Bleeding Ink 1,604

There’s all these voices

I look around the room

I close my eyes

Some raise a glass

Expect me to just hate women

My phone blows up

“Look at this.”

“Go to therapy.”

“Take 4 years.”

Everyone has an opinion

I watch the room

I spent all those years

Doing what I thought was best

Buying flowers

Writing letters

Making dinner

Dances in the kitchen

I still didn’t do everything right, I guess

It’s not one persons fault

I won’t complain

I’m not going to cry in my beer

I’ve seen that

Too too many times

I watch the room

I feel nothing

I feel nothing at all

That’s the worst part

I don’t hurt

I’m not angry

I cannot possibly drink enough

And I feel nothing at all

“You know what you should do? You should go sniff and hit everything you can.”

But I feel nothing at all…

Only the blues

There’s an isolation inside

And I know

There’s going to be a morning

When the sun will rise

And I will only write

About that deep blue

That is her eyes

Just give it time

Even the sea is calm

At the darkest of the night

And I try to think

But the words can’t be found

And I try to drink

But there’s never enough

So I watch the room

And accept this too

This feeling – Nothing

Hoping I don’t become some kind of

Bitter southerner

That’s all

I don’t want to be hung up

I don’t want to be bitter

They expect me to just hate

But have you ever

Talked for hours with a woman

Danced without hesitation

Read until the morning

With her hand in your hand

And her head on your chest

There’s a thousand other intimacies

She gives you before you’re in her bed

I know this will pass

This feeling nothing

Bleeding Ink 1,517

What’s in a name? Why are words important?

Look at us here in this time?

Why do I fight so hard for what I believe in?

Born a preemie. They did not think I was going to make it. I’ve been fighting just to be here. Ever since I was born.

I know life seems dark.
And confused right now.
But let me just say.
We can reach across these walls
We can look across our town
We can breathe
I can still see you
Oh I still see you
I think what it must be just to kiss you.
Yeah
Just to pull you close and feel you breathe
——-
What a revelation
Caught in the revolution
We didn’t think about anything else
But maybe two hearts are better than one
And we can still reach across these walls
We can try
And what a revelation
A heart can still break
And we can still be selfish
We can still be naive
We can still grow up
——
We have to keep the faith
We have to keep living
Art
Love
Passion
We’ve lived and died for degrees
War and peace
Isn’t it time
We picked ourselves ?
We give art
And passion
Love
A chance?
——
I think my eyes would find you
Across any room
——
They say the days are dark
But they just haven’t reached across those walls

It’s time we know how it feels

Wrap your arms around me

You can rest in me tonight

femme érotique

We died here

A thousand times over

In the hunger

The waiting

We both arrived

We see it in each-others eyes

They have terms for her

Cold hard bitch

But she’s a grown ass woman

You get what you see

And that’s what she serves

She knows what she wants

And she goes after it

And when it’s you….

When it’s you

It’s the galaxies edge

It’s figuring out you can breathe under water

She’s a different heat…

She’s sex in heels

——

We don’t ask ourselves about the past

We don’t live there anymore

We are moving forward

——

It’s passion

It’s heat

It’s slow

It’s deep

It’s hunger

It’s her world

I’m just living in it

We’re both here

Everything else fades

There’s a different animal craving

——

We know how much we worked to get where we are….

And right now

That place is

Right here

Bleeding ink 1,462

I’ve been writing every single day since 2011
Over 1,500 (roughly, it could be more like 3k) scraps of paper,notebooks, and posts…

Life is going to happen
But you get back up
You keep walking forwards
I try to make art
No matter what
Whether I’m ready or not
Most of the time
I’ve been terrified
Depressed
And felt very alone

You can’t listen to those voices

You have two people inside you
Everything you believe you can be
And those other voices …

Go make good art.
Your art.

Surround yourself with people who lift you up. I’m thankful for my circle.

Morning by morning

The world was flawed

The work was flawed

Impractical

Opened

The flesh, bruised

We,

We were animals

Fighting ourselves

All of this life

All of this energy

All of this

Here and now

Blown in a moment

By the wind

Gone tomorrow

What was all of that hurry?

What was all of that anxiety ?

—-

Slow it down

I put the

Words on paper

My feelings

On fire

Scorch the edges

Framed by the shadow of your body

In the morning

—-

Morning by Morning

All of this passion

Slow it down

Thicker

Hotter

Slow it down

This energy

This

Heartbeat

This flame

One body

Flesh bruised

Lips on fire

The Morning runs away …

Photo origin unknown

Seasonal Madness

1

She carries this madness

Everywhere she goes

It’s there in the back drop

The corner of every smile

At the back of the room

Don’t ask her,

You already know,

She’s not been happy

For sometime,

2

And it’s difficult these days

And she wants what she wants,

And you want to get back,

Somehow,

Rearrange the seating

Just to cancel

How this all ends

3

And I’m a shrapnel banner

Nothing left to champion

Hole torn through

What kind of

Us

Is left ,

Don’t ask her

She’s not

You know,

She’s not been

for sometime

And

These days are hard

On a soul

And she cries

Smoking

From the balcony

Of this despair

And maybe

I hid all of my sorrow

All of my tomorrow

In your skin

But it is there

Over there

In the corner

4

Flesh, it’s gone from these bones

what do I know,

Slow it down,

I’m tired of this love,

Slow it down,

All of these streets

Incomplete

The leaves are soon going to fall

And then

We will be swept clean

Here in our winter

It’s not dark yet

But they say it’s getting there.

Post card from desolation road (it’s all over now)

She called me late

rain

Settled in her hair

The cool cool air

chilled me inside

my bones

And I kept thinking

About the ocean blue

Where the sun warmed our skin

but now

it’s all sold

And it’s so cold

we’re all so lonely now …

if it’s just the same to you…

And she was calm and she was cool

Her face was set

She lit another cigarette

Against the coming storm

You couldn’t help but think about all of the men

Who let this beast of burden in

The blatant loud disregard hung in the air like cigar

Filling old newspaper rooms

They’re empty now

Just like me

Just like you

You know we can’t go back

We’ve crossed all of these old bridges

We’re fighting ghosts

In our restless hands

She wrote me

And she didn’t know what to say

She only knew the way she felt

And

How everything has turned to grey

And there’s one too many full moons

In the sky tonight

Still

Here I am

My pen and my Gin

Thinking about how there

Was a time

A brief time

When we

Looked bright

In the springtime

But now

I think

We are destined

To be the lonely

Filling the empty

Shells of buildings

With dreams of a future

Foreclosed

On desolation road

That Golden Highway

Runs from here to the salt in the sea

Don’t look now

It’s turned to desolation road…

And all of our daughters

And all of our sisters

Woke up today

With less than they had yesterday

Better not think too much about it

Better not get too used to it

it’s just life on desolation road.

Photo by Ethan Bethune