So you think you’re a man

The world is changing …
Or maybe its always been this way?
Who is to say
Some men hate women
Just the sound of their voice
can set them off

Today a man gets mad
Because eggs
He has noticed
Have gotten smaller
This is unacceptable
He wants answers
The problem ?
A lady answers the phone
Sweet lady
He chews her out relentlessly
She gave the phone to me
And I let him wait on hold
Just long enough to assure him
That whatever he has to say
Has already been brought to me
He doesn’t pitch a fit
When he hears my voice
He catches and then begins again
You wouldn’t have known he was ever mad .

Men , husbands , guys ….
We’ve all seen it
It’s strange how angry some of us are
And how some of us use women
We don’t have a standard
We don’t have a method
We have no accountability
No character
We use checking accounts poorly
We steal their money
We lie
And lie again
I deal with these things daily
Men who walk around
like they just came off
Mens fitness
who women fall all over
Can’t handle their money
Can’t hold a job
Use women who have children
Use women who work hard
Use women who have trust issues
Get them to open up and bam
Let them down again and again
And yet they play a good game
Women fall all over them

And I’m like
If you only knew …
You’re about to be used .

Cause I get the call about the checks
I see small things that lead to big things
It’s much like a bar
Not the whole scene but … It’s close .

And I ask ….
Since when did we fall so far ?
What happened ?
Where are the cool guys ?
The ones I looked up to growing up ?

Surely there wasn’t just ONE

We’re either Mr mom
Super feminine and useless
Womanizer
Or just plain consumed by business

I have no idea what happened
where have all the men gone ?
What the heck happened to my country?
Where’s the cowboys ?
The husbands ?
The leaders?
The business men ?
The risk takers?
The guy who goes out and gets things done!

Now we walk around looking like muscle magazine
or GQ with a character and personality ? That would do well for a snake or poodle
This guy is NOT going to fight for you
Much less pursue you
Or keep you
But he IS very likely
Going to use you
Its crazy

I’m sick of seeing it
I’m sick of all the Christian guys
Who have a list that could span the state
Of rules and standards
Expectations
I’m sick of all the guys who
Are rednecks who have a list of plays and methods
I’m sick of sitting around watching
Guys use women objectively
I’m sick of guys telling their sons
To hate women
I’m just tired …

Here’s my opinion
And it’s probably not going to go over well ….

I have dated very little
But I am aware there are differences
In men and women
How we think
How we communicate
That is the greatness in it
Can you imagine being on a date
With someone exactly like yourself ?
It’d be pretty boring
No mystery no spark
No attraction no connection you’d
Know everything just before it happened
Know what they were thinking
And not in a romantic way
More like in congratulations
You’re dating yourself kind of way
Way to go
Pretty bland
Unless of course
You’re a narcissist to the ninth degree
Just set up a mirror or something
Across the table

I don’t know for sure ….
But I think …
this goes deeper than
” if you like someone go for it ”
” no one is ever too busy ”
Yadda yadda yadda

I’m saying , it’s a character flaw
We’re told things growing up
“You deserve ”
We have this thought pattern
If she doesn’t do this ….
If he does that …
I deserve …
It’s my right …

Relationships ?
Don’t stop your life bro …
Keep planning keep dreaming .
Don’t base your happiness on another person . Cause people change , you change …. Our very personality is constantly changing .
You will be let down if you start orbiting that person and making every single thought and action based on what they are doing .
Plus , that’s just weird .

Relationships are getting to know how to function WITH someone.
what makes them tick . What makes them, them .
The good the bad and the ugly .
It takes time .
You learn to live and grow WITH someone which is progress it’s moving forward . which is healthy .
Living AROUND someone is possessive and restraining to said person and it stunts your growth .

Make a life
Set goals
Create a life that is worth living
Don’t spend all their money
All their time
All their patience
Don’t be another child
They don’t need to be your second mother .
They want a friend and a lover .
Not another girlfriend
They want us to be MEN.

Life in general ?
We don’t deserve anything
We have no right to anything
We have got to start creating things again
We have got to start being accountable again
We have got to stop being just another copy of a copy of a copy

Someone made it too easy
To hate
To do nothing
To be complacent
In war
I learned from Band of Brothers
If you sit still
You die
It seems like the thing to do
Sitting still in a ditch
But
You DIE
You must be consistent
You must keep moving
You must ….

I could really go on and on
I just really have stopped and looked around
And this is a big deal
We are raising children
Who will live and think
Based on our example
Not what we say
But what we do

I’m tired of seeing all the mistrust
The defense
The hurt
People opening up
Only to be judged by someone with a list .
People … Being human .
Maybe it’s only human .
What are we doing ?
What am I doing ?
Shouldn’t life be about growing
Being connected
Giving love
Intimacy
Learning what makes you , you
And me , me .
All the scars
All the wrinkles
All the smile lines
And the dark circles under our eyes
What put them there ?
What’s your story ?

Who are you ?
And if we connect in such away that the sun and moon eclipse
Then ill add your fire to my last name
If that’s what you wanted

That’s what this should be
To me ….

Our kids are watching us
They will take the lead
Not because of your advice
But because of your example
How you lived
How you treat people
How you loved

What are you doing
Who are you ?
Who are we ?
And what are we building
What are we leaving
Where are we going ?
Or
are we just
a copy
Of a copy
Of a copy

Perspective points

You had my attention
And then
You told me why I shouldn’t
The cost is too high
The odds are against me
And that you would walk away

“But that’s just it” I said
Smiling at the worn out expression on your face

” you , would walk away , And I’m not you .”

Where you see a price
I see opportunity
Where you see a nightmare
I see …. Possibility … I dream of possibility .

life is perspectives
When others tell you to walk away
They are speaking on their terms.
Remember they see only one cut in the diamond . Change your perspective and you can see the world . You can make a life .

People like us

Recently, and by recently I really mean the past 4 years
Ok, two years
Maybe, this year. With the economy in such an….overwhelming place …
I started looking at what the future looks like for … Well, people like us .
The working family .

Now, I’m in business – I deal with people.Their children, their money , followed by more people .

It’s no secret that almost NO American feels safe with the thought, prospect, of retirement … None … Zero … I don’t even feel safe , do you ? . And when I say safe, I mean, do you take great joy in thinking of retirement, or do you dread what it’s going to take to get there ? . See where I’m headed .

None of us believe social security is going to be there when we reach the safe haven of 70+ to retire
And yet hardly anyone is taking matters into their own hands .
You have inflation
Taxes
And dog food to look forward to

I lived on potatoes for months as a child
I promised myself never again

I was talking to a farmer from Michigan recently – great guy , he and his wife got married at the age of forty . They are now in their 70’s . He worked two jobs , she worked for the government – so we know she didn’t make much there . She did all right money wise . But she also had two kids when they met … So she didn’t HAVE any money to save . They pulled together , any raises went to savings and retirement funds . They ate in most of the time … They now have a pretty good retirement. One fund is over 300,000 dollars … However , this is only about 1,300 a month .

So

If you don’t believe social security is going to be there – as it should be . If you truly don’t feel comfortable trusting your future to someone else ?
Then why do it !

If we don’t who will ? . If not now , when ? .
We have to start today, to secure tomorrow .

It doesn’t have to be complicated either.

Roth IRA’s make interest work FOR you
We all know about interest. Except now you can feel good about it and not worry so much about inflation .
Fund these and a 401k as much as possible . But make sure you have a good emergency fund available on the side .
‘Cause believe me
Stuff happens
It’s not a matter of IF
But when. And it will happen .

SAVE
What you can , when you can , for as long as ever you possibly can .
If we can’t predict the future ? We must prepare for it .

Will this keep you from worrying ?
No , this is human nature , it means you’re concerned . Just remember … It ain’t nothing but a thing, Do what you can and breathe .

You and I are told to fear the unknown. To panic . To ask questions …
… We don’t have to fear the future , not if we prepare for it … we can change our way of thinking and live like no one else . A down market is not always a bad thing . Perspective is everything .

Consider how almost every advancement in the past 40 years, took place within a down market . Thus turning things around …. Apple , Mcdonald’s , the ATM , cell phones etc etc. The list goes on . The future doesn’t belong to the faint of heart , it belongs to the brave .
life will beat you down,but don’t give up just yet . We are the brave ones . I just can’t help believing in ..people like us.

20130718-014912.jpg

The spot

Recently I wrote about some cool places in Mentone . Well, there is a cool new business here in my home town . https://www.facebook.com/TheSpotCoffeeShop

Called The Spot

It’s retro and fresh . Something we need . Every Friday they have live music. Sometimes karaoke ….and you can purchase local art here as well .
So if you’re ever in Fort Payne Alabama , former sock Capitol of the world ….And need a caffeine fix
This is it

20130717-213615.jpg

20130717-213437.jpg

20130717-213424.jpg

Anniversary

Two years…I logged in today and found a notification that I have been with wordpress for TWO YEARS .

So I thought I would say thank you , two years and 84 followers later ..wow..probably a little late to say thank you. Maybe I should tell you a little about me. I really hate most of the things that I write …looking back …I am astonished that I actually posted any of it .

To me a blogger is someone like my sister…who is actually the reason I started in the first place . http://daniebethune.wordpress.com/

But back to my point.If I had one .Did I have one?. I have the shortest attention span .Seriously .

A little more about me

I’m a thin guy so I dress in layers . Even when it’s 50,000 degrees F, hotter than the surface of the sun. Such was the day of my date with my sister’s very attractive best friend ( I know my sister hates Birmingham, but I’m really glad she moved there – otherwise this date would likely have never happened ) it’s not that I’m vain..it’s just that I’m vain .I was literally dressed like this . I very nearly died . But it was worth it .And in my defense I didn’t know whether it was actually so hot outside or if I was just nervous . Cause , This isn’t just any lady I’m on a date with . This is a very attractive lady .

8b52ef50d4109dab2b70b6b563c86d57
tom hiddleston via http://pinterest.com/ethanbethune/my-style/

Anyway that’s just the way I am . I like hard sole shoes and the arts . Even though I’ve been in business since the age of 6 and business management for 5 years, in addition to Serving as a member of two boards.

It’s the small things like this poster that make me get excited.

4f8f518d29f21b22a846404419019b8f

I can watch anything . I speak in quotes .Unfortunately, this also means that I can watch something ONCE and walk away remembering lines like this . Forever.

f92578b8453722b3f9cfc194e432d97aAndrew: Three days ago, I loathed you. I used to dream about you getting hit by a cab. Or poisoned. Then we had our little adventure up in Alaska and things started to change. Things changed when we kissed, and when you told me about your tattoo, even when you checked me out when we were naked. But I didn’t realize any of this until I was standing alone. In a barn… wife-less. You can imagine my disappointment when it suddenly dawned on me that the woman I love is about to be kicked out of the country. So, Margaret. Marry me. Because I’d like to date you.

But I’m a guy , so I’m supposed to be complex and layered with shadows – right? . no? oh . Somehow all of mine come out in weird silence and sarcasm .

So overall there is a little more about me ..my point in all of this was – is – I may not like everything I do , I may feel older than I am , I may be in business , arts , or traveling the world . I don’t know. I see my life as a series of events ….

I didn’t like them all …no one does …but all of it together has made me who I am .

I’ve been working for as long as I can remember . I would escape with books and stories .It’s a wonder I even graduated . But I DID graduate when I was 16 . Amazingly that doesn’t make me automatically have a job with NASA or Jesus .

I have found that it doesn’t matter what I do , or what I have . It’s not about power or position . Life? it’s about the people we meet and the people we love . It’s about doing the best we can with what we have , it’s not about where we live but our perspective and how we see the life around us .

It takes time…so be patient .

Life is a series of events, choices and decisions ….and it makes us .

and if this is who I am?

than I don’t want to be anyone else .

Thank you for staying with me and for all your comments .

You can win

Don’t be careless. Hold your tongue listen.  Use you perspective to see things as those around you .
There’s an undermanagement problem in our business world and our financial security.

Let me break it down…
Business is 20% product knowledge, 80% people knowledge.
Finance is 20% head knowledge and 80% behavior. 
Theres a link  here…we’re in control of our destiny if we can manage the character of ourselves we can win at both.

MAKE character based decisions not emotional decisions. Emotion is temporary.  Character is consistent.  Its not personal its business. We try to feel everything.  Feel alive…and where did that get us …debt at home and a business that is undermanaged because we are not consistent.   Change your thinking and start today by managing yourself , you can’t afford not to.
You can win.