Ethan: Why are you judging me? You have food. You eat exactly half of your food.
Simon: I checked your Short Bread Cookies and I didn’t find any short breads.
Ethan: man! You have got to stop eating all of the food around here.
Simon: Yeah but what about these popped corns.
Ethan: tell me you did not eat the cake I left for mom. . .
Simon: I did not eat the delicious cake you left for mom.
Simon: I think I could be a skateboarding dog. I don’t believe this Tone Knee Hawk guy. It doesn’t look so difficult…
Ethan : I wish you would hurry up and get it done. Then we both could retire. Oh look, this is where he fractured his pelvis and gets a concussion…
Simon: On second thought, I think I’ll keep doing nothing and then retire. If I do a career, I would have to have elbow patches and licenses. And I’ve got that bad knee.
Ethan: Which one?
Simon: I just told you, the bad one. *pay* attention.
L: Simon! Bad dog!
Ethan: What did he do?
(Simon walks in)
Ethan: What did you do?
Simon: Absolutely NOTHING
(L stands in the door holding trash from the bin)
Simon: Say dad. You should really go back to work. You’re going to get fired! Since mom quit her job, I’ve been getting yelled at a LOT more.
Ethan: Simon, we’re on vacation.
Simon No you’re not! When you go to the vacation I get dumped at grandmas and you come back smelling like strange dirts.
Ethan: I never thought you noticed
Simon: I’m man’s best friend and I will not let you throw your car-reer away just because mom quit her job.
Ethan: We’re on vacation buddy.
Simon: fine, I will rough it with you. I’m part wolf. Let’s see, My dog food is only 60 dollars. Well, I don’t know what dollars are or what it means but that sounds VERY reasonable.
Ethan: I’ll just cut out coffee instead.
Simon: Remember I need three blankets and a pillow that’s not too hot or too cold, for
when you’re selling things at that thrifty fleas market.
Ethan: oh you’re a real Daniel Boone. I’ll warn the next frontier.
Simon: Hey dad. Why do we listen to the Jazz while we cook.
Ethan: I don’t know, I guess jazz and beer and food go together… it’s how I relax.
Simon: Oh. Ok. Like mom takes naps?
Ethan: (laughs) I guess so.
Simon: I don’t think I’ve heard this one yet. Is it new?
Ethan: Well, it’s Sinatra so it’s about 70 years old.
Simon: You were gone forever dad.
Ethan: I was at work.
Simon: Yeah but a lot happened.
Ethan: what happened?
Simon: Baths happened.
Simon: Say dad, how about a heaping cup of that.
Ethan: you can’t have coffee.
Simon: Can’t you see, I’ve got the shakes man!
Ethan: You wouldn’t if you would stop stealing coffee.
Simon: I don’t like this but I will settle for a donut.
Simon: Hi dad! So how is the work?
Ethan: You can’t keep calling me like this…
Simon: Listen, mom is still asleep. We need to discuss lunch. What are we having today?
Ethan: We still have plenty of time…
Plenty of time later
Ethan: Simon! I’m home! Ready for lunch??
Simon: Dad! Hey dad!! You always come home at just the right time.
Ethan: You knew I was coming …
Simon: all of these apartment doors look the same.. how did you know where I was?
Ethan: They’re numbered…
Simon: What is “numbered?”