lettres de guerre #9

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(Origin:Robert Frank)

I understand your darkness
Charlie
It’s quite alright
The world is
Coming apart
The governments are
Black listing families
Anyone who helps these families
Are black listed
And refused any help as well
On top of this
Marriages like ours
Are taking forever
To file for immigration
Because it’s us
With the Americans
They won’t out right defy america
But they will
Take their time
Some women have been waiting
For years …
We fear we will never leave this place ….
I feel like this most
At night
I feel this gray
But for color
Charlie

I saw a girl yesterday
She made me think of you
She was cleaning the kitchen
And couldn’t get a spot to come clean
Her mother shook her head
Saying
“Use some elbow grease!”
I came back in from reading
And laughed
She was looking hysterical
Through the kitchen
And asked
“I can’t find the elbow grease
Where do we keep it?”

Think of me Charlie
Think of me
Next to you
in the morning
In our flat
Tangled together
Limb for limb
Drunk
With wine

It’s almost Christmas
I can’t help but romanticize the snow
I can’t help but write you
Letter for letter
You will come back to me
Whole,Charlie
There will always be shadows
But
I will love you even in blindness
And if your hands have scarred
I will remind them
Of their maps
On my skin
Of how to touch me.
I will mend you.

Love,Anastasia

lettres de guerre #8

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Origin (David Elliot)

grâce incroyable de voir comment le doux bruit …
(Amazing grace how sweet the sound…)

Anastasia
Sometimes
I seperate from myself
I see
See the fields filled with ash
See the hearts filled with stone
And
I see us moving
Inside the light
And shadows
Emptying chambers
In our guns
In silence
Picking out
The fragments
After bombing a city
We can’t choose
Anastasia
We can’t choose what revelation
Comes our way
But I saw
The words
I hear the hymn
In the back of my mind
And I hope that after
Ten thousand years
We will be there
We will make it right
I hope that I come together
Whole
I hope that
We won’t drag each other
Out in the streets
I hope that we won’t
See what one man
Can do to another man
I hope ….
That we come back
And then
We somehow
Remember how to live.
How to love you
Again
Sometimes
I feel as though
We only know how to…
How to destroy humanity
I know we should be keeping it safe

But it’s like this
One city
We stayed in
They’d had all their medical workers
Removed
After a black out
These were sent to the military…
Just before we got there
One of ours slept with a woman during our post …
He really just raped her
I have no better context
I’m sorry
He was apparently drunk
But beside the point
Having no Drs
No medical personnel
Within hundreds of miles

On the day we were leaving
She came out watching us
pulling out a revolver
She shot the private
In the face …
This is what war does to us
Collapsing in the streets
Our hopes
Of a better tomorrow
They’re fleeting
And vague .
And I am so tired.
I am so tired.
I wish I had better
News.
I wish I had better
Letters.
I wish there were words
For this
That left us…
Closer together.
So just say my name
Write about the taste of food
Tell me about color
Because all I see
Is gray
All I see is black
And I can’t lift it.
Anastasia,

Love,Charlie.

lettres de guerre #7

la couleur de rien
(The colour of nothing)

October 17th

Is there a color for nothing?
for this feeling?
you rearranged me
And
I’m afraid we’ll never be together
I poured my grief
Into the violin and the piano …
I looked for you in the Keys
I looked for you in the bedroom,
I looked for you in the gentle
Shadows of others dancing
but I could not find you
The shadow
In my heart

Write to me,
Your love
– Anastasia

lettres de guerre #6

Sept 3rd
My,A

do you remember
Staying in the flat, for three days,eating pepperoni and drinking red wine?
I said this must be what a king feels like
And you laughed asking why?
And I told you about grits
And biscuits

We passed through a small town very much the same ….
The streets were empty
And the windows boarded
I couldn’t help but think about it…
It brought me a kind of surreal
Peace.

I can’t do much else
Other than wish you
A happy birthday
I hope this reaches you soon.

Love, Charlie
P.s keep writing
I’m getting your letters
Every word
In time

Aug 12th. lettres de guerre #4

My , A
I don’t have but a few minutes..to get a line in..
But
I’m standing here on the deck
Somewhere off the coast of the Philippines …
I can see every star.
But you’re my north
Were I able,I’d reach out and pick the one that shines for you you’re looking at and ask it to shine a little brighter and let you know …Writing you.
Im here
I saw a comet,it was pulsating and bright and then it dropped
like your neckline …
I remember you,
I remember your lips …pulling mine…
I remember your accent gentle like the water…your hair like lavender
you
biting my shoulder and laughing ‘Sex on heels ‘
That’s what I called you…

I would that I could
Follow that comet to the edge of the Galaxy
Spelling sensual words
Along your waist…
Burning,layer by layer..
Down your inner thighs…

jusqu’à ce que je découvre chaque langue que vous chantez dans
(until I discover each language you sing in)

This is what the water’s made me…
And I miss you…

Love,Charlie.

reine du désir

reine du désir
of
Hidden victories
Inside shadowed cemeteries
Who can see the ghost she bears ?
queen of survival
reine du désir
Empowering
moving within mystery
She is the curve of the earth
The current moving in
She doesn’t fit in your hand
With oceans pounding
In her blood
She listens for your heart
reine du désir
She came from your rib
So bring her closer than that

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