We are all living on the edge of the day
Out here
It’s what we know
If something good
This way should come
Would we even be able to get up to get it
We can’t even afford to make the break
For something better
What gold dust promise
Did they feed you
To put your mind to rest in the night
Under class
Coming in last
What broken bones
Did you learn to walk on
What pain did you put at the back of your mind
We grew up at the back of the line
We’ve always been
On welfare
We’ve always been waiting
For another
Just one more
Next time will be better
Next love
Next job
Next life
Paradise is out – there
If help is out there
It’s too too late
All the power is off
All the food is gone
All the ills
And bills are due
All the panic is strong
All the history is gone
Does it look good on you?
They want you to stay quiet
But your words are all you’ve got
If I should fade
It’s all I’ve got
I’m leaving
I’m out of ideas
My weight left in the night
I’m not even hungry
I tried to get out
But you can’t even make the break
You’re so far behind
They shoot you at the gate
You try
There’s nothing to fall back on
My pulse is gone
My mind is fog
My heart is ash
My tongue is cut out
My blood is cold
It never let’s go
It never lets go
It never lets go

The last line

There was evil, and there was memory and who knows when you first meet either of the two. He knew he saw her standing in the woods in the dark when he was little. Her black dress…long hands…

That was when he saw the lights in the sky.

He saw her again when he was house sitting for his grandfather after his grandmother died. He could hear her long dress moving through the hall at night. Always just catching a glimpse of her entering the rooms.

The night his father died, he saw her through the window, sitting in the rocker. He knew then he had passed.

Maybe it was when he drove the long drive to his father in law to tell him he couldn’t love his daughter anymore…

He saw her then…

He kept hearing the words

Sick in the stomach

Weights around his neck

“You’re not the victim here, if you do this, it will end in destruction, you’re on a dangerous road.”

“He’s just lost. He’s lost.”

He sees her now, every night. In his door. Just like he did before…

She just stands there and then floats away. Sucking all of the light and air out of the room.

Who knows when you meet evil…

There was also a different figure

Blonde red hair

Blue eyes like stars

And fire wings

She was there when he had a seizure in a ditch

She was there, reading, when he was in the hospital, she was there always…

But lately she just smoked and made fun of his poetry…

He wondered if he would off himself

Or where any of these were headed

He wondered what any of this was…

If he was going to lose everything

If anything really ended in destruction

If he was even good


He felt empty and numb

He wondered

If it was really possible to run out of time

Because he felt everything ending


What any of it was about

Second Bite (beer with the devil 3)

I had a dream I was drinking with the Devil again…

The bar fell quiet. The crowd of people but I felt some-one else moving through them. I could hear his hard soles on the floor…just shadow and cold.

⁃ I’m so glad you finally made it. It’s really been too long.

He spread his arms wide

⁃ You really out did yourself.

⁃ There is something else. I can feel it.

⁃ Who? Lou? Nah that’s just Death. He’s been here a long time. you’re not wrong. It’s passed the politician and the promises. The light show, you feel it too. You’re an old soul. That’s why I like artist. You feel us before we ever arrive. Like the weather.

⁃ Who is it?

⁃ Death, hates her. She’s a much older evil. She was here before the beginning. Before anything was written. Before the plan. She only serves herself.

I sat back and looked around the room. I felt like I was old. I felt like I was sifting.

I remembered old tent revivals

Dirt on the floor

I remembered thunderstorms

And mountain roads

A thin voice, eaten by tobacco and gin spoke

I didn’t even notice he had sat down.

-You’re sick. I can smell it in your blood. You’re losing weight. You can only endure so much pain.

Another voice spoke at the table. I hadn’t noticed she had sat down. She looked tired. Tattoos. A thick accent. She ashed her cigarette in my drink.

⁃ Shut up. He’s always been tired. You believe everyone is sick anyway.

⁃ You see, your vanity has you thinking the good is even with the evil. There’s no balance. You’re just as selfish as me. You want to be remembered and you want your Guardian here to be all powerful but we don’t work like that. Time is not linear. It’s brief and it’s quick and it’s over before you begin. And people will always choose the easiest paths. The comfortable. What they know. Thin love and a little poverty with a cold comfort.

⁃ I don’t think you really know people. I think people endure and grow and evolve.

⁃ Your vanity is showing…you have more of me in you than you realise. Hell is not a destination it’s here…demons are in you…heaven is just a warm memory…

I finished my drink…

-it’s always nice chatting…but we did make it. We did endure and we are still.

– I’m growing on you. You’re getting comfortable and alone. You don’t even see the changes. But I do.

I looked at Syl. She lit another cigarette. I looked back over and they all were gone. Per usual.


Trust me
When I say
There will be things in life
You will be unsure of
Tax returns
Speed limits
Correct dates of Apts
The spelling of wed- whatever
But there are somethings
That you will NOT be unsure of
Love is one of them
What you bring to the table
Is one of them
You deserve

Chicken soup
On sick days
Dances in the kitchen
Showers together
Month long birthdays
And month long valentines
Sunday brunches
Fresh flowers
But uncertainty in love
And yourself
Is not one of them
So if they are uncertain
Just leave
Because you deserve sureness
You deserve
Everything you bring
And more

The discourse (seen in eden)

Oh where did the weather
Land on your houses?
Thousands of notes
Decades of social media
Heart ache
Oh where did you rest
Vulnerability ?
Is there room here
At the table for
For empathy
Is there room now
For the divorced
The discourse
The poets
The love that miscarries
The sketches of little hearts
Broken by time
Mouths hungry for feeding
Hearts aching for connection
We have so much riding
on tomorrow
But no trust for today
Did you keep that knife
In your hand ,
Try so hard,
But we don’t understand
How is there courage
Without trust
The arena of time
Your dreams cast down
And stone
Where did it come down
on your houses
Did you ever lose
Did you ever try
Did you ever meet someone
Beyond the masquerade
Who was real….
Oh where is your profit for your stone face
And cold hand
Where did the hard rain fall on your land
Where did the concrete touch your heartland
What moment did your childhood end
What moment did they pack your
Risk and your vulnerability and leave you a check…
We say we don’t care
We say we don’t feel
We say we move mountains
But we are not real
And in the morning
See the sun break through
see your love and loved
Move with grace and peace
And know we all struggle
We all have pain
We all come from nothing
And we can remain
We can reach across
Those walls
We can stand side by side
We can do more than live hard
We can love we can try
We can see we are in the arena
And the cheap seats
Are casting their own bets
But there is no courage there
There is no risk
We can be the moment
For what people can do
The love and vulnerability
The risk
The trust
To break these chains
To begin again
To begin again
There’s no use
To look back
All that won’t last has past
And all we have is time
All we have is time
Don’t think we have time
Let’s meet again
Beyond the
silhouetted masquerade
Cast away your perfect image
We can be real for just a moment
And trust what we must become
To be living…

Sold down the river

But oh
When the kids ask
About the pictures
From the dirt and ash and tears and blood
You tell them the truth
From the dirt
We rose
Hearts of dust and rust
And thorns
And the banks kept calling
And all you had is what you had left
And any touch you had
Was just too far off
The love you had
Whatever love you held
Checked out
And you kicked them out
And patched the holes in the walls
They don’t come around here anymore
And we drank
To hide the shame
And the pain
And to feel nothing
That’s the thing
About being that far behind
They’re loading the chamber
You’re on the line
The bullseye
Sure it levels every man
It evens out in the end
If you survive
But out of time is out of time
Dust is dust
Whatever help
Was coming
Took too, too long
So you had your breakdown
You burned out
Because that’s the thing
Too late is too late
Out of time is out of time
Tell the kids that
You tell them how it really was
How you had to rebuild
Making bricks from mud and ash.



Maybe it’s too close
To the chest
We pick the weapons we know best
I’ll take the knives
That cut at my sides,
The dream.
She’ll take the chains
That she can break through,
Give us freedom,
Like the crow flies.
Give us freedom,
Like the sunrise.
Give us freedom,
From our nightmares,
Trash in the floor,
Because of a credit card accidentally thrown away.
Raised voices
Thrown chairs,
Slamming doors,
And words…
Words that you live and die by
Used against you.
Used to hurt eachother
In the darkness.
You get what you have,
You get what you are
What you really are
And multiply….
Give us freedom
Like the crow flies
Give us freedom
From our last past, worse self
Give us freedom.
To live and die
Give us freedom from
My sickness
Freedom from
Lying in a bathtub with my own blood
Freedom from the weight loss
Freedom for my mind
Give us freedom
Because I’m building
I’m working
I’m winning
And I refuse to give in