A year in review 

  

I’m always writing 

In my head 

I’m looking 

I see you 

I’m remembering

Someone said 

In poetry 

We sometimes 

Relive moments 

When we write 

And when we perform 

But they hoped 

We could be like magicians 

And create these moments 

Like mirrors 

And distance ourselves 

From the experience 

So we can grow 

And move On

Well

I hope you know 

Your moments 

Are like Polaroids

I carry with me 

And they are not trauma 

They are light 

And I hope you know

I  am growing 

I  am trying 

I  am evolving 

Into something new 

Something you made possible

When I write 

I don’t always share 

Some things 

I have carried with me 

Like 

So many maps

And everyone was telling us 

What to feel 

And what to see 

And I really did hope 

I would have all the answers by now 

But you have helped show me 

The beauty of it all

Is we experience it while we are living 

And we find the answers 

While we are giving

So

We are here 

Another year 

Another day 

Another shore  

And 

We are communicating 

What we love 

What we touch 

What we see

I have your fingerprints 

All over my heart 

All over my art 

And 

I love 

I love 

I love you 



June 27th

I didn’t sleep last night
Instead I called my sister
Or she called me I don’t know
She was sitting in her window
With a cigarette writing
And I was sitting on my counter
With liquor- trying – trying to write
Somedays are like that
We feel like we have to write
We had something but then we lost it

I hate wasting words though
I’d rather listen
Than waste words
You know me though
I still ramble
I still burn my hands
Attempting pancakes in the morning
I’m very much a lightweight
I’m very far from perfect

I texted a friend of mine around 4am
A nurse- I knew she’d be awake
She was
I wrote a long
Overdue letter
Mailed it to HI
And left for work
Somedays
You realize how used to anxiety
You are
You rush
When you don’t have to
You grip the wheel
Look in the rear view
And you don’t have to

I stopped to buy deodorant
Because for everything else
Hey it’s ungodly hot in the south
You can cut it with a knife

I’m staring at the deodorant
What’s cheaper than 5 dollars ?
Everything is 5 dollars …

“Hey,how are you ?”
It was from the end of the isle
The clerk
An Hispanic girl
“I’m alright,how are you?”

Paying for my deodorant mined from
Moria …has to be why it’s so expensive

She looked up at me
“You look nice today”

I slept 5 minutes
I do look nice today
I’m not anxious today
I’m not depressed
Per say
I’ve got my mind made up
These are our years
You know?
And some days
We don’t have to be doing anything
Saving the earth
Writing the next earth shattering
Gatsby
Directing the next Dark Knight
We just need to hear
“Hey,you look good.you’re doing good”
And have a good conversation
It’s ok to breathe
It’s ok to walk away
It’s ok to just
Be
That’s June 27th

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Perspective (what I learned from suicide)

Wingstop
Probably my favorite place for FRIES
And rolls
Their wings are ok too
It was hot
dead center in the middle of summer.
I was planning on going to a movie when I got the text from my sister,
A text that would stop everything
My cousin, maybe a year or two older than me,engaged to be married
A daughter on the way
committed suicide

I want to talk about this clearly
Point blank
Because I’ve been on the brink
And I have struggled with depression

I do not pretend to have the answers
But I can tell you this
I lost two people last year
My best friend
And my cousin
The year before that
I lost my dad

Life is nothing,nothing like we think it will be.

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But you have to keep living
Not in a depressed manner either
But with the understanding
That ANYTHING is possible
It opened my eyes
Now every time I see an auburn football fan I say
” War Eagle” just for Russ.
Because I always drove him up the wall about being a fan.

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I still struggle with depression
It’s a dark cloud
But
I choose to fight
Because
I believe in hope
And the light
I believe it’s worth it
It’s not me

 

 The thing is
If you’re struggling with change
If you’re struggling
You’re not alone
If you feel like you are not where you saw yourself being
You’re not alone
If you feel like you’ve been cheated
You’re not alone
You’re not alone
You are not defined
By your GPA
You are not defined by your job
You are not defined by who loves you
You are not defined by how much money you have
You are not defined by how much of your bucket list you’ve checked off

The important thing is
That you are happy
In your own skin
That you touch someone
That you leave them with good energy
Putting them at ease
That you are the best youthat you can be

I recently realised this
And I really had to struggle with it
But I remember how my mom’s home makes people feel at Christmas
Anyone can touch anything
Anyone can decorate the tree
Bake in the kitchen
Eat the cookie dough
(Burn the cookies)
They feel like they grew up with us
And they are usually more relaxed
Than in their own home

That’s good energy
And mom always gives advice to anyone
Leading off with
” you know what your problem is”
And boom
There ya go
( a southern lady setting you straight)
But I also figured out
I am a writer
I have to write
Everything I come in contact with touches my very soul
And I have to write it out
So I stopped defining myself by my day job and changed my perspective
This is who I am
It’s what I love
I could live anywhere in the world and do this
I remember sitting at work one night and a college kid asked me what I wanted to do
And I looked at him and said
” man, I should be jumping in oceans and documenting riots in Egypt”
He started laughing because he just didn’t get it
” Ethan’s life goal is jumping in oceans”

It’s fine
Don’t expect people to get excited about what you do
It doesn’t matter
All that matters is that you love it
When you get excited
The people you need
Will be attracted to you
That’s when connections are made
So drop your fear
And take a chance

One day I will move
Maybe not this day
But one day
I will have tea with my friends in the UK
One day I will write about drilling wells in Africa
Dreams are good
One day I will write a screen play
Dreams keep you moving forward
But Be flexible to change
It’s how you accept it that matters

I refuse to live in fear
I refuse to feel like less of a person
I refuse to give up
This is my life
And this is mine

Say Yes

This is good life advice

Arielle Land

I figure life’s a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it. You don’t know what hand you’re gonna get dealt next. You learn to take life as it comes at you… to make each day count.

My favourite thing to do is something I’ve never done before. Adventures have brought me depth, wonder and joy to my life that no one or nothing can ever compete with.

How do I ensure my life is filled with adventure?

Blowing Bubbles

Make plans (but be open to random adventures that take over).
Never, ever hike the same path.
Cross off a bucket list item.
Always try a new restaurant.
heck, try a dish that you can’t even pronounce.
Talk to strangers.
Skip a few of those 8 “needed” hours of sleep
& add some hours of randomness.
Try a new sport.
Stop doing what’s comfortable
& experience what’s makes you uncomfortable.
Turn off…

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IF YOU ARE WISE

If you are wise, you will forget yourself into greatness.
Forget your rights, but remember your responsibilities.
Forget your inconveniences, but remember your blessings.
Forget your own accomplishments, but remember your debts to others.
Forget your privileges, but remember your obligations.
Follow the examples of Florence Nightingale, of Albert Schweitzer, of Abraham Lincoln, of Tom Dooley, and forget yourself into greatness.
If you are wise, you will empty yourself into adventure.
Remember the words of General Douglas MacArthur: “There is no security on this earth. There is only opportunity.”
Empty your days of the search for security; fill them with a passion for service.
Empty your hours of the ambition for recognition; fill them with the aspiration for achievement.
Empty your moments of the need for entertainment; fill them with the quest for creativity.
If you are wise, you will lose yourself into immortality.
Lose your cynicism. Lose your doubts. Lose your fears. Lose your anxiety. Lose your unbelief.
Remember these truths: A person must soon forget himself to be long remembered. He must empty himself in order to discover a fuller self. He must lose himself to find himself.
Forget yourself into greatness. Empty yourself into adventure. Lose yourself into immortality.”
— William Arthur Ward