I’m thankful


Living with crohns

Is like well, yeah.

But I’m thankful that I’ve made it this far.

That I’ve been able to keep working

That I’ve not had a flare so bad I was forced to stay home or go to the hospital

Or pass blood

Or any other number of things that are far too gross to go in to detail about…

I don’t have insurance right now

I can’t take medicine right now because of that…

So I’m thankful

That I’m able to keep working

Towards my goals ….

For all the good.

I’m thankful

For the mornings

I’m thankful for the beauty

I’m thankful

And if I’ve been harsh

Or volatile

Or fixed in my vision

I often feel the need to apologise


I think I will always be hungry

I will always be chasing

I’m not the same as

Other people I’ve known

I’m restless

And I’m at a pivotal moment in my life

Other people want to buy cars

And homes

I just want food

And to invest in something that will grow

Not buy a car….

My hope is that my future self

Will be thankful too

That my future self will be proud.

I went to Cleveland to make contacts

In six months I could be anywhere.

Making more money than I’ve ever seen.

But this morning I counted out four dollars in change to get gas.

I think it’s important to remember where you came from.

I remember working with my dad when I was six. We would get up early in the morning and go sell produce. You could smell the corn and the tomatoes and the watermelons. We cut grass and we sold tools. We did whatever we could.

I remember going to food banks and the cans had government labels on them. They were not attractive or marketable. They were blank. Bland colours.

We pretended we were soldiers and it was our rations.

I keep remembering all of these things from the past…

And I’m just thankful.

That I’ve made it this far.

No matter what happens.

Bleeding Ink 1,173

1,173 poems

I’m a mess that you don’t want

What kind of life would it be

It looks good on the outside

Suit and tie

But inside it’s me in sweat pants

Lying on the bathroom floor

Drinking in the bathtub

Rain in my head


Sick in the bones

But I can’t stop thinking about you

And I keep saying one day I won’t be sick

And one day things will be better

And when I’m sick

I write letters

To feel better

It’s all rain from the sky

The fire in your eyes

The shadows across your hips

The corners of your lips

There’s a burning desire

Between 1 and 5 am

I close my eyes

And I’m healthy again

It’s just me and you

And I’m a better man

We don’t have to talk

There’s desire in the rain

Let me touch you like a poet

You’re the only woman on earth

I’m drunk from your kiss

Let me memorise your body

And every language that you speak on the brink of the edge of desire

Before you come apart like the weather

The time’s are fast


Everyone says to come last

Can we just undress and forget the rest

It’s just us

Where would I be without you woman


Bleeding Ink 1,672 (gateways)

I had a dream

I was a writer,

I stumbled outside

I had been offline

I didn’t recognize the world …

The masks

We couldn’t wash our hands

The water

Wasn’t clean

I washed them in the rain…I was driving fast


My brother was sick

He couldn’t take the pain

And I felt the pain too

He hung himself from a bridge


She said it’s crazy love

It’s not a gateway love

But there’s mushrooms in her cup

And a needle on the night stand

Is it the poverty or is it the cancer killing me?

I wish that I was doing better

I wish that I was doing better

I wish that we were doing better ….

It’s not a gateway love

But it’s never gonna be enough

It’s raining


He had tears in his eyes

Tired from the pain

The train almost got my car

And when it passed

He was hanging from the sky

It’s not a gateway

But It’s never gonna be enough….

No sides (full hustle)

She’s making money
No sides
Full hustle

She’s pulling doubles
104 %.
104 weeks
A year
You can’t handle what you
Can’t own
You can’t taste
What you can’t touch
She’s out of your class
She’s out of patience for your
(Love) (truck) (excuses)
There’s no coming back to
There’s no
She’s moving forward
And she ain’t paying taxes
She’s writing off the years she carried your asses
She’s stacking cash
She’s building her empire
No holds barred
Who made the rules ?
She’s out to build
She’s out to thrill
Her self
No coming back
No looking back
She’s her own muse
She makes her own rules
She’s making money
No sides
Full hustle


Photo Origin Kylie Francis


And here we are



The warm fires

In winter

Dry leaves


Sweet is the wine

Long and brief is the love we share

Yet stronger

From grief


The music starts

Her lips are close

Her hair is down

The wine

The fire

The earth

Everything else is smoke…


Between the voices

The crowd

I see her

Red dress

How can you not

See her

Even now

After all this time

My eyes

Are always looking

Across the room

For a red dress


And here we are

After all this time

And all this grief

And all that is brief

And the wine is sweet

Her eyes are closed

Her lips are close


Everything else is smoke ….



I know
Deep inside
That I am not good
I try to be
I try to be better
But inside
I want to be lazy
I want to do nothing
I want to scream
I try to be thankful
For the things I have
For those who support me
And encourage me
To compare
Encouraging you
Be thankful
Oh they will sell you a used ticket to an empty stage
And call it life
But I’ve been up and down
I remember where I came from
You get what you are
And if you are romantic
And you are driven
Nothing can kill that
Not even hard times
You may have a few days
But you come back
I am thankful
For what I have
And for those
Who encourage and believe in me
And let me say
I will always remember
When I come back around
I am what I am
I only know how to be me
I’ll dance with you
And I’ll cook for you
And I’ll get drunk from your lips
I know inside I’m not good
But I’ve always tried
I’ve always tried….
And I’m thankful
For her.