Welcome to your Roaring 20s

Your twenties
This is what you envision
You live on your own
Life is going to move pretty fast
You are going to hit the top
And then build an addition to it

And then you’re going to settle down
And just enjoy your fortune
And fortunate life
That God has blessed you with

And life says …
“It ain’t gonna happen”
At some point we all become bohemians
I don’t know when it happens
But I moved my bed into a separate
Threw out the god forsaken frame
And just put it in the floor below the window
I have no money
I’m not successful
I’m a student
Who loves people
Which really means
I tolerate adults
And listen to their stories
But show me a child
And I’ll sit in the floor and colour with them while they sing every song from Frozen
I’m almost 100 percent positive
That it was never intended I grow up
There must have been a mistake
Somewhere a distraction was made
And the accident that was intended to take my young adult life missed me
And here I am
Maybe it was when I tried to rinse pasta and stir it with my hand ?
(Don’t stir pasta with your hand)
Or when I helped that kid change his tire and out of no where,hailstorm.
Or when I left at two am to get a coke
I have cravings late at night
For a sandwich and I have to have a coke,ok
Unfortunately I wake up with this craving and always forget I have stairs
I remember one deadfall later
But this night
What I got was two tickets
Because apparently I forgot to get a car tag and it’s raining
So you are not not not going to talk your way out of that ticket
Unless you’re British
Living in America

But seriously
When did we become adults?
Much less artist
We moved
I haven’t got money
I have no power
I’m living with oil lamps
And a bed in the floor
And piles and piles of books
I feel like I jumped through time
It’s fine
It will get better
I have a plan
I’m just like
This is crazy
I was talking with an instructor
at school (this is one thing I’m good at)
And she was saying how
Art majors is where it’s at
You can’t get any other job right now
So everyone is going after what they originally wanted
What they have talents in
What they are gifted for
And it’s really the rise of the artist
Free thinking
Creative individual
So if you relate
Just hang in there
It will be ok
It will
This is our roaring 20s
Nobody has it together
No one
We all just fake it
Like Indiana jones
We take it a day at a time
Some just fake it better
And that’s ok
Have a great weekend everybody


These are your days

Write about what you know
That’s what they say
But there really isn’t much that I know
Or much to say

I was homeschooled
I can plumb a house
Build a barn
Irrigation and anything else outside
I can put together a pretty mean 3 point sermon and sell it .
But what once was sincere
Doesn’t mean anything to me .
That’s what I learned ….
People change
We change
That’s all I really know

We grew up
We were young
When we saw the towers fall
9/11 changed everything
Suddenly this evil numbing shadow fell across our lives
It affected our dreams
Our plans …everything changed
Our childhood shifted
And we stopped coloring
We started thinking like adults
And then the storms came
Mother Nature took back what was hers before we built cities
I learned that things don’t matter
What we define ourselves by
Can be gone tomorrow
All we have is our experiences
Our memories
And how we live and treat people

We grew a little older
And they told us to believe in our country, to do as we’re told, that there’s a certain acceptable way and pattern to do things .
We shook our heads
We choose to think for ourselves
We write our dreams on walls
We leave it on scraps of paper

At one point we fell for someone
I still see her skin
Our clothes in the floor
she changed so fast
Slamming cabinets
And then she was fine
Only to return again
Her words cut like a knife
And then she left
And I didn’t do a thing
I faded out
I blamed myself
We were just kids
Attempting to be adults
We gave ourselves scars
That never really healed
And now I still react because of it
Much afraid

We act like its a big deal
Like these things define us
But they don’t
Take it all away
What do you have ?
An angry man saying
” they don’t pay you for waiting around ”
An angry woman because he’s gone
A world changing faster than we can see

We are defined by questionable wars
Identity crisis
And vanity
We hunger for nothing
We are taken by everything
Blindsided by knowledge
We are still young
And we’ve been shot through

So here I am all these years later
Older but young
I can’t sleep
I see things
My mind races
But when I talk with her
When I’m with her
I feel close
I feel calm
And I actually rest
I press my eyes closed
And I hope
I hope I bring some kind of rest
For her

Write what you know
What do you know ?

” these are the days that must happen to you .”
– Walt Whitman

“A Lesson in Entropy”

“So, kid, you’ve got to live,
and not just that stoic existence you’ve 
been stomping trough all this time.
You’ve got to be kind,
you’ve got to fall in love,
fall out of love,
no matter how much it hurts 
 because my god,
it’s worth it. 
Don’t let the world turn you to stone;
you’ve got to feel.
And sometimes,
your heart will threaten 
to march right out of your chest 
because you’re so fucking full of it all-
of the people, 
the places,
the endless days,
the eternal nights-
and kid, that’s fine.
Be brave.
Courage isn’t measured by the 
number of people you’ve turned away
or by the counts of the nights you’ve 
spent alone because you refuse to 
give someone the chance to love you. 
Being alone is not poetic;
you’ve got to let them in.
Let them peel back your skin 
and waltz into your bloodstream 
and love them,
love them,
love them.
And finally, kid,
your life has already begun.
Stop waiting.
Chaos is already underway.”
– Emily Palermo, from “A Lesson in Entropy”


The universe will catch you

We saw cities fall
We saw marriages fail
We saw Mother Nature take back what’s hers
We saw governments rise
We felt empty and void
We didn’t know what to do
Or how to do it
We just felt it calling us
Shot to pieces

We take these empty places
And we pack them with light
Hoping they stick together
Keep us warm in the night

We stare on into the morning
With blood shot eyes
Caring very little what it brings us
We’ve seen the stars fall from the sky

We stumble in against the current
We try to live the best we can
Ignoring the the thing at the back of our neck

We take people
use them
Or ignore them
We take what they offer us and
We pack these empty places
with their light
Knowing soon it will make no difference
How it began
How well we played
We can’t escape our end
We will give in to the thing
That takes up so much
Energy so much life

Maybe this is why the stars fall…
Maybe we carry the universe inside us
And it’s void
Maybe we pack it with hearts and
Jazz, language and sex
2 am conversations and drunken emptiness .
Maybe we pack it with light …until we give in …
Maybe it falls from the heavens then …
Maybe that’s what that is .
Whatever it is
I hope the universe catches us …

1 thing

I’ve missed you
I can’t say how
Or why
But I’ve missed
in my arms
The smell of flowers in your hair
And your kiss
I’ve missed
falling asleep all at once on the phone
and snoring …
the way you softly talk in your sleep
I’ve missed that
chasing the sun
With your ray bands
Driving my car at night
dancing as victor
Because I can’t see for the lights
warming my hands in your sweater
attempting to be tall
You see
It’s not one thing
It’s all these little things
That make a beautiful
Girl I know
And I’m missing her
I just thought you should know .

The thing at the center of my throat

The thing
eating away at my gut
Closing off my lungs
Pushing the blood through my heart
The deep realization

I like you
I like the way you enter a room
With purpose and unrelenting focus
I like the way you fill a room with …
With light when you smile
I like how you always fight with your hair when it’s up
How it falls framing your brown eyes
And how it looks when it’s down …
I like how you fuss with your desk at work
And hold your paperwork under your chin and your mouth
I like how you always chase the sun and summer
And your crazy obsession with sunflowers
I like how you read books I never finish

I like you
I like that I am liking you
I like how we talk every night
For several hours
Until we fall asleep …
I like how we argue
I like how we need to hear each other

I like this
This time
This moment
This place

But I find it hard to breathe
I find myself wanting to tell you things
I find my self afraid
Because ….
The air I breathe in a room …empty of you … Is unhealthy …
A day without you …
And I miss you ..
I miss you …

I catch myself just watching you
Taking it all in …
Everything you did today
Was beautiful
Are beautiful
And I miss you
That’s the thing

It ain’t love

” It ain’t love ”
He said
” I’m here to forget
It’s that tattoo she got way back in college
Hiding just under her jeans

It ain’t love I’m here to forget
It’s the way she danced , how she moves,the way she speaks

Her hair falling down underneath a wide open sky with no one around but me .

No it ain’t love I’m here to forget
Not with empty bottles around my feet .

It’s ME
walking out of her dream
Cause I just couldn’t see .
All of that
was her loving me .”

Smoke filled the room as I watched this man lit him another cigarette and listened

“The long nights
Front porch dances none of that …she looks better , looking back ….but she wasn’t worth it . ”

I sat there
And I wondered
How often we go out to get something
Just as someone brings it in
How this man was no more in love
Than he was on that front porch
On that long night
sometime ago in his past
He was simply hating himself
For reasons unseen

And I thought ….
How many of us
accept any love given to us
never giving never truly receiving
Just taking

How many of us
use love …

How many of us

Never even recognize love
When it’s present

And which
If any
Is worse

Lights in the sky

Spontaneous as lightning
If you could see inside the hearts of men
Would you want to stay there ?

Do you feel that you could own it ?

We want to live
We want to see
We want to feel
To fly to dream

Light becomes dark
So we make a spark to see a flame

We make decisions that break us
But with every broken bone
We lived

We hate we cry
We live we die

We love
We dream

We remember


The way you smell like spring
That tilt of your head,crinkle of your nose as your smile breaks into a laugh .
Her hair falls like sunlight over her eyes.

She creates her own light

This is what we carry with us

But if you stay
If you should stay …..
That’s the question inside all of us .

We’re as spontaneous as lightning
And we dream the impossible dreams
It keeps us up at night
But you’re our light .

I swear that’s a good thing .
I swear people like you write our dreams .
I swear I knew nothing
And yet, so many something’s

So we are here
With the lightning
Lights in the sky