Ethan: it’s almost your birthday. You won’t be a puppy anymore. You’ll be two. What are your plans? You’re not going to move out or anything? Smoke some cigars, borrow the car…
Simon: I’ve decided to grow a beard, dad. Check it out. I’m way more serious now. Do you see it?
Ethan: What? Who’s this old dog talking to me? Where is Simon? My puppy?
Ethan: What have you done?? Who are you?
Blaster: Well, I’ve had a pretty eventful week. Just the other day, my hip went out, so I had to get up and change sides of the porch to sleep on.
Ethan: Why didn’t you just roll over?
Blaster: That explains a lot of things. You’re a smart man.
Blaster: What about you?
Ethan: Hmm, well, I discovered bucketless Pine Sol. It’s fantastic. And my floors look like they belong in Chatsworth. But that’s probably just me.
Blaster: Boy,that’s just depressing. A hooman with a license a phone and a car…I get better stories from the Up man.
Ethan: The up man?
Blaster: yeah, he drives a truck with his name on it. UPS. I’m like what up, ups. It’s his secret name though. He really brings us treats that are so good you have to sign for them. But you didn’t hear it from me.
Simon: My Mom is the best at naps. Sometimes, I try and beat her at it, but I get distracted a lot. She doesn’t even move when I touch her shoulder, like I do with dad. She must have practiced so hard.
Every morning, she takes hair from my tail, and messes with dad. That’s when he slaps his face in his sleep. I try and fight her off. But then we fight the mighty snake dragon…with its five shiny heads. Just when I almost get it…it changes back to her hand. I think she’s a magician.
She has the best dog friends,
I’m so glad she got me from the shelter…
Little Bit: And that Vet, they wanted to give me the Senior Physical. Can you believe that, I’m just a puppy. How long have we known each other? Ten years? Seven years? Really, I am astonished. And they call themselves professionals. Hey, Simon, look at that rabbit. Do you have those in the City?
I Don’t know why you got this little beagle. He’s so annoying and he never listens. He doesn’t even chase rabbits. Just stands out there smelling flowers.
Simon: Are you a flower? I’m a beagle.
Little Bit: But I guess he’s ok. And your guy is ok too. He has a nice beard. And it’s nice when he sings to me. As long as you’re happy. And remember, you’re always my girl.
Happy Mother’s Day.
Adopt don’t shop
Simon: Hey, Hey, so let’s discuss this cookie.You don’t seem very excited about it.
Ethan: Leave Landon alone buddy.
Simon: It’s ok,I’m a good boy.
Ethan: just gonna cut myself an apple. Need to eat healthier anyway.
Simon: I’ll take mine with peanut butter. Thanks dad.
Ethan: where, how did, where did you come from?
Simon: The shelter, remember?
That moment you realise you’ve successfully documented your best friends life with over 157 blog posts and countless images….
And they’re not even two yet.
Simon: are you talking about me?
Ethan: well, yeah man.
Simon: Well I was looking at that paper on the wall…it has mom’s name on it…so what shelter did you get her from?
Ethan: marriage…it doesn’t work like that…
Simon: It looks like it says…
Ethan: it doesn’t .
Adopt don’t shop
Simon: Hey dad!
Ethan: Hey,man. What’s up?
Simon: Nothing much. I just woke up from my nap. Why do you have wrapping paper? Is it my birthday already? Are we having a party?
Simon: Hold on I’ve got an itch….
Ethan: I’m getting ready for mom’s birthday next month. The month of L. She will get a present every week.
Simon: Hold it. I’ve got the best thing! Ok wrap this with it!
Ethan: What is it?
Simon: I don’t know, I found it in the yard and it fit in my mouth.
Ethan: it’s – it’s a bug.
Simon: isn’t it fantastic!
Ethan: Tell me you don’t have more of these ….