Ethan: just gonna cut myself an apple. Need to eat healthier anyway.
Simon: I’ll take mine with peanut butter. Thanks dad.
Ethan: where, how did, where did you come from?
Simon: The shelter, remember?
Simon: I’m ready to go see mom.
Ethan: Have you seen the meat thermometer? I need it to check the ham.
Simon: Is that what that’s for? I thought it was for something else.
Ethan: What did you do?
Simon: I had to check something.
Simon: Oh boy, smells done to me. I guess you really can cook ham after all. Let’s go. I’m ready.
Ethan: it’s not as bad as it looks…
Simon: Can I touch it?
Ethan: Don’t touch it, agh!!
Simon: How did this happen again?
Simon: Wait a minute…whaaaat?
Ethan: Now smile…
Simon: …it’s not going to fit
Ethan: yes it will, you just have to twist it…like…this
Simon: it won’t go in.
Simon: If you have to force it, it’s too big. Just buy a new bath for the covers. A BIG one. Everyone can bathe together.
Ethan: it’s a washing machine.
Simon: what’s a washing machine? I was talking about the bath for the covers.
Ethan: I know; a washing machine.
Ethan: GOT IT, I WIN!! You owe me milk bones…
Heres to looking at you,kid. . .
We went to this dog place where you meet new animals and get treats! you know,like a bar… “what are you here for? Arrow through the paw? Yeah,definitely gonna need a treat for that.” It is really awesome. But instead they just weighed me again.
Halloween is a pretty big deal. I don’t know what it is but they keep talking about it
Maybe I’ll go to Halloween as a Giraffe!…or a Raptor!
It’s ok though he’s all better now.
Maybe Halloween has something to do with unicorns…I don’t know.
My person wants to talk now …ok …speak ..speak…speak. . .good job.
(Enter Ethan) Hey guys and gals. My fellow Americans and globe trotters. Simon is like 4, maybe five months now. We have successfully made it through most of the bad stuff. Like teething. He still wakes himself up at night from his own gas though and moves to the other side of the bed. It is hilarious. Oh, and he also frowns like old man. People are used to seeing me walk him now and they say things like “hey! you’re that guy!” And I’m like “yeah I’m the writer.” And they say “No. The funny guy with the little dog.” And I’m like “ohh.”
Other people see pictures online from here…and …here. And then say things such as “you would be so great with children.” Because, that is the natural progression of things. “Well,we did pretty good with the greyhound Francis, how’s the Goldfish? Still alive? Let’s make a baby!”
That is not even CLOSE to accurate! I don’t even feel like it is in the same arena, and if you think so? Well then, you’re not doing it properly. You’re going to be a terrible parent.
I mean what do you want me to do? Walk through the store with my kid on a leash and hiss at him when he steps in front of me? Give him a treat for sitting down? …well, actually that would be pretty entertaining. Do that on the holidays guys. Just pass out treats and don’t communicate – ever. Just hiss.
No seriously, we treat animals like humans and they’re not. They run off energy not language. You can’t lie to them. They just read your energy. We breed them to do specific jobs and throw gifts at them,then we leave them when things go wrong. When in reality? We went wrong.They have thousands of years of evolution behind them and our opinion or perception doesn’t change that.
So when I grasped that concept . I was like man what a relief. I can talk to my dog but I don’t have to talk to him like an idiot. He will still love me. Then again…maybe we should bring that concept to the holidays. Be mindful of the energy people are putting out there.
Simon, he helps cook and chase sticks and ponder the existence of cats.
We are thinking about getting a cat at some point. Pretty sure that would be interesting. He can’t dig for nothing. He just buries things with leaves and looks around like “That’s got it. Totally safe.”
We did see a cat at the vet. It was our second visit since adoption. So I was pretty nervous. Simon was fine. He laid down and let people pet him. I panicked when I heard dogs crying from fecal samples …
It’s just different with a cat.
Cats just watch. And judge you. You know they’re judging you. “Oh, you would have that dog. “Stupid Americans.” They probably have a broadcast to advertise US for adoption. “Help a human life in need today. Adopt a family near you.”
Meanwhile, dogs and humans are just happy to be loved.