldest regular followers anymore.

It used to be a library of sorts and now it’s just a sand storm of too much information…

I’m actually late to the exodus…
Many, many other artist, poets and writers have quietly gathered their things and left these platforms sometime ago.

You can’t use the algorithm to fight the algorithm…you will always lose…

We are the product in social media…not our art..

YOU CAN FIND ME

I will still be on patreon
Making videos and photos
And notes
You can subscribe for the price of a cup of coffee …and there will be the occasional free content there as well.

And as always I will still be at home
At Regardingsamuel.com
Endeavoring to build a safe space
And hopefully in the near future
An ad free space again.

As always,
Be kind.
And make your art
Make good art
What else is there?

Yours
Sincerely,

Ethan Samuel Bethune

Get gone

Come on back
To the outside of town
Where the dust and the earth and the moon get down …
Get gone now, past the interstate
The city lights
The on ramp
The mile marker
My hometown
My big mistake
God only knows
We’ve been working hard
Forever now…
Sinful as they come
Can I lay down with you,
I don’t have time
To carry all this hate
Got to lay it down
Got to lay it down
Got to get gone now
Got to get away …
——
We’ve got to lay it down
We’ve got to drive it out
Past the interstate
Further on out
Where the dust and the earth and the moon get down…

-E
Regardingsamuel.com

Supernova ( ninety nine times nine)

Black Holes, it’s said, are not empty space, but rather so much matter packed into a small space, that it creates a gravitational pull so strong that even light itself can’t escape…

Maybe this is why you feel so locked in…you’re not a shell…you’re still you…

These are created when a massive star dies…the ghost remnant core remains and it pauses while collapsing…here…time stands still…

You’re not something else just because you’re depressed

Just because you’re frozen in an event …

You’re still you

You’re still light …

These

greatly influence the neighborhoods around them

If a normal star passes by and is touched by the gravitational pull

It can tear itself apart…emitting gamma rays into space…

This can dramatically create new,

or even stall the growth of,

Or devour surrounding stars …

This is why

I believe we are not as we are told…

You are not weak

You are overwhelmed

We are after all, light and made of star stuff…

Please know…

It’s only that we are packing so much information in small spaces,

Like trying to fit the moon and the sun times ninety nine and nine in our eyes and hearts …

We can’t beat on like that …without erupting…into a supernova

It’s devouring us

It’s inspiring us

It’s stalling us

Unplug

You don’t have to

Take it all in

All the hurt

All the pain

All the world over

Come back

To

The stars

Come back to yourself

You are heat

You matter

You bring your own light

You influence those around you

You touch more than you know

You matter

You matter

It’s ok to pause

You’re still you

And you make time pause

Because you’re older and larger

Than anything we’ve known

Even the universe has to pause just to take you in…

-E

Regardingsamuel.com