2020 #30

The older I get

The more I begin to see this play out

1 in 4 women and 1 out of 6 men are sexually abused in their lifetime; (Department of Justice) In 8 out of 10 rape cases, the victim knows the attacker; (Department of Justice)

In case you never heard or someone never told you….

Consent is easy

It can be taught to a child

If she’s not into it

It’s not cool

Stop immediately

If she changes her mind

Just stop

No is a full sentence

If you’re at work

Just treat all the women like they are Dwayne Johnson

You’ll be ok.

Consent doesn’t have to be difficult or confusing. It’s really that simple.

And of course this goes for everyone.

I know, you never really know a person.

Or what goes on behind closed doors

I know men get told a lot of what to do and what not to do

But the same goes for women…

Just because he’s aroused doesn’t mean he’s consenting

There’s that confusion even for the victims of all events ——

Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you’re owed anything

You still need consent

And also

If no one ever told you

You don’t have to hook up at work

Or with your boss

Your job can be just that

A job

So you can pay bills

Consent is when you’re both excited about it

Nothing should be a duty

Or a chore

Or a burden

Life is too short for that

So if you’ve never heard

Now you’ve heard

Top shelf (loaded)

Old love

No love

Be love

Used love

——-

I write to kill

I kill to write

I lay down these words

Like shots on paper

It’s loaded

——-

Hold up

Back up

6ft from the dream

I know you’re fed up

Wore out

Used

And abused

Stretched out

This year is a dead zone

This water’s hot and it’s getting even hotter

try to dream but it’s poison

Be on the right side of history

Everyday is new headline

And you’re stroking out

Stepping the line

It’s over

Now

Refocus your vision

Adjust the antenna

You’ve got to feed and water your dream

Your vision

Get yourself back in this race

All we have is time

Enjoy it

But use it

Use it like top shelf

you can’t afford to waste

So when they get a shot of you

They’ll be willing to invest

——-

I’m stepping back to the details

If you’re gonna be with me

You’re gonna see my dream

We shoulda been like the real Obama’s

Powerhouse couple

Details matter

Blow the roof off of this room

Look at the blood on these steps

I’ve been climbing for centuries

This isn’t rock bottom

It coulda been worse

Treat yourself better

You’re the first draft pick to your own dreams

——-

She walks into the room like she just bought it

She knows what she wants and she gets it

She deals the cards like it’s the hand that she wanted

Here’s the secret

I don’t know an adult that has all the answers

We do the best that we can until we can do better

The whole world is faking

But when you get together

You don’t have to tear someone down to build yourself up better

Silence is power

Listen, words matter…

Hold yourself up

Treat yourself better

If she’s your queen she’ll treat you like her king.

They might say it’s improbable but you won’t hear it because you’ll be unstoppable.

Don’t believe the truth

Image origin unknown

How long can the moon stay hidden?

How long can the sun stay hidden?

How long can the truth stay hidden?

She feels everything deeply

Set apart

On this self isolated ship

Who knows what forms care takes

——

She has revolution for breakfast

She brings it to my bed

You can taste the eclipse on her lips

——

These days are dangerous

I still don’t know, but maybe, I know,

I said I’m tired,

She says she’s wired,

She’s electric

Revolutionary dreams

She’s got the means

She dreams in daylight

——

Her come here eyes

The curve of her body

Her, get back now, couldn’t care less,

Like the ash from her cigarette

She’s hard to forget….

Mute the noise

Photo origin unknown

Hold on

You’re waking up

Put your money where your mouth is

Can you even write a tune

Do you know what it is that you feel?

——

All the soldiers left the post

Ready or not

The new moon is out

The puppet is about to be real

Put your money where your mouth is

Do you know what it is that you bought

Do you do what they spell?

Do you even know what it is that you feel?

——

Hold on

Mute the noise

Main Street is closed

You’re waking up

Don’t be scared

You’re real

Exist above the mainstream

Thank you

For being here

You’re real

Beagle in the City #277 pt 2

We’re all dads here…

Simon: Roll the window down dad. Now, punch it!

Ethan: it’s dark and I can’t see great, so I’m probably not gonna do that. Also, this is the side of the mountain. Dang son!

(We get ran off the road. Hissing begins)

Ethan: (grabs Simon to keep him from falling out the window)

Simon: We’re all gonna die!

Ethan: it’s ok, I’ve got this.

Simon: was that dinosaurs!

Ethan: yes, yes it was, they probably tried to pick up the car.

Simon: Gee dad, the car is making a flub flub sound.

Ethan: That’s the sound of a flat tire.

Simon: I thought ties were already flat.

Ethan: Hey it’s not bad. I’ve got to make a phone call. See how this wheel is bent and the tire is flat.

Simon: Someone is stopping. I’ll go check.

Ethan: Hey I barely have reception. I’ve got to call some folks and see if I have my flash light and jack in the other car.

Simon: It’s ok dad. I told them you’ve got this so we’re OK.

Ethan: ….you did what?

Simon: ….

Ethan: You know what, we’re on the side of the mountain. How about you sit in the car and let me know if you see any bears or mountain lions.

Simon: Whoa…yeah…I can do that.

Living with Crohn’s #3

It’s always really difficult for me to write about my disease.

However, I have noticed a lot of people asking a lot of questions around the inter webs and nets.

And like anything, it’s easier to write a grocery list when you’re hungry, or a love poem when you’re in the passions of desire. Or a country song, when you’re, anything else; Your cat died, your truck was repo-d and your lover left you for whoever did your taxes…

It’s generally easier to write about Crohn’s disease when I’m having a flare up.

Which brings us here. To my bathroom… look around, I’m in the tub. Soaking. Listening to Bob Dylan.

I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease 13 years ago…

This is what a Crohns flare looks like ….
It twists in the gums like a knife
It blisters your lips
It stabs in the gut like hot steel
Your joints ache and pop
You’re exhausted
You can’t eat certain foods that other people can
Your “healthy”
Looks very different.
You present well, because this is invisible.
Most mornings you’re nauseous …
Gut issues affects your brain.
So you fight depression and anxiety… I’ve had Crohn’s disease for 13 years…
It is different because it’s inflammation throughout your body and gut…
And it affects all layers of your gut tissue… You still get up
You still go to work
You do the work
You do the work.
Not everyone can
But I’m glad I can.
This is day three of a flare up
This is what it looks like.
It’s going to be different for everyone.
But if you pay attention and communicate with your people and your healthcare professionals…because they can’t read minds…you can manage this disease. It is a disease. But it doesn’t have to define you or overwhelm you. Let the courage to continue define you. Even in the bad days.

Bleeding Ink #1,477

Some years ask questions

Some years ask for sacrifice

Hold on now, the truth is coming in

——-

Like the tide now,

Some water is deeper

Some hearts are stone

Sunlight is easy

When it’s on her face

Sometimes your city

Burns before your eyes

——-

Some years ask questions

There’s a kid with batteries

He’s playing Star Trek

Red on black

Black on gold

He doesn’t know he’s poor

He just knows he’s happy

When the sun goes down

———

I’ve carried this darkness

Since before my father died

I was there that night

I read his old letters

I cast his demons aside

Some questions get answered

Some you just have to lay down

———

I still see this darkness

I know it will take me

It’s just a matter of when

Some things I won’t understand

But we all are running out of time

I just keep laying words down

——-

They said they found him

With two shotgun shells

Some things are too too heavy

I stood there asking

Was it the darkness

Or was it his heart?

Sometimes you’re happy

And lady

When you smile….

Half of me is sun

Half of me is moon

I learned to live with this darkness

Some days are nightfall

Some days you just have to look for the light

——-

Some years….

Some years

Lady you’re a free girl now

You just keep walking

You’ll make it

A pocketful of questions

A handful of stones that you lay down….

2020#20

I will soon be 31

I’m not 24

25

I’m not what once was

But neither are you

——

I’m waking up to a new way

Same face

New day

——-

These days drag on

It’s just the way we move

In the night

Body to body

Hearts orbiting the sun

The heat in the night

The salt on your skin

Your lips

Hand on my heart

——

These days

They’ll cut you dry

Like stalks in October

They’ll leave you there

You miss the crowds

——

I hope that you fight the madness

Inside your head

I hope you live

——

They say this is the new normal

new world order

I’m here to say

I will thrive

No matter how history decides to record this

With every broken bone

With every flare up

Every sleepless night

I’m not waiting for permission

We have to live

Reach over that wall

Face your cravings

What do you want?

Really?

Stop waiting

You have to live

——

I asked myself a long time ago

How I would manage these days

You have to come home to yourself

I’ll soon be 31

I’m tired

But I’m going to keep walking

2020 #18

Strange days

Stranger people

You’ve seen the headlines

You think the bible is cruel

Look out your front door

If the book is right

Sinner

You better pray

——-

New hurricane

Everyday

——

jerk you around

And you’ll say it’s ok

——

It’s just the game

But you can’t play

You’ve been dealt a losing hand

No one wins out here in the wasteland

——-

If you’re not careful

Look out kid

You’ll be so confused

They’ll have you murder the truth

You’re hanging yourself

Your necks in their noose

They don’t really care

As long as your death is in the news

——-

Strange days

He’s standing in the middle

Worried mind

Tired eyes

He can’t win

He was born a dead man in working shoes ….

Just a pawn in their game

——-

Now like dylan said

This place ain’t doing me any good

I used to care, man in the middle,

but things have changed.

——-

I knew a woman

With eyes like diamonds

Her lips were crimson sweet

and when she laughed

It was gin to me…

She played her guitar

Recited her poetry

And I knew then

Everybody loses

Everybody wins

But you can never come back

And re live