Francis Cash #14

Ethan: uhm,so Francis, I’m sorry I forgot your birthday. I thought you was mad because I adopted another cat…

Simon: It was pretty great when Atticus pooped down your back.

Ethan: Shhh we don’t talk about that…


Francis: Today’s my birthday?
Ethan: Yeah man, we’ve been through a lot together…you want some fish sticks? Maybe some catnip and a ball?
Francis: Im gonna fluff you up! You can’t forget about my birthday! What if I just forgot to wake you up to go to work!
Ethan: I actually have an alarm and an inner alarm…
Francis: This is an outrage! A conspiracy! Sorcery!
Ethan: Do you know,what all of those words mean?
Francis: Plagiarism! I Demand justice!
Ethan: …
Simon: ….
Atticus: …
Ethan: yeah he’s just throwing words around…

Happy Birthday France, thanks for being my friend. I love you buddy.


There and back again 

  
If you’re an artist,you like to think you’re the best artist. But you know you’re not the best artist. Because …you know how you get your English on the ball. 

I like to believe I’m an open minded old soul. 

But I know I’m not Fitzgerald or even Hemingway. I’ve got almost five years archived on this site-and I read through some old stuff…I’m definitely better than I was And worse than I’ll be. Understand?

I say that because …

Someone asked me to tell them a story…so I did. I set my pen down and began 

Ronald McDonald the clown. Came to being because the founders wife had an affair…and an illegitimate son. When he found out. He went into such a rage that he took both of them to the basement of one of his stores 

Murdering  his wife 

He fixed her body 

And the next day 

Introduced the rib sandwhich 

But he locked the son 

For 17 years 

Downstairs 

To slice pickles 

He never saw anyone 

After the founder died 

The new wife,feeling sorry for the child cleaned him up with makeup and a workers suit. 

With makeup and his long red hair 

She led him through the store 

From the basement 

Only 

The children thought he worked there 

And they loved him 

Thus 

Ronald the clown came to be. 

The problem with this story is 

Everyone believed me. 

I told them I made it up 
Just like this morning 

While waiting for Simon (our dog) to take a shit.

I thought of a blind kid 

Eric

Who can see colours and energy…

But nothing else 

And he hates hospitals 

Because he can see the spirits 

Moving from room to room 

Only

No one believes him 

Until his uncle dies 

And Eric is the only one in the room with him. 

I have no idea what to do with that. 

It just came to me at 6am while I stood freezing and watched my beagle sniff the ground for nine days until he found his “spot” where he shits  in a half circle. 

Some things come to us . Not all of it will be good. But some of it will be great. And all of it has that potential. 

But only if we put it out there.

Today is my birthday. 

I have been here almost 5 years. 

Thank you for staying with me. 

And for those who stayed 

For watching me grow. 

Grace

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I knew a girl named Grace
She lived inside the city
She couldn’t talk
But
She could say more
With her eyes
Than most of us
Say within a lifetime
Of words
Her laugh could make flowers grow
And was as spontaneous
As lightning

She preferred out
To in
Water
Over land
Rain
Always rain

She was a painter
An artist
And with her colours
And a touch
Of magic
Her works
Were like windows
Of expression

She always painted barefoot
colour splashed
From elbow to heel
She played piano better than anyone else I knew
Even though her left side
Was always numb
From an accident when she was young

I remember she loved children
She never forgot a birthday
With a gentle pat and a kiss
On the forehead
She always had something
For them

People came from miles around
To buy her magic
These windows of expression
But still
They asked for words…

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9 within the spectrum

This is Reagan
He’s just turned nine
He celebrated by going to Chuck E.Cheese’s

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What you don’t know is that Reagan has autism
Autism is a spectrum disorder
Meaning Reagan is somewhere on a spectrum scale
I’ve written about Reagan before
how autism changed my life
But in a single year
Reagan has substantially grown
And made steps outside of his comfort zone…
He is still Reagan
Creative
Musically inclined
Friendly
But he has developed a sarcasm
And a taste for adventure
Unique and truly his own
Where as before
If I said it’s raining cats and dogs
Or the world is black and white
He would take it literally
Now he understands and will be quick to reply – not just repeat

Today, if you ask Reagan how he is?
he will likely say ” I’m doing ok , how are things with you?”
And then proceed to inform you all about the wonder of
Sky landers
And little big planet ( video games )
And how he has a passport and will be going to Africa soon .
He is open to change , inviting or not …
He is open to meeting new people
( constantly on the look out for a future wife for me – don’t ask me why )
A genius,really.
I know in my heart whatever Reagan does and wherever life takes him
He will succeed
Because he doesn’t see the world as a dangerous place
Where dreams are unreachable
He is going to Africa at the age of nine
He is capable
For him
Just at the age where we learn
To ” dream smaller” or ” settle”
That certain things just can’t be done
The world is expanding into a land of opportunity
Where the only walls
Are the ones he builds himself
But that’s true for any of us

The only walls holding us back
Are the ones we build ourselves
There is nothing but opportunity
We can grow
We don’t have to live a life held to our past
We can take it and learn from it
And then be open to the opportunity
Present in the now
For something completely
Different
Like Fitzgerald said –
” The world only exists in your eyes. You can make it as big or as small as you want’
So stay passionately curious
And expand your borders
Personally
And globally
And like Reagan
Be excited and passionate about it
And why shouldn’t you be?
This is your story after all.

Saturday

Saturday . I like Saturdays, mostly because it means I get to be off on Sunday and Monday . But – now that it’s football weather , it means I get to miss every game this season . Again. My boss knows I’m a Saban fan , Roll Tide, so I do get off for the Iron Bowl and National Championship . The two which alter the very existence of life and how we function in The business world . Entire business deals hang in the balance of these games … Friendships are lost and made … There isn’t a city official or vehicle or anything to be seen during these games … Our city becomes a ghost town … And I don’t even live in Tuscaloosa . It’s quite entertaining .

I also like the people who come in the store on Saturdays …
There’s Marlboro man . A farmer from Michigan , always buys two packs of Marlboro lights . He has a different kind of rough about him. Kind of walks like his joints are made of rusty chain links . He always updates me on his trips back to Michigan. Or he’ll tell how he met his wife while living in Texas , how when he was young he had a huge ” big ass job with a firm that made him the shit ”
And how he had to have a yard with trees and his own space … So he could function while he had this job just to relax. It’s always small talk …
We just stand by his F4million and something Diesel ( it’s the biggest truck I’ve ever seen )
And we talk about life .
Saving money , making money , what makes you happy . Really happy .
For him , it’s family , going back to Michigan for a farm wedding , everyone sits on hay bales and they cater with food raised off their farm , no tux , just nice comfortable suits , friends and family . In Michigan you’re raised around beer and drinking … ” but there’s still what we call city slickers , they come in and think they’re big shit and get drunk , ruin everything , trying to prove how much of a man or how grown they are …”
It’s always great to talk with this guy . It’s just great .

And then there is another older guy …
He always has a story to tell … These are short … But brought to memory by whatever his total is .
Maybe it’s the cal of an old British gun he used back in “’79 while hunting on the FL GA line …”
You just never know …
He’s a little more spontaneous …
We talk … Well … I listen …
While he talks about women , cooking , and living . He always asks me about my love life , if I’ve started school and
I should really go into marketing , I would be the only man in class …” prospects any man would envy… ”
And on and on …

There are lots of people
And stories …
Yes
I overlook a lot
Screaming children , angry people ,
But I notice a lot
A Mother who gives her son the toy from the machine BEFORE she begins her shopping … Reverse psychology …
Kid doesn’t ask for a thing the whole time he’s in the store .
Children are my favorite
I’ve had kids dressed as iron man jump out of isles and punch me in the gut
Other kids spit on me
but all of them remember my name …
And most stop crying when I walk up
Special needs children calm down when I stand beside them .
5 year old girls sing me their favorite 5 songs they learned this week ,Just before they Educate me on why I should watch The Ninja Turtles .

I don’t know why these things happen
I don’t know why for my bday
Mrs Kathy is bringing me cake
Mrs ,Williams; home made spaghetti sauce
Ms Abby is Mailing a box of home made cookies from MN .
Some other guy is bringing me home made Blue berry Wine .
I just know
People are nice .
Even with all the Syria
And all the pain
The broken hearts
The confusion
The games that Au fans are going to lose – again .
It really is a nice life …
You just have to see people .
One person at a time .
and get to know them .
That’s what it’s about .

That’s what it’s about .
You can’t change a person
You don’t have to open up to them
Tell them what you’re about
But you can listen
Most people never listen
People are always showing you what they’re about , who they are …
You just have to look differently .
And pay attention .

I’m not saying any of this to brag
I have the worst memory
Like I don’t know why anyone finds me interesting or anything …
For example …
An old friend of mine tells me about a drink I should mix ….
Vodka ,
white grape juice ,
cream soda
( I hate cream soda . She knows I hate cream soda . Why cream soda? )

I get home
Decide to try it
I have no idea what she said
Can’t remember
Something about root beer ?
I have root beer
Vodka and root beer
Close enough
( let that sink in )

Worst.
Worst..it was sooo bad .
Furthest from ” close enough ”
I thought I was gonna die
I almost threw up
It was terrible
Good thing I left an open bottle of root beer on the counter .

I wish you could have seen her face when I told her just how bad HER recommendation was .
After she stopped laughing …
” I never said anything about root beer and besides you left out the white grape juice , well done .”

Like I said , I don’t know , I don’t have a clue ..
But everything is temporary …
That’s something I can’t shake …
As Christians we are constantly ready for death ..
But how many of us are ready to live ?
I’ve seen so many people leave …
Nothing lasts forever
we are constantly making ourselves
Trying to figure ourselves out
Trying to fix things
Each other

I don’t know
My thoughts are pretty simple
Be good
Be honest
Be sincere
Do better
Work hard .
But most of all…
Be real .
The world is flawed
But we don’t have the world
We have each other
The people in front of us
The people passing us
The people leaving us
The people meeting us
You don’t have to be anything
Just the best you that you can be.
That’s what I tell the kids anyway .
Be the best you that you can be .
If you find yourself thinking about someone , let them know .
” .. I thought about you today … ”

It’s a small act , like a smile .
Or a hug .
But don’t we like those things ?

So it’s Saturday
I like Saturdays .
Especially now that the leaves are turning crimson …
Roll Tide .

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