I am up with the morning, I Fry bologna and slice a tomato and onion toast and eggs… —— You have this idea in your head Whatever it is, it’s been sold to you… Somewhere you heard it and the pitch and you decided to buy it and believe it and make it your own… —— Who is worse, me or the narcissist ? The hammer or the nail? The artist with their delusion Or the average person unable to see what we see? I make coffee There’s a woman in my bed sleeping with the rain ——/ We all need company, touch, a heart that listens Someone to nurture the good in us Someone to help us feel normal If just for a night —— We work and hope we can still live… Hope we can be good or better than what we know or fear we really are inside…
It’s a long walk From the dream To the graveyard Soles of your shoes Worn through You try for your art For your love You try to write But is it the words ? Or the aesthetic Would the life The words Stand on their own? The hash The filter The aesthetic We are group thought Born into this newsfeed Conditioned and groomed And we are shot through By the stale morning breath that is reality
We were young And We didn’t have expectations We thought that made us better But it was a lie Everybody has expectations Even if it’s expecting us NOT to have them… But it was really just saying I’m afraid I’ll let you down And then you will leave —- People stay with what they know We dated people that would date us for 7 years while looking for their soulmate And we dated people who didn’t have any goals or ambition But why ? A friend from out of town asked me one night … I told them it’s just easier because If you’re with someone who knows exactly what they want Where they are headed You’re suddenly afraid Because you might not be what they need And you might not get a second chance with them if you let them down or hurt them But with these other people You can waste decades And there’s no risk It’s just what we know What we are comfortable with And used to Like anything else ….
They just looked at me Shook their head Poured another drink…
All the light has left There are no stars Only darkness Only pain The cold, dry hunger Yes, morning always comes But an hour too late Out of time They don’t tell you about that There is nothing worse than too late…
We are all living on the edge of the day Out here It’s what we know If something good This way should come Would we even be able to get up to get it We can’t even afford to make the break For something better —— What gold dust promise Did they feed you To put your mind to rest in the night —— Under class Coming in last What broken bones Did you learn to walk on What pain did you put at the back of your mind ——— We grew up at the back of the line We’ve always been On welfare We’ve always been waiting For another Just one more Week Day Next Next time will be better Next love Next job Next life —- Next —- Paradise is out – there Somewhere ——- If help is out there It’s too too late All the power is off All the food is gone All the ills And bills are due All the panic is strong All the history is gone Does it look good on you? They want you to stay quiet But your words are all you’ve got If I should fade It’s all I’ve got I’m leaving I’m out of ideas My weight left in the night I’m not even hungry I tried to get out But you can’t even make the break You’re so far behind They shoot you at the gate You try There’s nothing to fall back on My pulse is gone My mind is fog My heart is ash My tongue is cut out My blood is cold It never let’s go It never lets go It never lets go -Regardingsamuel.com
There was evil, and there was memory and who knows when you first meet either of the two. He knew he saw her standing in the woods in the dark when he was little. Her black dress…long hands…
That was when he saw the lights in the sky.
He saw her again when he was house sitting for his grandfather after his grandmother died. He could hear her long dress moving through the hall at night. Always just catching a glimpse of her entering the rooms.
The night his father died, he saw her through the window, sitting in the rocker. He knew then he had passed.
Maybe it was when he drove the long drive to his father in law to tell him he couldn’t love his daughter anymore…
He saw her then…
He kept hearing the words
Sick in the stomach
Weights around his neck
“You’re not the victim here, if you do this, it will end in destruction, you’re on a dangerous road.”
“He’s just lost. He’s lost.”
He sees her now, every night. In his door. Just like he did before…
She just stands there and then floats away. Sucking all of the light and air out of the room.
Who knows when you meet evil…
There was also a different figure
Blonde red hair
Blue eyes like stars
And fire wings
She was there when he had a seizure in a ditch
She was there, reading, when he was in the hospital, she was there always…
But lately she just smoked and made fun of his poetry…
Trust me When I say There will be things in life You will be unsure of Tax returns Hummus Avocados Speed limits Correct dates of Apts The spelling of wed- whatever But there are somethings That you will NOT be unsure of Love is one of them What you bring to the table Is one of them You deserve
Chicken soup On sick days Massages Sweaters Dances in the kitchen Showers together Month long birthdays And month long valentines Sunday brunches Christmas Letters Fresh flowers Always But uncertainty in love And yourself Is not one of them So if they are uncertain Just leave Because you deserve sureness You deserve Everything you bring And more -Regardingsamuel.com
Oh where did the weather Land on your houses? Thousands of notes photos phones Decades of social media Heart ache Alone ——- Oh where did you rest Vulnerability ? Is there room here At the table for For empathy Is there room now For the divorced The discourse The poets The love that miscarries The sketches of little hearts Broken by time Mouths hungry for feeding Hearts aching for connection —— We have so much riding on tomorrow But no trust for today Did you keep that knife In your hand , Try so hard, But we don’t understand How is there courage Without trust Vulnerability —— The arena of time Your dreams cast down On Blood And stone —— Where did it come down on your houses Did you ever lose Did you ever try Did you ever meet someone Beyond the masquerade Who was real…. —— Oh where is your profit for your stone face And cold hand Where did the hard rain fall on your land Where did the concrete touch your heartland What moment did your childhood end What moment did they pack your Risk and your vulnerability and leave you a check… —— We say we don’t care We say we don’t feel We say we move mountains But we are not real —— And in the morning See the sun break through see your love and loved Move with grace and peace And know we all struggle We all have pain We all come from nothing And we can remain We can reach across Those walls We can stand side by side We can do more than live hard We can love we can try We can see we are in the arena And the cheap seats Are casting their own bets But there is no courage there There is no risk We can be the moment For what people can do The love and vulnerability The risk The trust To break these chains To begin again To begin again —— There’s no use To look back All that won’t last has past And all we have is time All we have is time Don’t think we have time Let’s meet again Beyond the silhouetted masquerade Cast away your perfect image We can be real for just a moment And trust what we must become To be living…
