Beagle in the City #114

Ethan: What are you doing?

Simon: What, I’m waiting for my best friend to share. 

Ethan: There’s nothing to share. It’s all gone. The popcorn is gone.

Simon: You’ve gotta lick the bowl,dad. Think like a dog. You’re so selfish. There’s a whole meal in there. 

Beagle in the City #50

Tito: Heyyy hey my friend Simon!  

Simon: Be cool dad.  Hello,friend dog!

Tito: Hola, brother.  Where are we walking today,the streets are very big, filled with possibility! 

Simon: We’ll just do the same walk. 

Ethan: Who is this guy? 

Simon: Beats me dad, but I think he’s going to walk with us. Be cool. 

  Tito: I know what you’re thinking…you’re thinking I’m too small for such an  epic journey as this. But I assure you, I only require three breaks and two sandwiches…and I also get twice the amount of excercise!…so,are we good? thin man? Good. Alright let’s go!!!! 

Ethan: I don’t think it’s possible to scare this guy away.  He knows this is the normal walk right? And why does everybody keep calling me that?

Simon: Shh dad, he’s peeing on a car. 

Ethan: if you start peeing on furniture I swear…

Beagle in the City #31


Ethan: (answers phone) Hey,lady. 

Simon: Hey, Dad!

Ethan: What? Simon! why do you have moms phone?

Simon: I woke up and you’re not here!

Ethan: I’m on my way to work. You just saw me leave.

Simon: Sigh. Mom is napping. I’m bored. 

Ethan: …

Simon: So,how’s it going?

Ethan: This traffic is terrible.

Simon: Uh huh-got it. So, will I be getting any treats tonight? 

Ethan: I don’t know. You’ll have to wait and see and be good for –

Simon: About that last part.Well,what if I did something really really bad….


Beagle in the City #24

 Simon: My first spring! 

Simon: I sniffed flowers… 

Ethan: What kind of flower is that? 

Simon: This? This is poop 

Ethan: Simon!!

Ethan: We also played catch…

Simon: I’m a great catcher!  
Simon: and then I chased a bee and a butterfly! 

Ethan: Did you get’em? 

Simon: I caught the butterfly and then I let him go. 

Ethan: …

Simon: it was such great day

Beagle in the City #17

Simon: I don’t want to say it…

Ethan: well just smile then 

Simon: But people will see 

Ethan: they always see 

Simon: yeah but this is Valentine’s Day…

Simon : ok ok …

Simon : ….

Simon: Happy Valentine’s Day mom  

Ethan: and?

Simon: Oh and we love you.   

Ethan: hey, today is Valentine’s Day…

Simon: I love love.  

Ethan: are you sad? 

Simon: I’m just glad I was adopted by you guys. We got mom flowers and went to see her at work. 

Ethan: you helped me write letters too. 

Simon: oh yeah that was fun too. 


Simon: adopt and spay and neuter. Don’t shop. We love spending the holidays with you!
For more information on adoption 

Look Here 

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Beagle in the City #12

Simon: What’s in the box!

Ethan: a typewriter. 

Simon: I need to smell it! 

 I’m sitting 


show me how to help, I can use my nose.

Ethan: It’s easy. Like this. My old one was the first journalism typewriter. Silent and light for the Second World War. Really cool. 

Simon: That’s cool dad. What’s a typewriter?

Ethan: it’s right here. 

Simon: PERSON! in the hall! PERSON!! 

Ethan : ….

Simon: I am your protector dad! Protecting.

Ethan: Ok. Did the mail run today?

Simon: Oh yeah! They left me a treat and everything! 

Ethan: Ok smile for mom.

Simon: I’m not smiling. 


Ethan: You know you want to smile. 

Simon:  I’m 30lbs I’m kind of hungry. I only ate three times today. 

Ethan: We will eat manwhiches after this. Now smile.

Simon: manwhiches!!!

Ethan: See that wasn’t so hard.

Simon: Sorcery…

Beagle in The City #11

Simon: I’m just saying I don’t think you can cook it.

Ethan: I can cook Cod.

Simon : Did you get the picture?

Ethan: yeah I think…your ear Simon. 

Simon: That’s called Art.

Simon: Send it to Dogue 

Ethan : I’m sending it to mom

Simon: ….she’s seen us before. What about Dogue. 

Ethan: Dogue doesn’t exist.

Simon: yes it does. I can sense it. 

Simon: are we going to go see mom? It’s Friday….on Friday we go see mom. 

Ethan: we have to cook first. Then we go see mom. Besides, she may still be mad at you for bruising her eye. 

Simon: what! That was an accident. I licked it to make it better And besides…it looked to me,like something a white male would do. Not – a- beagle.

Ethan: you still shouldn’t be jumping on the bed uninvited.

Simon: ….but it’s so soft…like a cloud….

Ethan: it sure is since you stopped hogging all the covers.

Simon: there’s witch craft there dad. It’s suddenly as hot as the sun. I thought I was going to suffocate!! I barely made it out alive! My fur was simmering. 

Ethan: yeah it’s an electric blanket.

Simon: sorcery!!! 

Simon: Oops 

Simon: Dad…dad….dad… 

Ethan: yeah ? 

Simon: I dropped my ball in my water bowl. 

Ethan: well, get it. 

Simon: It’s like it’s own little island…

Simon: Are you sure you can cook Cod?…I don’t think you can cook Cod. Let’s bring it to her fresh. Don’t cook it. I feel like that would be better. 

Simon : Can we add milk bones!! She’ll love that!

Ethan: Negative. How about bread instead.

Simon: oh I like bread!




Drop some on the floor,dad. 

Beagle in the City #10

What is snow ? 

Where does it come from?

Why is it covering my grass?

This is not my grass…

It’s cold

Look at my fountain? 

Why is it so cold 

The mail man didn’t even come today….
When do we eat?

I just want to lay down with my toy rope and watch Netflix 

Or pretend to watch it 

I can’t actually watch TV 
My pack let the House Cat in…

She said she was cold 

I couldn’t handle it

I refuse  to lay down and acknowledge this. 
I also had an accident 

I got so warm in front of the heater 

I peed in the floor 

And then I had shame. So I hid under the table. 

But I still get to cook with dad! 

We made ham with pineapple and peas…

Also dad did not feel well for two days …so I laid with him in the bed…but I think he’s better now. 

I check on him though. 

I tried to give him my rope 

And my ball 

They always make me feel better 

Finally I just laid my head on his chest and waited for mom to come help me. She always knows how to make him feel better.