Dead Sea SoupĀ 

Sometimes we spend the weekend at grandmas. She’s pretty cool.She has a cow. A horse, a boa constrictor And a dog. I still think she should get an elephant though. 

Sometimes she gives us a bath outside With the water hose. But that’s usually after we have covered ourselves with rocks and mud (We were trying to be statues) She used Dead Sea soap. She said “it’s naturally antibacterial.Which means it kills germs.”

But this weekend she wasn’t feeling good. So, I decided, because I’m the oldest.That we should make soup.That’s what the adults always do for us. So we made it out of everything we like …Tomatoes,Noodles,Cheese And then I remembered. Dead Sea soap is all natural! And that means it’s healthy And it fights germs. Because it’s antibiotic!. And so we threw that in there And we gave it to her.

It must have made her feel better. Because she moved really fast when we told her it was Dead Sea soup.

The Moon Tree


There once
Was a village
On the side of a glen

In the midst
Of a drought
You’d forget
Where you’ve been
And wander
Until you
We’re famished
To the bone

Until the moon came
Out at 3am
Then you could see it
If you were lucky
The moon tree
There in the valley

Shining brightly
Drawing you in

At first
You would try to reach it
But there were so many
Steep slopes
And thick fog
And the draygons
Moved in the shadows
Here outside the Rim
Anything could
And usually did

Many would say
Is what killed
Not the tree itself
But what it brought

Here in the hunger
The dust
And the dark
It’s fruit
And it’s light
Caused you to attempt
The flight
And be cut down
In the road
By many witches
Waiting with red eyes

Until the day
A soldier
Younger than most
Ran across the tree
By accident
It was night
And the fog was thick
When he saw its light
And moved toward it

Hearing sounds
Of laughter
Alongside him
He pulled his sword
And took his pistol

There in the road
Appeared two eyes
“I will have your heart on a stake
I will drink your blood
From my cup before this clock
Strikes 12”

The soldier waited
And waited
Her hair
long and silver in the moonlight
He called on the tree
With its perfect illumination
He asked for wisdom
And he asked for light
But got nothing
Instead only confusion
So he asked the witch
“Why not come into the light
I don’t see so well”
When she refused vehemently
He knew what he must do
He talked his way closer to the tree
And picking its fruit
He bragged on
His delicious
From his journey abroad
The witch growing curious
And then jealous
Demanded a taste

He offered timidly
“I don’t know …”
“I’ll take it! It’s mine!”
She hissed
Grabbing it with her thin,veined hands

“Well,I don’t understand,trickery! This is only an apple!”
She screeched
“No no you have to eat it”
“Well,only a bite and then I’ll have your blood!! You’ll see”
She moved through the shadows
Her eyes glimmering red
He waited hearing her bite down
On the apple
With a burning hiss
Light cut through the fog
Her high pitched
And shattering wail
As light cut through her
It was as he expected
Her weakness was light

Grabbing his axe
He cut down the tree
And continued on his journey
If you’re lucky
You still see
A pillar of light
Under a full moon
but be weary
Of the glimmering
Red eyes
Beside you
On your way
Evil things use
Beauty to feed


IMG_5184.JPG(photo-that time I met batman and robin)

I’ve written about children
Earlier today
And as you know…
I have a brother
Named reagan
Whom you all love

Reagan is like a bundle of energy
He drives me up the wall
And yet he’s a lot of fun too
Just the other day
I went to have breakfast with reagan
He likes to introduce me to his new projects …
Volcanoes (real volcanoes,violent, that he made in the out of doors)
Legos (not the kind you grew up with.the kind that cause dementia)
Books (real books,like the diary of a wimpy kid and other stories that are similar…)

But recently
He’s taken on a vocal challenge

For example
On his first hayride
He yelled out
“Oh noo,we’re coming too close to the wood!”
Just like that
“The wood”

And then
At breakfast
He looked at me and laughed
With his very chipmunk like laugh
And said
“You were trying to be funny,ehh?”
Just like that
In a very Canadian way
My brother continued
To harass me with the best
Sarcasm I’ve ever experienced
In my life
It is Genetic
It skipped me
I am simply a very vain smart ass
But he and my older brother
They can cut you down
“You are 25,ehh
so when are you going to find a lover and get married like Jonathan,ehh.”
“You really have a fancy beard,ehh?”

It was like some kind of witchcraft
I cannot explain it
But it was hilarious
I don’t know where he met a Canadian
We live in Alabama
And he is homeschooled

Maybe in a video game
Maybe on tv
Who knows
But he’s hilarious
And also 10
So I thought I would document this

The Blob fish song

(For Reagan)

Psychrolutes marcidus
If this is your name
Then you’re a blob fish
That’s what scientist say
Cause when you’re a fish
At the bottom of the sea
Off the coast of New Zealand
Other people name you
Or I guess they don’t speak
Your language
I don’t know

I know you’re feeling kind of gross
But up here isn’t that much better
And you get to float around because of your gross
And it helps you eat

I wonder what it’s like down there
I’m sure it probably gets boring
Doing nothing all your life
Just floating there
But then again
Maybe not
My dog does that an awful lot
He doesn’t seem to mind
And then I imagined
Life at the bottom of the sea
And being so blob and slime
It wasn’t that hard After …
I found mums Crisco jar

In reality
The physical element
Did not help things along
Only in mind
Only in my mind !
Oh great day
It’s hard to open doors
And the bathroom
When you really have to go
Or answer the phone
With Crisco on your hands !!!!

So in my mind
Sitting on the floor
I really started to feel like
Psychrolutes marcidus

Until I thought about
Giant Earth worms …
And whether or not
They like crisco …

But that was yesterday
And yesterday’s gone
And now I’ve really gotta go
Like really gotta go
And that’s all I know
About Psychrolutes marcidus
I hope that’s your real name
And remember you’re
Really kind of rare
So that means you’re
Kind of awesome


Venus fly trap song

(For Reagan)

It’s so tragic
It’s so harmonic
It’s so hilarious
The deals we make
Board games are
who needs
There’s sandwiches
Stacked against
The plate
And Venus fly traps
Out on a mountain
I’ve not climbed just yet

(Hey! Hah!
Don’t go over there
It’s poison isn’t back from the lab just yet…oh it’s effective.)

Who needs
When there’s planets
And plants
And dirt
And math
And numbers
And sandwiches
With macaroni
That I don’t know
The name of
Venus fly traps
On a mountain
That I didn’t climb yet
But I woke up sore
After that
I don’t know
I don’t know


The amazing Sundew plant. The balls of liquid are scented to attract flies, who once they approach to investigate become stuck to them. The stems then digest the fly slowly and he dies a venus fly trap style death
Image source flickr

John mark

My name is John Mark
I’m 10
But that’s not important
What’s important
Is the fact that I hate breakfast
I’m almost certain breakfast
Started from prison
The getting up early

Who needs that kind of stress
In their day
Especially if it’s summer
But whatever
My parents say it’s important
To eat so I “grow strong ”
I defy them on this subtle conditioning
Why grow strong?
So I can join the slave machine of corporate America and capitalism,
No thanks.
Mom usually gives me the stare when I say this
But since I have to meet Dillon
At the phone booth today
I guess I should eat my waffles

This is where things got weird
Because these were a Belgium recipe
And I think they must use some special ingredient
Because as soon as I ate my waffles
I felt different
Started thinking in french
Like,I grabbed a napkin and wrote
In french….

When I finally met up with Dillon
He had a Dutch candy bar in his backpack and I decided I would test my theory out
And after eating it
I could speak Dutch
Man,this was way weird.

But boy
Just think what I could do with this.