Beagle in the City #247

Simon: I’m thinking about making a wine.

Ethan: Really?

Simon: Yes, it will be really great. Hints of Bone Broth, bark and dark thistles.

Ethan: Mmm (gags) that sounds (gags) delicious.

What’s the name?

Garf: I got this, name it, Din Din number 1

Simon: Bacon.

Ethan: I can tell you’re new at this.

Garf: Trash.

Simon: Beagle Brigade

Garf: Unleashed.

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Beagle in the City #246

Pizza man: Hey Simon!

Simon: Hey best friend.

Garfunkel: Hey Who is it?

Simon: Nobody, go away.

Pizza man: that’ll be 15 dollars.

Garf: You can’t PAY the pizza man with dog treats. He needs cash. He’s gonna cut your paws off!

Simon: Well, I hope he likes dog treats.

Simon: This is my friend puddles. He’s going to pay you.

Garf: What? That’s not my name !

Pizza man: that’s a cool name

Simon: It’s cause he pees in the floor.

Ethan: Hey man, here’s your money. Sorry it took so long. Come on boneheads.

Beagle in the City #244

Simon: Every day, dad comes home on lunches, and we go to the outside. It’s great. We play for days.

Ethan: You realize, it’s only one hour. And most people actually get to eat on their lunch.

Garfunkel: Well I’m just a starvin’ marvin, just a starvin’ marvin, I ain’t eat in three whole days!

Ethan: What are you singing? What is this?

Garfunkel: what if we all go and get sammiches.

Ethan: How about peanut butter and you guys go to the bathroom like you’re supposed to. I’m about to have to leave.

Simon: Whaaat what do you have left, a week, three days? Is it 57 minutes! No not the minutes! They are so sad!

Ethan: that’s it, I’m leaving. I’m never coming back. I’ll send you a postcard.

Garfunkel: Wait for me! Bum bum dum dum starvin’ marvin…

Beagle in the City #243

Simon: Look dad! I’m digging!

Simon: And you’re sure Moles aren’t scary?

Simon: You know one time, I knew a squirrel, he wasn’t a Mole though, have you ever seen a squirrel? You probably have.

Simon: Why are they under the ground? Is it dark under the ground? How do they see? Is it as dark as when I’m under the covers?

Simon: When do we take breaks? I could go for some snacks…

Simon: Just look at the size of this trench I dug!

Ethan: I don’t think you did as much as you think you did…

Simon: What do you mean? I’m exhausted…

Beagle in the City #242

Ethan: Ok are you ready to play Dog Golf?

Simon: I’m ready I’m ready!

Ethan: Who wants to play?

Simon: Me me me!!!

Garfunkel: I’ll just watch but thanks for thinking about me.

Ethan: Ok so I hit the ball and…

Simon: I attack the ball and bounce back and forth flying it home to dad!!

Ethan: Right!

(Moments later)

Ethan: I really am sorry.

Simon: Don’t talk to me…

Ethan: It was an ACCIDENT honest.

Garf: That was hilarious! Replay it!

Simon: Shut up!

Ethan: How could I do that on purpose! You’ve seen me play golf! I’m terrible at it!

Simon: I can’t feel my face…

Ethan: what can I do to say I’m sorry?

Garf: OH I KNOW! Call nice lady and tell her everything that happened! Here I’ve already called the number!

Garf: Hello? Hospital? Put the warden, uhh I mean, Simon’s Mom on!

Ethan: Sooo I took Simon out and was playing with him and Garf

And hitting golf balls

And accidentally hit him in the face and busted his gum. It was like right on the nose.

He had blood in his gums

And now our dog is afraid of balls…

Lindz: which one ?

Ethan: They are both our dogs. Are you saying you love one more than the other?

Lindz: No, but which one?

Ethan: Simon.

Garf: Hey man, Since you’re gonna be sleeping in my room for rest of forever, I’ve gotta tell you the tour. You’ve got a tv, a couch, a warming blanket, seriously, this thing never gets cold.

Ethan: it’s an electric blanket. And I’ll be fine.

Garf: I don’t know man, I mean, you broke your dog. Remember? He’ll probably never be the same.

Ethan: I get the fluffy pillow.

Beagle in the City# 241

Ethan: Ok guys, I’m going to need your assistance, Garf !

Garf: What, who’s there? What’s going on?

Ethan: Stay, in, the , tv room, watch your shows.

Garf: Ok. (Mumbles) That’s what I was doing, wake me up from a nap . Probably gonna pee, I don’t know yet.

Ethan: Simon! Where are you?

Simon: I’m right here Dad, in my chair.

Ethan: Uhmmm stay in your chair, I will work my way there, polishing the floor, and we will just wait half an hour and write ok?

Simon: You got it!

Ethan: I will bring you a treat.

Simon: treats!

Ethan: Works on the floor, slowly corners himself, climbs in chair….

Simon: Well, I guess I better go to bed… (runs across floor)

Ethan: No no no!

Simon: Ohhhhhh

Ethan: (glares)

Simon: See, I thought, if I ran REAL FAST …it wouldn’t leave any prints…

Ethan: Buddy, I love you, but you’re dead to me.

Simon: Soo much dog hair too . (Runs to crate and hides) I’m in my crate and you can’t touch me mom says so!

Ethan: Who was that? I don’t have a dog, life is so much easier since I sent him off to the VA. Now I have clean floors.

Simon: Wait, what about best buds? You have to love me! It’s in the rulz! Where’s the manager! I want justice!