Hiatus

I saw her

And everything stopped

But I recognized

I was attracted to the moment

I didn’t know her

And I continued on

No one heard time stop

No one heard a heart that was saved

I’m tired

I’m tired

Of this age

Of knowing

I say less

But write more

And I can’t even write letters anymore

I’m just tired …

Maybe there is a hiatus

But is there a hiatus to escape from ones self?

Ones outlook?

Love her

Here’s how you love her

You don’t go to a bottle of wine

Just to get to the bottom

It will go to your head

-///

Slow down

Take your time

Really be there

Really look at her

See her

Feel her

Her kiss

Her laugh

Her smile

She needs a safe space

A trusted place

To be herself in

Don’t edit her

Don’t judge her

And when she lets you in her bed

Be there

Really be there

With her

There’s no rush to this

It’s not a race

There will be nights

Like shots

Of liquor

And those have their place

But there are also nights

Filled with passions and thunderstorms

Where you outlast the rain

There is no rush

Slow it down

Slower than slow

Slower than what you think slow is

Slow

Until you memorize her breathing and her heart beating…

Her body rising

And settling

The way the light touches her

And you realize

It’s morning

Love her like this

And you won’t be able

To be anywhere else

But with her

Francis Cash #15

Ethan: Francis, look I’m sorry.

Francis: No! Stay away from me.

Ethan: Here, have some treats.

Francis: What is THIS this isn’t going to change anything.

Ethan: I’m sorry I dropped you in the sink.

I thought I had a better grip. But you MOVED!

Francis: (sighs. looks away.) I’m sorry I bit you. But you did drop me in the sink. You grabbed my bob tail.

Ethan: (whispers) I thought it was a Hemorrhoid or something.

Francis: What! It’s my tail.

Ethan: You’re the one that keeps getting poop stuck.

Francis: I do smell betterz now.

Seven

I once kissed a girl and she asked me why I always said goodbye like I would never see her again…
“We will see each other Thursday she said…”
I didn’t have the heart to tell her about you…
How you were here Monday
And gone Thursday…
——
People will say it’s a lot
To love like that
Because it’s rare
That’s because they still have hope
They believe they still have time
But when you walk through the world
Understanding that you are already dead…you just haven’t arrived at your casket
You drink every moment
And taste it…
You don’t ask it to give
More than it can
You don’t rush things
You’re patient
If you’re in bed with a woman
That’s where you are
If you’re dancing
That’s where you are
I don’t rush things anymore
And I don’t chase them either
Live your life
This is all you can do
And try to make good art out of it
Make your art

Bleeding Ink 1,604

There’s all these voices

I look around the room

I close my eyes

Some raise a glass

Expect me to just hate women

My phone blows up

“Look at this.”

“Go to therapy.”

“Take 4 years.”

Everyone has an opinion

I watch the room

I spent all those years

Doing what I thought was best

Buying flowers

Writing letters

Making dinner

Dances in the kitchen

I still didn’t do everything right, I guess

It’s not one persons fault

I won’t complain

I’m not going to cry in my beer

I’ve seen that

Too too many times

I watch the room

I feel nothing

I feel nothing at all

That’s the worst part

I don’t hurt

I’m not angry

I cannot possibly drink enough

And I feel nothing at all

“You know what you should do? You should go sniff and hit everything you can.”

But I feel nothing at all…

Only the blues

There’s an isolation inside

And I know

There’s going to be a morning

When the sun will rise

And I will only write

About that deep blue

That is her eyes

Just give it time

Even the sea is calm

At the darkest of the night

And I try to think

But the words can’t be found

And I try to drink

But there’s never enough

So I watch the room

And accept this too

This feeling – Nothing

Hoping I don’t become some kind of

Bitter southerner

That’s all

I don’t want to be hung up

I don’t want to be bitter

They expect me to just hate

But have you ever

Talked for hours with a woman

Danced without hesitation

Read until the morning

With her hand in your hand

And her head on your chest

There’s a thousand other intimacies

She gives you before you’re in her bed

I know this will pass

This feeling nothing

Bleeding ink 1,603

All the lights burn down low

Candles in a beating storm

All the words you try to speak

Muted

All the world

This room

Filling with water

There is no room here

No air

All the light has left

There is no devil

Only you

There is no hell

Only here

There is no heaven

Just the fiction we convince ourselves

So we can die in some kind of comfort some kind of peace

——

There is a frustration

There is an aggravation

There is this migration

You cannot change someone

You cannot expect love

Where there was no love before

So why are you surprised

When there is no empathy

——

The world broke

Whatever light was left

Is now gone

Whatever was soft grass

Is now a bitter root

The light by the candle

Has finally left

Whatever was flaming youth

Is burned ash

I am done

I am broke

I am gone