One

There was an America here, United and strong, curious about its neighbours and hopeful for its future. This was before fear and loathing, before anger and bitterness and conspiracy and chasing ghost and faceless enemies…

There was an America that was before the towers fell, it feels like a lifetime ago, and it feels like it is gone…

I was 11 years old…but even I saw the young man that was our president as he realized in real time …whatever his ideals had been for the future, they were changing…

There is a world before and a world after…and they are two very different things…

There was a loss here, that continued on…with the heroes fighting for their lives and their faces aged before their time…

We have a new moment in America….
In Alabama alone, we have lost over 12k in a pandemic that is ongoing…

It doesn’t feel so far away anymore…
It seems as though every day we lose something or someone once familiar, once close to our hearts…
And we have to find our footing so we can continue…

We have those brave heroes working and fighting everyday…

And like the heroes from 20 years ago…
These are putting their lives on the line…
they have faces, they have names, they have families…
And they will be changed…
And there will be a generation
Who grows up
Changed
From time
And there will be a generation after this …
Asking for the stories ….

There was an America here,
An Alabama,
And it feels like it has gone …
But we continue on…
It is here
Through us…

We maintain our place …
With dignity and humbleness
And courage for discipline and greatness
And refusing to give in to fear…
We continue
And we will tell the stories
And we will keep the courage
To build. To remember. To continue.
For all of us …
For all of our heroes…
We are one.
-E
Regardingsamuel.com

Crucible

CRUCIBLE
——-
To have a heart
That beats
That makes us heavy
That makes us human
I saw a nurse
Her eyes were glazed
Her face numb
“Is it really this bad?”
I asked
“It’s worse…”
She stared ahead as if she was a soldier there again, in battle…
“It was one thing when we were traveling and dealing with it in New York or somewhere else…but now it’s here…everyday. That worst fear…it’s happening.”

Her shoulders and body ached and stiff
From daily, over a year, constantly trying to go against this storm that now covered our maps like red during election time…

It’s easy
To get caught up in a movement and lose your head.
I don’t have to tell you how bad it is
We all have lost
Someone
By now
We all have lost
And are losing
Parts of ourselves
jaded
tired
burned out
numb
Living through science as it is worked out
So much like man works out salvation
Two steps forward
One step back
In the trenches
And we are losing time
Time that we will not get back…
Working through this
You see a shift
In how people want to work
Are willing to work
While my friends
My friends with PHDs and medical degrees
Are tired
And numb ….

“It’s too late…”
Almost ripped out of a Montgomery Alabama sermon on a Sunday
“It’s too late…”
We work out this struggle with time
With history with ourselves
While living in it
And my heart aches
For mother’s and fathers
For husbands and workers
For small businesses
For our communities
For our children
For the nurse
Who is the only thing between us and god…
For the artist who doesn’t know if it’s even worth it anymore …

If you can keep your head
And stand still
And use the truth that is in you
While all that is around you falls
Create
Create
Build
This is when we build
In the trenches
In the rain
In the storm
While all around us falls
And you are tired
And disillusioned
When your faith is at its crucible
This is when you stand
You observe
You face life
Its pain and its loss
Its joy and its mornings
And you build

To create a space
For all that we’ve loved and lost
To hold in memory
To not get caught in a quick moment
Some new movement
Politics
And agendas
To understand
And know
There is no quick fix in life for anything
There is only consistency
And for this
We stand every morning
Against that storm
And we begin again
Though we are torn
And worn
And stretched
Our eyes look forward
Our heart
That beats
That makes us heavy
That makes us human ….

-E
Regardingsamuel.com

beyond the light

Just beyond the light

There is tomorrow

Another line

Another page

A story yet untold

That only you can tell

In your unique way

——///

Our youth

Fields of grain

Too many intersections

And not enough time

——-///

We lived and we tried to feel love

As it was sold to us

We tried to be something

Nothing

Anything

——///

I felt the shift

I felt myself losing tune

Yes tune

We rang loud

And out of tune

We lost touch with people

Humanity

We looked to our palms

And our timelines

But it told us nothing of our times

Twitter is not real

Facebook is not real

It does not give you the supper table

The summer mornings

In the south

The green stalks of corn

The ice storms in winter

The kerosine Heat

——///

We live and die in the hashtag

But we haven’t grown up to maturity

Poverty is more than we can comprehend

It’s a relationship to money

It’s habits

It’s not just wanting and not having

——///

These lives just beyond the light

The gift of life

Look past the last headlines

What we are

We are here

Now

Alive

—-///

More than politics

More than religion

More …

——///

“Be what you were…”

I look at art

At words

Films

From the 90s

And I feel a disconnect

I don’t know this person

This person doesn’t know me

I can’t see the tv from across the room

I keep moving my couch closer and pretending it doesn’t matter ….

Pictures give us words

——///

We are textured

Quilted

Struggled

Immigrants

—-///

Downsizing

Can you downsize the American dream?

We can find answers in 5g speed

We are born with a cellular plan

But we don’t know our neighbour

A pastors struggle on Monday morning

—-///

Are we red and blue state ?

Disconnected

People vote, or don’t vote, for various reasons.

One Party is the single issue party. Or the anti vax, anti mask, lower tax…don’t take my guns?

No, one party is the American dream, Reagan party, read, communicate, write, dream, love your country, write your wife love letters from across the room. You’re groomed from a young age to vote red.

The business owner. Trying to dream.

The other is college kids, millennials, like it or not, woke, sensitive to every issue, minority, apologising, how will the kids make it during this economy?

Most of us are somewhere in the middle not on the fringes…who’ve lived through a handful of economic collapses…

Most of us have lost someone to this virus…

I was talking with a nurse and she was telling me of the horror of a patient dying…of the horror that people still think this is a hoax, the fact that these patients are protected by privacy laws and this creates a gap…and we will never know…but they know…and for them…this is a nightmare…

Now, what do people vote on?

Somewhere in the middle.

We have more in common than we think.

The whole silence is violence

be woke to every single new thing ….

that’s a big tab…

the answer to winning votes and states

is not be the most liberal…

it’s connecting to the country.

We are all Americans.

Unplug from social media,

You can block and unfollow each-other all day long but these are real people with real lives and real votes and they are not going anywhere, they’re our neighbours our mothers our siblings.

what do we all have in common.

Return to the vision. Return to common sense, adulthood …

you can build a platform and a table with room for everyone.

We can’t go back…we go forward…beyond the light…or we fade into oblivion…