Category: Beagle in the city

Beagle in the City #220

Ethan: Good lord, none of my pants fit anymore. Are you kidding me! I have got to work out.

Garf: Yes, I know what you mean. I’ve gotten fat too. We’re not as young as we used to be.

Ethan: I’m still young.

Garf: I remember once in ’97

Ethan: you weren’t here back then…

Simon: What’s a ’97 dad?

Ethan: Oh god.

Simon: Dad, you know what would make you feel better? A couple of cheeseburgers and some tator tots. Maybe some ice cream.

Ethan: No from now on, We’re eating healthy.

Garf: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Before we all get motivated, and start changing things. Maybe we should take a nap first. I always take naps first.

Simon: Naps!

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Beagle in the City #219

Bodies and Smiles

Friday, 10:30 am

Strange foot prints from an apparent unseen figure appear leaving a double murder.

Ethan: Homicide, If you’re going to write a report you need to say it right.

Simon: Shut up, you are not a good partner right now. I knew I should have brought Garf. He’s street smart. I’m going to call it in.

Ethan: I’m just saying.

Simon: This is Dog Bonz to Shelter. I have a double Homicide with apparent foot prints that are untraceable.

Garf: Guys we’re out of goldfish crackers. Also, I have to pee.

Simon: Don’t go in the office!

Ethan: Use the pad!

Simon: How do you expect him to learn anything!

Garf: I was supposed to use the pad? I thought that was to protect the floor. Like, go anywhere but here…

Ethan: Seriously?

Garf: also, you guys have a serial killer on your hands. Another body was found. As well as more crackers. I’m gonna kill some goldfish.

Simon: Wait! A killer?

Ethan: What did you think Homicide and murder was?

Simon: I don’t know. But not this, I’m not chasing a killer. I’m too young to die. I have too many things to do.

Ethan: Like what? You sleep all day and steal my sandwiches!

Simon:Well, you make crappy sandwiches!

Ethan: then stop stealing them!

Simon: Wait…what if this is an alien life force?

Ethan: I don’t think that’s what this is though…

Simon: It would explain the prints…they just disappear!

Garf: I’m about to abduct some more cheese and crackers…

Ethan: But why leave the bodies?

Simon: Maybe they got everything they need?

Ethan: Maybe they’re still looking?

Simon: We’re going to need to look at some more clues…

Garf: Blues –

Simon: Don’t say it!

Ethan: I told you not to radio everything in….

Beagle in the City #218

Dear doggie journal;

Today, me and dad picked up trash! We went through our regular walk and also picked up all the trash. And then we went to the re- re-sike-a-ling to see all the dumpsters!

Ethan: Hey guys I’m home….what did you do?

Simon: …nothing…we just waited here …you know, for you. Which you’re here now, so yay!

Ethan: you did something, I can tell…I don’t know what it is…but I’m going to find out.

Simon: Hey you must have had a hard day at work. How about you go to rain room and wash off.

Ethan: It wasn’t the trash…

Simon: I watched a great documentary today. It was called the X-Files!

Ethan: Simon,That’s not a documentary. It’s just TV.

Simon: Yes it is! How, how do you explain the pictures! And the videos! I saw it. You can’t stop me from believing dad. My eyes have been opened.

Garf: Yup, mine too. We both believe.

Ethan: No more leaving the tv on for you guys…

Simon: You can’t take the truth away from us dad.

Ethan: You ate all the food off the counter!?!

Simon: You know what’s really funny, I found a great comedy show called The Nightly News! I don’t think any of it was real.

Beagle in the City #216

Simon: What’s for dinner?

Ethan: Cajun Salmon Salad.

Simon: What are you doing with that knife?

Ethan: Oh I have to cut the skin off the salmon. See? I just get in the corner,

Simon: Ugh!!

Ethan: Peel it back, wrap it around my finger and cut and peel.

Simon: ugh! I’m sorry (gags) it’s just so gross (gags)

Ethan: That’s what you get for being curious.

Simon: And you play jazz while you do this. You’re like a cereal murderer.

Ethan: That’s not how you say that but ok.

Simon: Such a dark side…

Beagle in the City #215

Simon: I’m just saying, James Bond should have a dog.

Ethan: I hear what you’re saying, but I don’t see why he would need one.

Simon: 007 1/2

Ethan: What would he be licensed for?

Simon: To steal lunches and sniff butts.

Ethan: I bet Garf has been licensed to kill. He’s a tough guy. This is probably just his retirement.

Simon: What, that’s not true…he was adopted.

Ethan: I don’t know where he even came from, I don’t even know his past. He was probably lost on a mission. He just showed up one day.

Simon: …