Simon: Hey dad! Thanks for doing a good job at job! You’re a great hunter! Best buds for life!
Francis: your profession is a joke and you disappoint me. Now, hit me with a snax.


Simon: Hey dad! Thanks for doing a good job at job! You’re a great hunter! Best buds for life!
Francis: your profession is a joke and you disappoint me. Now, hit me with a snax.
Simon: Oh is that O-E-Os?
Ethan: Yeah man.
Simon: I can’t remember if I like those or not…
Ethan: seriously?
Simon: I probably do tho.
Ethan: You ate a whole pack yesterday. I had to buy more today.
Simon: Well,gee dad. That was yesterday’s nose. It’s different everyday.
Ethan: Hey, where’s your brother ?
Simon: Beats me…
Ethan: Use your nose…
Simon: Someone’s making hamburgers….
Ethan: (steps in something…) what the?? Ugh…FRANCIS! Francis Cash! Get in here!
Francis: What did I do?
Ethan: Why did you not use your litter box? Oh my god, it’s everywhere…this is carpet man.
(Starts to clean it up.)
Wait, this isn’t sh$t this is olives…
Simon: Yeah, I wouldn’t eat those, they’re gross and disgusting.
Francis: Atleast he tries new tings.
Simon: the cheeses were good tho.
Ethan: man, I was saving these…
Ethan: Man, look at us, are we not handsome fellas. Let’s take a picture.
Francis: Pitchur!
Francis: Foils! This stinks!
Simon: No, like this! As still as a statue….
Francis: (shuffling in the room)
Ok pops, we’ve got to get you moving. It’s time to get you out there, you’re not getting any younger you know.
Ethan: What are you talking about?
Simon: we set you up an adoption profile. So you can get adopted.
Ethan: say that again? And you better be looking for a new place to live while you’re at it…
Francis: Ok, so what’s some good qualities…you’re house broke, you’re good with kids…qualities…qualities …I’ve got nothing …
Simon: He’s a good hunter…and he likes to walk.
Francis: He is good with the snacks, and couch snuggling. Do we have any fish? Or cammo? He’s gonna have to hold something so they know he’s a catch.
Ethan: Guys! No! Delete it. What? This is for PETS! And I’m fine! I’m happy.
Francis: Hmmm I’m unconvinced but if you insist.
Ethan: I insist, I’ve got this. Really. I do. Everything is fine.
Simon: What if we had pizza
Francis: I want chicken nuggets! FIFTY chicken nuggets.
Ethan: we’re having…we’re having…Space soup.
Simon: This isn’t very promising.
Ethan: It’s very good. You’ll like it.
Francis: Where’s the space? I don’t see the space? Are you sure you’re making this right?
Simon: are we poor? You can hit me with it dad. I’m a big dog.
Francis: oooh tuna, what’s poor? Is that in this ?
Ethan: What! (Slams counter) nonsense! You gentlemen, are the richest scoundrels I personally know.
Ethan: Are you ready for turkey?
Simon: Turkey!
Ethan: Ham?
Simon: Hamz!
Ethan: Deviled eggs?
Simon: I am a fan of his eggs…
Simon: Have a swinging Thanks for Giving. Pet a dog, or a cat.
Ethan: And if it’s difficult this year, our hearts (and paws) go out to you.
Let there be love.
Ethan: Simon! Come ON
Simon: (sniffing absolutely nothing. Looks back at Ethan)
Ethan: (Opens arms.) what the heck are you even doing?? I have to go to bed. It’s 8:30
Simon: Oh ok. My bad my bad. Oh also, if there’s bones in the bed. It’s not from chicken wings it’s from aliens…
Ethan: omg…are you serious?
Francis: oh hey, guys, I don’t know if you’ve noticed. But I just got a NEW scratcher scratcher upper. It’s brand new.
Ethan: Francis, I just gave that to you. Are you going to sleep beside it?
Francis: What’s it to you? Maybe I love this , maybe I don’t. I haven’t decided.
Ethan: Sleeping on the couch so I can watch my buddy Simone. He’s not feeling well.
Person: you have a kid?
Person: a roommate?
Ethan: no, Simon, my dog.
Person: ….
Ethan: We are best buds for life. What else am I supposed to do? He helps me eat pasta and cheesecake, and sandwiches wait, ohhh I think I know why you’re sick.
Simon: no it’s ok,it was the legos
Ethan: you didn’t eat LEGOs
Simon: the dog bones you hid for me?
Ethan: Ohhhhhh
Ethan: I think it was the trash you got in -Again
Simon: No I think it was the pretzels…
Ethan: …..
Ethan: hey France you want to watch a movie? It’s Richard Gere and Diane Lane
France: What the fluff is this? How about Chicago?