Francis: Hey,when is supper around here?
Ethan: you already ate.
Francis: what about seconds and snacks and desserts?
Ethan: Francis, I don’t know how to tell you, but you’re fat.
Francis: Lies! But, I am hungry.
Ethan: you’re on a diet
Francis: abuse! 
Francis: This is my winter coat. . . It’s to protect me from predators.
Ethan: does it protect you from diabetes?
Simon: Hey mom! Listen, I’ve got a great idea. You should cook your way through Julia Child’s cookbook and let ME be your taste tester! I’m really good!
L: Really?
Simon: I’m not going to lie, I’ve got a full schedule, I already have a job. Being Dads best friend and all. But I think I could make it work.
L: But you don’t really work…
Simon: I do to, it’s real important! And when he’s gone to work, I am the protector!
L: Ooookay. If you say so.
Simon: Daad mom doesn’t believe me. Tell her my job is real important.
Ethan: What’s that? Hey, thanks for being my best friend.
Simon: I told you!
Simon: So what do I need to know, about the cats…
Casper: Well, first, they are not dogs. And they never will be.
Simon: Ok ok, well, how do I play with him?
Casper: They don’t do fetch. Sometimes, they pounce on you, while you’re sleeping. And sometimes, while you’re just walking down the stairs…
Simon: When do they sleep?
Simon: do they know about chase the stick ?
Or roll in the grass?
Or chase the ball?
Or walk around the park?
Casper: No, but sometimes, they break things and you get blamed for it. And sometimes they jump out of no where and scare you.
Simon: Scandal!
Francis Cash: My name is Francis, I have the bloodline of royalty. 
Francis: unfortunately, I was not living the life of royalty. I was in a shelter. But then I met this nice man. 
Francis: I could see opportunity.
Ethan: This is Francis, we decided to adopt him. Simon, helped, I figured we could watch Star Trek and the X- Files together and he wouldn’t be scared.
Francis: He seemed nice enough. I decided I would let him live with me. We could work something out. I would have to put up with the doggo, but I could tell this was a writer. 
Francis: Ahh yes, I could sense the stories.
Simon: Heyyyyv Francis!
Francis: Sniff my paw,it’s soft.
Simon: No, no, nope, I may have fell for that the first time and the second time…but I’m not going to fall for it again.
Simon: what do you even do with a cat?? I have so many questions. . .
Simon: Dad! Dad! No no no no no no no no!
Ethan: Hey what is wrong man? Breathe, now, sit down. Ok. Much better.
Simon: Someone stole the bed. I know, because I was going to bed, but it’s not there because SOMEONE STOLE it!
Ethan: No one stole it.
Simon: They didn’t ?
Ethan: Nah, it was just Aliens. You know, (whistles X-Files theme) 
Simon: I knew it!
Ethan: No, I’m putting together a new bed. Are you gonna help me or not?
Simon: I don’t think we can get this done in time for bed..
Ethan: Sure we can!
Ethan: I may have made a miscalculation on the difficulty of this…
12 hours later. Or, the next day.
Ethan: Simon! I finally finished! Come on, let’s go to bed!
L: Did he not go to sleep?
Ethan: No, he waited all night.
L: well, hey, I’ve got to ask you something.
L: Guys? Guys?
Ethan: zzzz
Simon:zzzzz
I came home so weary
Couldn’t write
Couldn’t play
Don’t you know
I had the blues
I looked at my dog
I said
Beagle
Don’t you know
None of us has perfect days
He looked at me
And this is what he said
I had two perfect days
Walked around the block
We shared a hot dog
You checked the mail
And I checked the trash
We watched the tv
Any day with you dad
Is a perfect day to me
Yeah best friends till the end
I said
What about day two?
I’ve got the blues
He said
We got up
Cooked breakfast
We ate some bacon
Walked around the block
You checked the mail
I checked the trash
Any day with you dad
Is a perfect day to me
I said
That’s right
Best friends till the end
(Update)
Garf passed away during the morning. 06/22/2019
He had been struggling with a collapsing trachea. Me and Simon found him this morning. I wrote this to prepare myself for the inevitable a couple of days ago. He will be greatly missed but I know he was happy. )
#adoptdontshop #adopt #shelterpets
Garfunkel: I was born on the streets, fighting for a place to eat, covered in fleas, and broken teeth. And then I got adopted, and suddenly,man… I didn’t know it could be so good.
Meals everyday, and Jazz, Quincy Jones, Frank Sinatra, Dino, man I’m talking about the groove brotha…
It’s been nice…
And the crime shows
The sunny days in the park
Man I’ve lived a good life…
The back scratches I’m going to miss…
But it’s ok…
Ethan: You know, it’s ok if you have to go buddy…
I wish you could stay, but you’ve been the absolute joy and it’s been so good taking care of you. You’re a good boy. Thank you for being my friend. I won’t hold it against you if you are tired. I understand. I’ll tell you a secret, you’re my favorite.
Simon: Dad, What is wrong with Garf?
Ethan: He’s just old buddy, and he’s got to go. Everything eventually has to go.
Simon: will I go?
Ethan: Well, yeah, one day, you and I both will.
Simon: Well, if you’re brave I’ll be brave. And if we both have to go one day, I guess I won’t be scared.
We will still play catch though right?
Ethan: You bet, and we will cook together too.
Simon: Cool.
