Look Back

“Though much is taken, much abides; and though
We are not now that strength which in old days
Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;
One equal temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.”

-Alfred Lord Tennyson

1. I know it hurts. I know it feels Overwhelming, right here, this year, that storm, this virus, your heart, past love, tomorrows horizon.

Look back

I remember the woods. The cold concrete floors. The bear. The deer. The mountain lion.

2. This is where I learned how to read.

3. Everyone has a childhood. Everyone has something they get over.

Remember you can remain solid and still grow, still change. You can move in and out from this. It’s a dance,

There’s room for you to grow into yourself. Light shines brighter in the dark.

Look back, see how far you’ve come. Only compare yourself to yourself.

It’s quiet, in the mornings…

I think about the time we danced in the kitchen, drinking coffee…

I think about all that I’ve seen

How everything is temporary,

Everything changes…

I’ve changed

We can’t go back

We’ve seen too much

Felt so much

We will never be the same

And that’s ok

We will never be right here again

Be gentle

Let yourself be here

Let yourself grow

Ragged and Broken

Ragged

Used and broken

We are what we hate

It’s just words

But once they’ve been spoken

I’d never seen anyone quite like that

She had the attitude

But she lacked the gratitude

Now she’s somewhere between Greece

Sometimes I think of her and I wonder…

——

Raggedy Anne lights her cigarette

And the shoe shine boy

Drinks his last drink

She’s getting on the first bus out of here

But the tire’s ragged and busted

Now she’s at the diner

Between 9-5

——

What good am I

Am I ragged and broken

Or am I just broken down

Too many drinks

Too many fist fights in my sleep

——

Do you keep the receipts

For all the things they’ve sold you

If we don’t find the changes that heal

We will just be

Ragged used and broken

We are what we hate

E.B.

Hard Times

Time is running away from reach

Your hands are shaking in your sleep

Your heart’s cold stone sober

Your eyes are barely open

———

Ring the bells

Let them know

——

I turned to the radio

For some relief

But all it did was yell at me

——-

Is everything broken

Hard times

In this time

Will we make it day by day

——

Do you see me

——

Do you hear me

——

There’s an unspoken understanding

You work until you die

——

There’s a whole lot of pain

There’s a whole lot of lonely

Am I empty

Or am I just sad

Did I misplace my soul

Instead of my keys ….

——

Let us sleep

——

Let us sleep

——

Is it too dark to die

Is it too hard to cry

Will we be buried

Will we see ?

I’ll be at my funeral

I’ve seen it in my dreams

I’m running out

Time out of mind

——-

Most of the time

I’m doing fine

But It feels like hard times

It feels like

This pain

But I don’t know what I would change it to, if I could,

it’s a fire tonight

It’s us

Right here

Right now

We will handle the rest

Little by little

Highway 75

Somewhere in the back woods

Where the football scouts don’t come

The winter last forever

The hunger is in your baby’s eyes

————

Out here on 75

You lived for work and money

The kitchen breathed the winter

Held the cold

Like smoke and coal

———

They carried him over the mountain

With seven shotgun shells

———

He swore no more poverty

He swore no more hunger

But the color of his skin ….

———-

Two rode on the hood with the snow in the headlights coming down

They had to get him to Birmingham

Before the fighting began

———-

Way out in the mountains

On the back of 75

Your kitchen holds the winter

Your kids are sick and cold

With hunger in their eyes

The football scouts don’t come

The coal mines have been shut down

——-

The railroad couldn’t make the mountain

They’re carrying a black journalist across the mountain with seven shotgun shells ….

Night

I prop myself against the sunrise

And I close my eyes

Hoping I do not wake

———

I can not gather the strength

To face another day

Inside this night

Where everything stays the same

———-

The humm of the noise

The faces that float like smoke

The mind like bran

Just blows out

———

Don’t let me wake

All that we’ve become

Time may change us

And all that we’ve become

Suddenly all of the scars

The battle wounds

We’ve inflicted on one another

Pales in the light of this New

——-

I think about all that we know

All of you

And I think

How lucky I have been

To see all of us happy

All of us cry

To see us dancing

Drinking

Living

To see you singing

I think about all of us working the front lines

Those who are in face masks

How all you see are eyes

But you learn you can see a smile

Feel a smile

And

I think

How lucky I have been ….

To be alive for this…

To see you right now

We are together

Right now

In this night

You’re a good nurse

You’re a good neighbour

You’re a good person

Reaching out

Staying in

Keeping hope

We will live to fight another day

We will live to love

Another day

JFK JR

Breaking points

You walked through my heart

Like Elizabeth Taylor

Your redhair

And

You commanded

My attention

What else was I suppose to do

I couldn’t live

Without loving you

Live without

We all lived

Now I’m dying

——

I still find pieces of you

Pieces of me

Of us

Inside all my notebooks

Mexican takeout Scribbled

I try to order the write

Words

Hoping to bring them together

But I know

I know