Put it on paper

I woke up with a very heavy heart.I tried very hard to just not write today…but I couldn’t. I have to write. It’s how I function. So I’m leaving this here…in the void…hoping it helps…hoping it touches someone here at home …someone out there…someone young like my younger self …I hope it helps.

-Ethan 

  

  

maison de verre

Glass House
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Image origin

Among the artist
In the city
The ‘feelers’
They keep bleeding
And all the
Rivers
They keep running
And all your
Headaches
They keep returning
You know you’re not well
Your mind is bleeding
It’s the pressure
Maybe it’s swelling
And all the nightmares
They keep returning
Standing
Just in the corner
It’s a wet blanket
It’s a timeline
It’s a shadow
It’s a legion

And all the rows of books
On the shelves
You keep counting
And all the Dr’s questions
They keep rotating
And you keep counting
And is this normal
Is this safe

And so you’re just asking
Is it worth it?
Will you be enough?
Is this too much?
Is this fair?
Who cares
It a micro issue
It’s a shadow
Madness
It runs in the family
It’s chemical
But influential
And now you’re walking
In the city
The rain keeps falling
But you don’t mind
It blankets
All the static
In your mind
And you don’t feel
Anything
The one time
When you feel normal
Like everyone else

Black

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Look at the earth
The sun
The moon
Are they lovers?
Or
Are they simply
Fighting for
Their place in the sky?

I try to save myself
But myself keeps
We try to save ourselves
But
We push
We pull
We pick
We bleed
And we believe
Good things
Will always come
Come
Come
Come

I am trying
To see
I am trying

Look over your head
underneath
Your hand
What is it that
You want from ….

Is this all
That’s left to be…
Is this all that’s
Changing me.

People like us

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I really like your writing, she said
I relate to it . It reminds me of my relationship with my dad ….

Laughing I said , Well thank you. That means a lot .
Back then I wrote differently
You can find it if you look deep enough into my archives .
Darker.
This gypsy girl , in love with art
the world
philosophy
astronomy .
She was like the moon , parts of her were always under shadows
I asked her about it once
she said
“I don’t want to scare you away …”
We’ve been friends for a couple years now and she is getting married to the love of her life

I can’t help thinking how we all grow
How we surprise even ourselves
that even our darkest corners are touched tenderly by the sun
We are more beautiful for our scars .
Revealed like maps
for where we’ve been
We are stronger for we have climbed mountains .
We are wiser for we have seen the world .
We are understanding and love without expectation
For we have been hurt .

This is us , the gypsies and the bohemians , the youth .
Growing up .
We didn’t fit in .
We didn’t have a label .
We were numb
But we made it
We lived it
We’re old
But not that old
And we are still living
Free.
With expression and creativity .
We’re going to be ok .
Our children are going to be ok
I think it’s funny how we change
How we suddenly are no longer afraid
How we let people in
How we overcome ourselves
How we are suddenly
where we once
Could only dream of being
This is us
This is life
It’s not a fairy tale
It cannot be controlled
But it’s a series of events
A series of decisions
Are we strong enough
To go after the things we want ?
Yes we are .
Anything is possible .
And why shouldn’t we?
After all ….
This is our stories
People like is .