Beagle in the City #133

Simon: Ugh, slow down or open a window dad. Your driving is making me car sick. I think you need lessons. 

Ethan: You need to stay away from the cocoa and chocolate. 

Simon: Oh boy, did you bring any? Open a window, this car is so small, I can’t breathe.

Ethan: I want you to meet someone. 

Dog: Hey guys! My name is Megablaster! But you can call me anything. 

Simon: Hey! My name is Get over here! 

Ethan: Please, Your name is Simon. 

Simon: Who’s that? 

Ethan: …

Humphrey: I like you. It’s as if we understand each other. Do you enjoy cheese? 

Ethan: I’m going to call you Rufus, or Humphrey. I’m also lactose intolerant. But my wife…

Simon: Hey! Hey! Hey! Have you ever..have you ever seen grass? Or rode in a car ? You probably have. I rode in a car just now. Have you ever had chocolates? 

Humphrey: I think your dog is broke. He keeps offering me drugs. 

Ethan: He’s an awkward homeschooler. I’m sorry.  

Humphrey: It’s ok. 

Simon: Hey watch how fast I can run!! 

Beagle in the City #132

Ethan: Uhm yes, hello. This is Ethan. My dog,the idiot, Simon. He ate five  Hershey kisses. Do I need to do anything? 

Vet: Did he eat the wrappers? 

Ethan: No. no, I don’t think he liked those. 

Vet: Was it milk chocolate or dark?

Ethan: milk with almonds 

Vet: (laughs) ok ok he should be ok. Just monitor him for a few hours, he might get a little sick to his stomach but he should be ok. 

Ethan: Thank you. 

Simon: Hey, dad, how about some more of those chocolates. Those are delicious. 

Ethan: You- you – idiot 

Simon: (under the table) It’s ok. You can just package them for me instead. Like a present. 

Ethan: I’ll show you a present. You scared me half to death.

 Simon:  Seems a bit drastic but ok.  (You can never be too agreeable when your human is emotional) 

Beagle in the City #123

Simon: Hey dad! Mom won’t answer my question. I think it’s because she doesn’t smart like you 

Ethan: I’m sorry. Run that by me again? 

Simon: Mom told me to ask you what doggie cancer is.

Ethan: Nope! (Grabs jacket to leave room.) 

Simon: What! Can I eat it? Do you not know? Let’s look it up! 

Ethan: Nope I can’t. I’m late for my underwater breathing excercises. I sure hope today is piranha day!