Simon: I think we already saw this episode…
Ethan: No we didn’t
Simon: Yeah we did, it’s the one where they go to the outside…
Ethan: This is band of brothers…they’re always outside…
Simon: But where’s the band???
Simon: Dear dad,
Please bring home snacks,
I could go for some gold fishes
The soup you fixed me was REALLY good. Thanx.
P.S. just in case you didn’t fix me a bowl of soup. I’m hiding under the table.
Garf: FOOD! What do we have today, every day I have something different. Maybe it will be beefs or maybe it will be chickens. 
Who knows. Nice man, my man, the good man, he’s such a good hunter.
Simon: You think he knows we always eat the same meal. The hard cubes? 
Garf: Hold on guys, just a miffin, I have to check your bowl, OH salmon!
Ethan: No. I don’t think he knows. Everyday is a surprise for him.
Simon: you know who I was thinking about today. Our friend the pizza girl. 
Ethan: No. that costs money.
Simon: What is money?
Ethan: Ok boys, you two can be my caddy. Are you ready?
Simon: Oh yes. Swoosh! I can’t wait.
Garf: I hate this. What is this? Why all the excitement?
Simon: swish!! Swoosh! Where’d it go? Someone stole your ball dad! I bet it was a gofer! I’ll dig it up.
Ethan: I hit the ball. Now watch the ball… and then go get it and bring it back.
Garf: I’m lying down in this nice patch of dead grass.
Simon: I’m watching it dad. I’m ready.
Ethan: Simon. Simon. Let go. The club…I have to hit the ball first…give me the club! Knock it off!!
Simon: Hey dad! I got you a better club…
Ethan: That’s a stick.
Simon: It’s real solid. Oak!
Simon: Listen to this SWOOSH!
Ethan: Give me MY club.
Simon: What is this?
Ethan: Callaway
Simon: Like the nut?
Ethan: No that’s pistachio
Garf: The Painter?
Ethan: Thats Picasso
Simon: Who’s painted ?
Ethan: just forget it. You’re all nuts.
Simon: Pistashio! Swoosh! That’s a good club dad.
Simon: Here Garf, your turn.
Garf: Hey! Knock it off! Why’d you hit me for? Don’t throw things…
Ethan: you’re supposed to catch it…
Simon: Swish! Swoosh! Pistashio! 
Ethan: I’m telling you I think it’s the other one.
Garf: Nah come on man. I don’t think he’s got the talent. He’s out of here.
Simon: What are we doing guys?
Garf: Quiet I’m watching my shows!
Simon: bark bark bark. It’s a monster!! Quick ! Get under the table! Save yourselves!
Ethan: quiet. Other people live here man. 
Simon: Gee dad, see if I ever protect you again. You don’t know what’s out there…I’ve been watching some dogumentaries and they are very convincing…
Ethan: for the last time…everything we watch on tv isn’t true man. It’s just pretend. It’s just shows.
Simon: Ok well then… how do we explain Garf. What is he then?
Ethan : ….
Simon: ….
Ethan: Well Garf, he’s just a hellbeast.
Garf: That’s right, and you better watch your back. Especially at night.
Simon: Is that true dad?
Ethan: Hold on guys let me get an umbrella out of the car. It’s pouring down rain, I know how much you hate to go in the rain.
Ethan: Simon, wait, get out of the car. We’re not going anywhere. I just had to get the umbrella.
Simon: No, no, and nope. It’s raining out there. I’m fine right here.
Ethan: I have to take Garf out.
Garf: Hey, what are you doing in the car? Are we going for a ride?
Ethan: No. we are not going for a ride. We are going to the bathroom.
Garf: Oh good, because I get the worst gas when I go on car rides.
Ethan: Just go to the bathroom.
Simon: You guys go ahead, I’ll just sit right here. I’m fine.
Ethan: Simon! Get out of the car. Come on.
(Simon jumps to the back. Then to the front. Ethan opens the drivers door. Simon jumps to the passenger seat. And so it goes)
Ethan: I’m going to leave you here. I have to bring Garf in. So don’t pitch a fit and cry when I leave.
Simon: I’m good.
Ethan: Fine. But this was your choice.
Garf: It’s ok, I know the way I can take myself. It’s through the big door. And then you’re home.
Ethan: which door?
Garf: The door. It’s just the one door.
Ethan: Every door doesn’t bring you home buddy.
Garf: What…
Ethan: Ok Simon, you win, you want to go with me to get gas?
Simon: Ok lets do this. Floor it dad.
Ethan: Hey Garf! How are you,man? 
Garf: Hey! I missed you. 
I also don’t have to go. I’ll probably go after you leave. 
Simon: Hey dad. Since I’m 3 now… can I have my own cup of coffee?
Ethan: No.
Simon: Hot Chocolate?
Ethan: No.
Simon: Beer?
Ethan: Sorry but no. You can’t have alcohol or chocolate.
Simon: What! 
Simon:There’s more things I can’t have?? What’s alcohol ?
Ethan: Beer.
Simon: What?
Ethan: Never mind…
Simon: I guess I’ll eat these dry kibbles and prison water…
Ethan: Oh yeah, you really suffer.
Garf: Breakfast!!
