Beagle in the City #257

Simon: Hey mom! Listen, I’ve got a great idea. You should cook your way through Julia Child’s cookbook and let ME be your taste tester! I’m really good!

L: Really?

Simon: I’m not going to lie, I’ve got a full schedule, I already have a job. Being Dads best friend and all. But I think I could make it work.

L: But you don’t really work…

Simon: I do to, it’s real important! And when he’s gone to work, I am the protector!

L: Ooookay. If you say so.

Simon: Daad mom doesn’t believe me. Tell her my job is real important.

Ethan: What’s that? Hey, thanks for being my best friend.

Simon: I told you!

Beagle in the City #256

Ethan: Happy Dog Day!

Simon: Is there a dog here? I’m just kidding, I know I’m the dog!Give me paws! That’s right that’s right, hey cat, too bad you’re not a dog.

Simon: We’ve sure been through a lot together…

Ethan: Hey man, thanks for being my best friend.

Simon: Best friends forever dad.

Beagle in the City #255

Simon: So what do I need to know, about the cats…

Casper: Well, first, they are not dogs. And they never will be.

Simon: Ok ok, well, how do I play with him?

Casper: They don’t do fetch. Sometimes, they pounce on you, while you’re sleeping. And sometimes, while you’re just walking down the stairs…

Simon: When do they sleep?

Simon: do they know about chase the stick ?

Or roll in the grass?

Or chase the ball?

Or walk around the park?

Casper: No, but sometimes, they break things and you get blamed for it. And sometimes they jump out of no where and scare you.

Simon: Scandal!

Beagle in the City #254

Francis Cash: My name is Francis, I have the bloodline of royalty.

Francis: unfortunately, I was not living the life of royalty. I was in a shelter. But then I met this nice man.

Francis: I could see opportunity.

Ethan: This is Francis, we decided to adopt him. Simon, helped, I figured we could watch Star Trek and the X- Files together and he wouldn’t be scared.

Francis: He seemed nice enough. I decided I would let him live with me. We could work something out. I would have to put up with the doggo, but I could tell this was a writer.

Francis: Ahh yes, I could sense the stories.

Simon: Heyyyyv Francis!

Francis: Sniff my paw,it’s soft.

Simon: No, no, nope, I may have fell for that the first time and the second time…but I’m not going to fall for it again.

Simon: what do you even do with a cat?? I have so many questions. . .

Beagle in the City #253

Simon: Dad! Dad! No no no no no no no no!

Ethan: Hey what is wrong man? Breathe, now, sit down. Ok. Much better.

Simon: Someone stole the bed. I know, because I was going to bed, but it’s not there because SOMEONE STOLE it!

Ethan: No one stole it.

Simon: They didn’t ?

Ethan: Nah, it was just Aliens. You know, (whistles X-Files theme)

Simon: I knew it!

Ethan: No, I’m putting together a new bed. Are you gonna help me or not?

Simon: I don’t think we can get this done in time for bed..

Ethan: Sure we can!

Ethan: I may have made a miscalculation on the difficulty of this…

12 hours later. Or, the next day.

Ethan: Simon! I finally finished! Come on, let’s go to bed!

L: Did he not go to sleep?

Ethan: No, he waited all night.

L: well, hey, I’ve got to ask you something.

L: Guys? Guys?

Ethan: zzzz

Simon:zzzzz

Beagle in the City #252

I came home so weary

Couldn’t write

Couldn’t play

Don’t you know

I had the blues

I looked at my dog

I said

Beagle

Don’t you know

None of us has perfect days

He looked at me

And this is what he said

I had two perfect days

Walked around the block

We shared a hot dog

You checked the mail

And I checked the trash

We watched the tv

Any day with you dad

Is a perfect day to me

Yeah best friends till the end

I said

What about day two?

I’ve got the blues

He said

We got up

Cooked breakfast

We ate some bacon

Walked around the block

You checked the mail

I checked the trash

Any day with you dad

Is a perfect day to me

I said

That’s right

Best friends till the end

Beagle in the City #251

Simon: Ow! Something bit me!

Ethan: what was it? A snake? A scorpion?

Simon: I’m going to pass out, yep I’m going to be sick, (woozes back and forth)

Simon: I’ll be ok, when my leg falls off, just bury it beside Garf. I can make it on three legs.

Ethan: Let’s go to the Doctor

(Later)

Simon: I don’t know what you’re talking about,

Ethan: It was a bee sting,

Simon: I almost died.

Ethan: You’re not even allergic!

Simon: Well, I didn’t know that. I could have been allergic, I’ve never been stung before.

Ethan: 80 dollars to find out all you needed was a Benadryl.

Simon: DRILL? Seems a bit drastic…

Ethan: No, never mind.