I never really realised just how old you really were—-just how young I really was …
——
And I know it’s cool
To have all these issues
And I know
It’s cool to say “they never tell you…”
But truth is-that’s all they ever tell you…
——
I tend to remember growing, bleeding, living…
Trying to find a way to spend what time I could, with you,
It’s strange realising your parents are just people like us
And it’s strange when they are gone
Suddenly any issues
All the rooms
All the drawers
That they occupied in your mind
All the questions
They are suddenly emptied
Fresh clean paper
You spent your whole life writing notes on – now it’s all empty
I guess I learned
Early
I did what I could while I could
And I’ve always been glad about that…
Sitting under a tree
Only talking about , God , sports and politics…just so I wouldn’t trip when you were gone …
But I remember working when I was little
And I remember the smell of all the old trucks…loaded with produce from the markets and listening to every braves game while we sold produce on the side of the road…
And I just wanted to say
We all turned out ok.
Because when you’re gone
It’s not like leaving home
You’re gone
Gone
Gon
So take what you need
What you can live with
Because everything’s eventually gone
And I won’t be here forever
I will eventually dissolve
And
It’s only words on paper
But all of this hate and bitterness
It’s not cool to stay a mess
I remember all the hate I held
Turned to ash staining my hands
The night you left
Realising
All that was left was the blood stain on the carpet …
And maybe it’s just –
Whether it’s love, whether it’s hate , whether it’s pride or Pain
Francis: what’s to eat! I put my order in days ago. Who’s running this joint anyway. Ethan: Hey now, you big jerk… Simon: Hey I was thinking we could eat sandwiches. Pastas. Oh wait wait…pasta sandwiches… Ethan: (gags) it’s ok (gags again) how about a spinach salad…with salman…maybe- Simon: what’s a s-s-a-lad?? Ethan: ….it’s spinach and greens…with oil and vinegar…salt and pepper…don’t use ranch it ruins it…like axe body spray… Simon: I don’t get it? France: Yeah me either, with all the oil and vinegar? Where do you put the lasagna? Ethan: Great day, Simon, a salad is all the stuff you eat outside. And Francis, we are not having lasagna… Francis: ( big eyes) Ethan: we’re compromising for spaghetti and garlic toast… Simon: Yeahh Toast!
Francis: ugh I knew this would happen. You lost your job didn’t you?
Ethan: No, I’m on vacation.
Francis: So I still get snax?
Ethan: Yeah, you still get snax.
Francis: What are you going to do on vacation?
Ethan: I’m going to look at self publishing. You know , I was hoping I guess, that some publisher would notice my blog and publish that, but I’m just going to go ahead and start taking the initiative.
Francis: (coughs) ugh…I mean I don’t know to tell you this…but sure…your inspirational poetry is kind of really dark and heavy…I’m sure someone will buy it.
Ethan: Ooof. Hey, look who shared my post on Instagram…
Simon: Hey dad! Are you still at work? Ethan: Nah I’m on my way home… Simon: Oh. Well, you’re bringing home another bag of chips right? Ethan: No. why? What did you do?
Simon: oh nothing nothing. Hey did you know we have eagles out here? I think his name is Brad, or Chad.
Ethan: What did you do? Simon: You got yourself a beer right?
Simon: Bad news dad. I’ve decided I’m not talking to you. Ethan: Oh really? Simon: Yah, your polls are dropping. It doesn’t look good. Ethan: Dang, and I was going to make sandwiches too… Simon: I mean, I still have to eat. But I’m still not talking to you. Until I get what I want. Ethan: What do you want ? Simon: Hold on…I have to ask Francis, I can’t remember. Francis: Enjoy your SADwiches….We’re voting you out of here. Ethan: That’s the last time I leave NPR on the radio for you guys…
Dad says we probably ran off the road last night because of the Dinosaurs!
It was OK though. He grabbed me and kept me from falling out the open window.
Dad showed me how the wheel bent when we hit that persons driveway…
My dad is the greatest. I knew he had everything under control. So when someone stopped to say hello, I went and told them “we’ve got this.” Just like dad always says… he says “it’s ok, I’ve got this. Everything is under control.” Real calm like that. It makes me feel better and it must have made them feel better too. Because then they left.
After that, dad asked me to sit in the car and let him know if I saw any mountain lions or bears. He kept asking for a Tea Bar. But I didn’t see any tea in the car so I just waited.
Today, dad says, we are going to go get a REAL jack and a Tea…T Bar and Flash Light.
