Tag: bleeding ink

Restless hands

Out on the highway

Out there on the long way

Where the lights follow you close behind

There’s a bend in the road

Where only god knows

Where the lights go

—///

She appears

Where he turned his back on her way back when…

Chased his restless flame

—///

Her tears turned to rain

Rain flowed into rivers

Rivers into oceans

And oceans never fill….

We are beaten by the crashing waves

Only god knows

How to understand

How to hold

These restless hands

——///

Father Time

Broke Mother Nature

And only God knows

How to understand ….

——///

There’s something about grace

There’s something about the contradiction of the heart and mind

And these

Restless hands

Phantom touch

Today is what would have been another wedding anniversary

And you feel a certain kind of way

You wake up with a pain in your gut

And it’s strange because

None of these things were supposed to matter

Remember?

It was just a paper

It was just a license

Nothing would have been different

Except

Everything is different

Your body has a phantom memory

Of presents hid away for this day

Of good small memories

Because it was a life that was tangled up together

And you’ve spent a year

Trying to untangle it

Until

You finally pay the lawyer

And sign the paper

And sit at home

You don’t go out

You don’t get drunk

The crowds didn’t help

The distractions didn’t help

The fasting didn’t help

But you just know

That somehow

It’s going to be ok

At some point

You rearrange your furniture

You take some pictures down

You start playing guitar again

You walk your dog

You cook for you and the cat and the dog

You know better now

You are simply

Changing

Changing into something you’ve never been

You are becoming

And it hurts

But you know you will live….

You’ve moved

You’ve changed jobs

And this phantom memory

One day

Someday

Won’t hurt

Bleeding Ink 1,604

There’s all these voices

I look around the room

I close my eyes

Some raise a glass

Expect me to just hate women

My phone blows up

“Look at this.”

“Go to therapy.”

“Take 4 years.”

Everyone has an opinion

I watch the room

I spent all those years

Doing what I thought was best

Buying flowers

Writing letters

Making dinner

Dances in the kitchen

I still didn’t do everything right, I guess

It’s not one persons fault

I won’t complain

I’m not going to cry in my beer

I’ve seen that

Too too many times

I watch the room

I feel nothing

I feel nothing at all

That’s the worst part

I don’t hurt

I’m not angry

I cannot possibly drink enough

And I feel nothing at all

“You know what you should do? You should go sniff and hit everything you can.”

But I feel nothing at all…

Only the blues

There’s an isolation inside

And I know

There’s going to be a morning

When the sun will rise

And I will only write

About that deep blue

That is her eyes

Just give it time

Even the sea is calm

At the darkest of the night

And I try to think

But the words can’t be found

And I try to drink

But there’s never enough

So I watch the room

And accept this too

This feeling – Nothing

Hoping I don’t become some kind of

Bitter southerner

That’s all

I don’t want to be hung up

I don’t want to be bitter

They expect me to just hate

But have you ever

Talked for hours with a woman

Danced without hesitation

Read until the morning

With her hand in your hand

And her head on your chest

There’s a thousand other intimacies

She gives you before you’re in her bed

I know this will pass

This feeling nothing

Bleeding Ink 1,517

What’s in a name? Why are words important?

Look at us here in this time?

Why do I fight so hard for what I believe in?

Born a preemie. They did not think I was going to make it. I’ve been fighting just to be here. Ever since I was born.

I know life seems dark.
And confused right now.
But let me just say.
We can reach across these walls
We can look across our town
We can breathe
I can still see you
Oh I still see you
I think what it must be just to kiss you.
Yeah
Just to pull you close and feel you breathe
——-
What a revelation
Caught in the revolution
We didn’t think about anything else
But maybe two hearts are better than one
And we can still reach across these walls
We can try
And what a revelation
A heart can still break
And we can still be selfish
We can still be naive
We can still grow up
——
We have to keep the faith
We have to keep living
Art
Love
Passion
We’ve lived and died for degrees
War and peace
Isn’t it time
We picked ourselves ?
We give art
And passion
Love
A chance?
——
I think my eyes would find you
Across any room
——
They say the days are dark
But they just haven’t reached across those walls

It’s time we know how it feels

Wrap your arms around me

You can rest in me tonight

femme érotique

We died here

A thousand times over

In the hunger

The waiting

We both arrived

We see it in each-others eyes

They have terms for her

Cold hard bitch

But she’s a grown ass woman

You get what you see

And that’s what she serves

She knows what she wants

And she goes after it

And when it’s you….

When it’s you

It’s the galaxies edge

It’s figuring out you can breathe under water

She’s a different heat…

She’s sex in heels

——

We don’t ask ourselves about the past

We don’t live there anymore

We are moving forward

——

It’s passion

It’s heat

It’s slow

It’s deep

It’s hunger

It’s her world

I’m just living in it

We’re both here

Everything else fades

There’s a different animal craving

——

We know how much we worked to get where we are….

And right now

That place is

Right here

Bleeding ink 1,462

I’ve been writing every single day since 2011
Over 1,500 (roughly, it could be more like 3k) scraps of paper,notebooks, and posts…

Life is going to happen
But you get back up
You keep walking forwards
I try to make art
No matter what
Whether I’m ready or not
Most of the time
I’ve been terrified
Depressed
And felt very alone

You can’t listen to those voices

You have two people inside you
Everything you believe you can be
And those other voices …

Go make good art.
Your art.

Surround yourself with people who lift you up. I’m thankful for my circle.

Morning by morning

The world was flawed

The work was flawed

Impractical

Opened

The flesh, bruised

We,

We were animals

Fighting ourselves

—

All of this life

All of this energy

All of this

Here and now

Blown in a moment

By the wind

Gone tomorrow

What was all of that hurry?

What was all of that anxiety ?

—-

Slow it down

I put the

Words on paper

My feelings

On fire

Scorch the edges

Framed by the shadow of your body

In the morning

—-

Morning by Morning

All of this passion

Slow it down

Thicker

Hotter

Slow it down

This energy

This

Heartbeat

This flame

One body

Flesh bruised

Lips on fire

The Morning runs away …

Photo origin unknown

Seasonal Madness

1

She carries this madness

Everywhere she goes

It’s there in the back drop

The corner of every smile

At the back of the room

Don’t ask her,

You already know,

She’s not been happy

For sometime,

2

And it’s difficult these days

And she wants what she wants,

And you want to get back,

Somehow,

Rearrange the seating

Just to cancel

How this all ends

3

And I’m a shrapnel banner

Nothing left to champion

Hole torn through

What kind of

Us

Is left ,

Don’t ask her

She’s not

You know,

She’s not been

for sometime

And

These days are hard

On a soul

And she cries

Smoking

From the balcony

Of this despair

And maybe

I hid all of my sorrow

All of my tomorrow

In your skin

But it is there

Over there

In the corner

4

Flesh, it’s gone from these bones

what do I know,

Slow it down,

I’m tired of this love,

Slow it down,

All of these streets

Incomplete

The leaves are soon going to fall

And then

We will be swept clean

Here in our winter

It’s not dark yet

But they say it’s getting there.