Category: Beagle in the city

Beagle in The City #293

Ethan: (steps in something…) what the?? Ugh…FRANCIS! Francis Cash! Get in here!
Francis: What did I do?
Ethan: Why did you not use your litter box? Oh my god, it’s everywhere…this is carpet man.
(Starts to clean it up.)
Wait, this isn’t sh$t this is olives…
Simon: Yeah, I wouldn’t eat those, they’re gross and disgusting.
Francis: Atleast he tries new tings.
Simon: the cheeses were good tho.
Ethan: man, I was saving these…

Beagle in the City #291

Francis: (shuffling in the room)

Ok pops, we’ve got to get you moving. It’s time to get you out there, you’re not getting any younger you know.

Ethan: What are you talking about?

Simon: we set you up an adoption profile. So you can get adopted.

Ethan: say that again? And you better be looking for a new place to live while you’re at it…

Francis: Ok, so what’s some good qualities…you’re house broke, you’re good with kids…qualities…qualities …I’ve got nothing …

Simon: He’s a good hunter…and he likes to walk.

Francis: He is good with the snacks, and couch snuggling. Do we have any fish? Or cammo? He’s gonna have to hold something so they know he’s a catch.

Ethan: Guys! No! Delete it. What? This is for PETS! And I’m fine! I’m happy.

Francis: Hmmm I’m unconvinced but if you insist.

Ethan: I insist, I’ve got this. Really. I do. Everything is fine.

Beagle in the City #290

Simon: What if we had pizza
Francis: I want chicken nuggets! FIFTY chicken nuggets.
Ethan: we’re having…we’re having…Space soup.
Simon: This isn’t very promising.
Ethan: It’s very good. You’ll like it.
Francis: Where’s the space? I don’t see the space? Are you sure you’re making this right?
Simon: are we poor? You can hit me with it dad. I’m a big dog.
Francis: oooh tuna, what’s poor? Is that in this ?
Ethan: What! (Slams counter) nonsense! You gentlemen, are the richest scoundrels I personally know.

Beagle in the City #288

Ethan: Simon! Come ON

Simon: (sniffing absolutely nothing. Looks back at Ethan)

Ethan: (Opens arms.) what the heck are you even doing?? I have to go to bed. It’s 8:30

Simon: Oh ok. My bad my bad. Oh also, if there’s bones in the bed. It’s not from chicken wings it’s from aliens…

Ethan: omg…are you serious?

Francis: oh hey, guys, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. But I just got a NEW scratcher scratcher upper. It’s brand new.

Ethan: Francis, I just gave that to you. Are you going to sleep beside it?

Francis: What’s it to you? Maybe I love this , maybe I don’t. I haven’t decided.

Beagle in the City #287

‪Ethan: Sleeping on the couch so I can watch my buddy Simone. He’s not feeling well. ‬
‪Person: you have a kid?‬
‪Person: a roommate? ‬
‪Ethan: no, Simon, my dog. ‬
‪Person: ….‬
‪Ethan: We are best buds for life. What else am I supposed to do? He helps me eat pasta and cheesecake, and sandwiches wait, ohhh‬ I think I know why you’re sick.

Simon: no it’s ok,it was the legos

Ethan: you didn’t eat LEGOs

Simon: the dog bones you hid for me?

Ethan: Ohhhhhh

Ethan: I think it was the trash you got in -Again

Simon: No I think it was the pretzels…

Ethan: …..

Ethan: hey France you want to watch a movie? It’s Richard Gere and Diane Lane

France: What the fluff is this? How about Chicago?