Ice storms

We used to have these ice storms

We would go out afterwards

Play football in the driveway

Ride our bikes

Trying not to wreck

Pretending to Rally Race

Skin our elbows and knees until they bled

——

I always wanted to be a football player…

——

We burned some trees in our back yard and I remember the heat…

Sometimes it felt like things couldn’t get hotter than that.

——

And then you sit down and try to write

And that vulnerable

That nakedness

Staring at you on the page

It’s like a woman opening up to you

Or letting you go down on her

Really opening up

Vulnerability

If you don’t honor that

What are you?

—/

You try to write

You don’t want to whine

You don’t want to echo

And you don’t know

It feels like we are all saying the same things

You feel out of place

The wrong year

The wrong life

What do you do with your time

Someone told me they were falling out of love

It was like trying to catch rain in a cup

Is anything sacred like intimacy?

I just keep writing

Because I can’t stop

They say that one day

You wake up and it’s off

Like love

It just leaves the room

But I keep being that romantic

I keep getting up

Saying good morning beauty

And writing anyway ….

I know that one day, one morning,

I’ll be closer anyway

One day, one morning, I’ll put my guards away.

Forever is but a moment

My back yard

I just want solitude

And beauty too

And if that rings true

You don’t have to give me forever

Just another moment with you

——///

Don’t let time pass you by

I know you have to go

The shadows are covering the sky

But I hope

I left you something

Good

I hope

I left you something

To remember

I hope

In this solitude

this beauty

That is you

Morning June

Come on morning June

She has starship eyes

She’s gonna make it alright

She won’t wear the colours of your love

Like the 4th of July

She’s kicked a hole in the sky

She’s gonna make it alright

She’s gonna love

She’s gonna live

She’s dreaming out loud

—-

Come on morning June

Starship eyes

The moon is new for you…

New beginnings are ok

Every 29.5 days there’s a full moon

Even the sky starts again.

Be softer

Be stronger

You’re living

Too much perfection is a mistake

It’s just a moment

Minnie Driver

Bleeding Ink 1,516

Why do we pretend so hard

That we’re doing fine

When we know

We’re just passing shadows in this house

The echoes in the night

Are just whispers of our pride

I left all my thoughts out on the lawn

And I pray

I pray

I can get some sleep

But my cuts run too deep

I guess my soul is bleeding out

Why do we pretend

When we both know

I tried

I lied

Like the flowers you let die

And you can’t even look at me

Tell me

How long does it take

For love to run out

Is it red hands

Is it pills

To put us to sleep

So we don’t have to see

That you don’t even touch me

Anymore

Unless it’s to slam the door

I guess I

Can’t stand here anymore

We’re both too good at this fight

Or maybe we just ran out of time

Why do we do what we do

Like shadows passing in the night

And now I make dinner for one

I still hold my tongue

And I can’t sleep

I can’t sleep

I still hold my tongue

So hard that I wake up and my lips bleed

———

I can’t write this book anymore

It’s a knife in my gut

This year is too too damn old

Oh babe

You can’t start a fire

Crying over your past

We have to let these things go

We have to let these things go

Look Back

“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

1. I know it hurts. I know it feels Overwhelming, right here, this year, that storm, this virus, your heart, past love, tomorrows horizon.

Look back

I remember the woods. The cold concrete floors. The bear. The deer. The mountain lion.

2. This is where I learned how to read.

3. Everyone has a childhood. Everyone has something they get over.

Remember you can remain solid and still grow, still change. You can move in and out from this. It’s a dance,

There’s room for you to grow into yourself. Light shines brighter in the dark.

Look back, see how far you’ve come. Only compare yourself to yourself.

It’s quiet, in the mornings…

I think about the time we danced in the kitchen, drinking coffee…

I think about all that I’ve seen

How everything is temporary,

Everything changes…

I’ve changed

We can’t go back

We’ve seen too much

Felt so much

We will never be the same

And that’s ok

We will never be right here again

Be gentle

Let yourself be here

Let yourself grow

Ragged and Broken

Ragged

Used and broken

We are what we hate

It’s just words

But once they’ve been spoken

I’d never seen anyone quite like that

She had the attitude

But she lacked the gratitude

Now she’s somewhere between Greece

Sometimes I think of her and I wonder…

——

Raggedy Anne lights her cigarette

And the shoe shine boy

Drinks his last drink

She’s getting on the first bus out of here

But the tire’s ragged and busted

Now she’s at the diner

Between 9-5

——

What good am I

Am I ragged and broken

Or am I just broken down

Too many drinks

Too many fist fights in my sleep

——

Do you keep the receipts

For all the things they’ve sold you

If we don’t find the changes that heal

We will just be

Ragged used and broken

We are what we hate

E.B.

Hard Times

Time is running away from reach

Your hands are shaking in your sleep

Your heart’s cold stone sober

Your eyes are barely open

———

Ring the bells

Let them know

——

I turned to the radio

For some relief

But all it did was yell at me

——-

Is everything broken

Hard times

In this time

Will we make it day by day

——

Do you see me

——

Do you hear me

——

There’s an unspoken understanding

You work until you die

——

There’s a whole lot of pain

There’s a whole lot of lonely

Am I empty

Or am I just sad

Did I misplace my soul

Instead of my keys ….

——

Let us sleep

——

Let us sleep

——

Is it too dark to die

Is it too hard to cry

Will we be buried

Will we see ?

I’ll be at my funeral

I’ve seen it in my dreams

I’m running out

Time out of mind

——-

Most of the time

I’m doing fine

But It feels like hard times

It feels like

This pain

But I don’t know what I would change it to, if I could,

it’s a fire tonight

It’s us

Right here

Right now

We will handle the rest

Little by little

Highway 75

Somewhere in the back woods

Where the football scouts don’t come

The winter last forever

The hunger is in your baby’s eyes

————

Out here on 75

You lived for work and money

The kitchen breathed the winter

Held the cold

Like smoke and coal

———

They carried him over the mountain

With seven shotgun shells

———

He swore no more poverty

He swore no more hunger

But the color of his skin ….

———-

Two rode on the hood with the snow in the headlights coming down

They had to get him to Birmingham

Before the fighting began

———-

Way out in the mountains

On the back of 75

Your kitchen holds the winter

Your kids are sick and cold

With hunger in their eyes

The football scouts don’t come

The coal mines have been shut down

——-

The railroad couldn’t make the mountain

They’re carrying a black journalist across the mountain with seven shotgun shells ….

Night

I prop myself against the sunrise

And I close my eyes

Hoping I do not wake

———

I can not gather the strength

To face another day

Inside this night

Where everything stays the same

———-

The humm of the noise

The faces that float like smoke

The mind like bran

Just blows out

———

Don’t let me wake

All that we’ve become

Time may change us

And all that we’ve become

Suddenly all of the scars

The battle wounds

We’ve inflicted on one another

Pales in the light of this New

——-

I think about all that we know

All of you

And I think

How lucky I have been

To see all of us happy

All of us cry

To see us dancing

Drinking

Living

To see you singing

I think about all of us working the front lines

Those who are in face masks

How all you see are eyes

But you learn you can see a smile

Feel a smile

And

I think

How lucky I have been ….

To be alive for this…

To see you right now

We are together

Right now

In this night

You’re a good nurse

You’re a good neighbour

You’re a good person

Reaching out

Staying in

Keeping hope

We will live to fight another day

We will live to love

Another day

JFK JR